


Tap, Snap, or Nap!

by katzengefluster



Series: Passing The Guard [2]
Category: NCT (Band), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, High School AU, M/M, Overcoming Homophobia, jiu jitsu au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 66,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzengefluster/pseuds/katzengefluster
Summary: Life is set to start kicking Koo Junhoe's ass, but he's not about to take it lying down. So what if his boyfriend is about to move away and his best friend is about to start ditching him for someone else? It's nothing he can't handle. (Except that it is.)  ///// Sequel to jiu jitsu AU Passing The Guard!





	1. Between Something and Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> To all my old readers from PTG—hello and welcome back! Hope the long wait for this sequel wasn't too hard. ♥♥♥
> 
> To any new readers—hello and welcome to my AU! You don't absolutely have to read PTG in order to read this, but it really helps.
> 
> To anyone here for the first time since I'm tagging NCT: it's really only Taeyong showing up in this fic (but he is a main character). Some of the others might appear as minor characters here and there. I would recommend reading chapter 30 of Passing The Guard if you want a bit of Taeyong backstory (there's a very important scene in that chapter that sets the mood for his story arc in this fic). I'm not gonna lie—he's got a very tough time ahead of him in this story. But I never let anyone suffer without some kind of positive resolution at some point. :)
> 
> On that note to everyone reading: this story is going to have a lot of touchy subjects, moreso than PTG. One of the toughest subjects I'm going to write about in this fic is homophobia and conversion therapy (trying to force people with same sex attraction to renounce that attraction and "become" straight). I want to mention that up front as I'm sure it will be tough for some people to read about that, since I gave all my gays loving and supportive families in PTG. But in TSN it's time to look at the dark side of coming out. However—no one is going to suffer without happy resolution eventually. If you're familiar with my writing then you'll know I like to write healing fics, and this is definitely going to be the same. You just have to suffer first. ;)
> 
> There are other touchy subjects that will come up as well, but I won't talk about those until it's time for them to show up. If you are concerned about anything, feel free to message me and I can let you know what scenes to skip if you can't handle reading anything traumatic. ♥ But it's not all doom and gloom! There's still going to be a lot of fun times, humour, and witty banter. There's just more angst.
> 
> Having said all of that—one last note! Since I ran out of BJJ moves to name my chapters after a long time ago, I've decided to title my chapters after songs this time around. That's why you'll see song lyrics posted at the start of each chapter. They touch on a scene from each chapter. Thought it would be a fun way to share some of my favourite music with you guys. ♥
> 
> Sorry guys one last note!! I know I said I wouldn't be posting this on a weekly basis the way I did with PTG, but I actually have the first 13 chapters fully written, so you can expect it posted weekly for the first 13 chapters at least. After that we'll see, but I'm not stressing myself out this year trying to meet a weekly deadline. I also haven't completed a full chapter run-down yet, but I know this story is going to be over 50 chapters again. So we're looking at another year-long project. Enjoy. ;)

> _Words that form a sentence, words that form a phrase, in a poem or a letter  
>  Could not convey the meaning, of what this man has done_  
>                                         [Between Something and Nothing - The Ocean Blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCIEv73PF4Y)

* * *

_  
“I should have known. All this time, of course there was a reason for your continued failures.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ He couldn’t breathe, the words felt like fingers around his throat, suffocating him. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “What have I done to deserve this? Why am I being punished? Seventeen years and I thought you were someone I could be proud of. I thought you were someone I could shape into the man I would need to take over my company.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ He wanted to laugh at the words—it had been seventeen years of being told he wasn’t enough, seventeen years of harsh criticism and disappointed looks. He’d never deluded himself into thinking that he’d ever truly please his father. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I will not have this stain on my family name. I can’t allow it.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Silence swelled between them, but the look on his father’s face confirmed what he’d been afraid of. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I want you out of my home. You are no longer welcome here.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ He stared, open mouth, surprised expression even though he’d expected this. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “You’ll live with your grandmother, and you’ll have no contact with my family.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ My family. Not ours, but my. His. Not mine, father, only yours. He pinched his arm to keep the tears in his eyes. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “If you decide to renounce your behaviour, you might be allowed back.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ They exchanged looks for a few seconds and then it was over. His father left and he stood alone, suddenly gasping for breath as though he'd taken the very air with him when he’d turned his back. He sank to his knees and pinched himself again, but the tears came anyway. _   
  


* * *

  
He hated the way it always bombarded his head during the most inopportune moments. Every time he told himself he was over it, every time he’d resolved to live his life separate from the family, his father’s words came back to haunt him.   
  
It was bullshit. Complete, utter bullshit. The same way that his own feelings were bullshit, that his needs and desires and wants were  _ bullshit. _ He’d never asked for any of it, but it had been placed around his neck like a noose anyway, and every time he succumbed to the instinct he could feel the noose tightening, rubbing his skin raw.   
  
He hated it, being gay. He hated it  _ so much. _   
  
“What the fuck are you doing around here, fag? I thought we told you to stay away?”   
  
_ Shit. _ He didn’t have to turn his head to know who that voice belonged to, didn’t have to look him in the eyes to see hateful disgust. He could feel it in the air around him.   
  
“You fuckin’ deaf?”   
  
Just as he was about to turn he felt a hand on his back that shoved him forward; he stumbled but retained his footing. He moved a step back as he stood up and turned to face them, and he wondered briefly if he shouldn’t just run. There were four of them, and Taeyong wasn’t exactly a fighter anyway. That had always been Daehee’s thing…   
  
He didn’t even flinch when the first punch was thrown. He just stood his ground and took it, hoped it wouldn’t knock him out. Just as another one was about to be launched he heard the sounds of a brief struggle and he raised his eyes, feeling a mixture of relief and irritation.   
  
“The fuck are you assholes doing? You’ve been told to leave him alone.”   
  
The voice annoyed Taeyong, it got him so heated that he balled his hands into fists at his side.   
  
“We had an agreement. He stays the fuck away from our neighbourhood, and we don’t go looking for him.”   
  
“Oh, is that it? Maybe I tell my dad about this, about how two of his guys are going around attacking people in the street. You think he wouldn’t hesitate to fire your asses?” No one replied right away, but eventually someone spat on the ground and Taeyong could  _ feel _ the tension between all of them.   
  
“One of these days, Daehee, your dad won’t fucking matter. Then it’ll just be you against me.”   
  
“And I’ll kick your ass. Now get the fuck out of here.” The group of four left, taking the majority of the tension with them. But there was still some left, and Taeyong willed it to manifest in physical format, willed it to put up a wall in between himself and his former best friend.   
  
_ Former, _ who still kept sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.   
  
“Are you following me?” Taeyong rounded on Daehee in anger, taking his frustration out on the person who’d just saved him from getting his teeth kicked in.   
  
Daehee just shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, you’re fucking welcome for it, too.”   
  
“I didn’t ask you to step in,” Taeyong replied, “I can—”   
  
_ “Take care of myself, _ yeah, fucking right you can. If I hadn’t shown up you’d probably be on your way to the hospital. Again.”   
  
They stood apart, staring hard at one another, and Taeyong hated the way he felt when he looked at Daehee, hated how he always, without fail, felt like screaming because he missed him so much. He missed Daehee, missed Daehee’s family. But Daehee hadn’t been there for him when it had mattered most and Taeyong would never let him forget it, no matter how many times Daehee tried to help him to make up for it.   
  
Daehee thought he was disgusting, that’s all it came down to. It didn’t matter how many times he said that he was trying to understand. He  _ couldn’t  _ understand, and that was all Taeyong needed to know.   
  
“I’m just picking up some last things from my—” Taeyong paused (because it wasn’t really  _ his _ home anymore, was it?), “from my dad’s place. My grandma wanted some things, and well, you know my dad. He could have them sent over, but he won’t.”   
  
Daehee’s expression softened. That made Taeyong angry all over again.   
  
“How is your grandma?” Daehee asked, and the genuine concern make Taeyong’s skin prickle.   
  
“She’s good.” Taeyong rubbed at his jaw before glancing quickly at Daehee. “Thanks for, you know, just now, but I gotta go.” He rushed past Daehee, but of course it couldn’t just end there.   
  
“Taeyong, bro, I’m trying, okay?”   
  
“I’m not your bro anymore.”   
  
They walked in silence for a minute until finally Daehee spoke again. “My dad asked me about you.”   
  
Taeyong stopped and faced him, his stomach knotting up. He’d always been close to Daehee’s family, especially to Daehee’s father. He’d been the caring father figure Taeyong had never had in his own home. “What did you tell him?”   
  
Daehee looked at the ground, looked like he was actually having a hard time with this, and it brought a tiny bit of relief to Taeyong. It was nice to finally see someone else suffering.   
  
“I told him your dad kicked you out.”   
  
“Did you tell him why?” Daehee’s parents were devout Catholics who were completely opposed to the very concept of homosexuality, so Taeyong didn’t put much stock in their continued sympathies.   
  
Daehee nodded. “Yeah.”   
  
“And? What did he say?” Taeyong waited, even though he didn’t want to hear the answer. Couldn’t take knowing that the only parental figures who’d ever been warm towards him now considered him sub-human.   
  
Daehee finally looked at him. “He said that I should tell you to come over, that my mom misses cooking for you.”   
  
Taeyong hadn’t been expecting that, and he didn’t respond right away. There was no way Daehee’s parents would approve of him, not now. “You’re lying. You didn’t tell him shit.”   
  
“I did,” Daehee replied, gritting his teeth, “I told him, and I asked him what I was supposed to do. He said that this was all just a test, that God was testing us, all of us—”   
  
Taeyong hated hearing it. “What the fuck did I ever do to make God test me like this?” Daehee’s dad wasn’t the only one to say it. He’d heard it from his mother, from his grandmother too. Heard it from the pastor at the new church his grandmother was making him go to.  _ ‘This pastor helps boys like you, Taeyong-ah, please be nice to him, he just wants to make you better.’ _   
  
Daehee didn’t have an answer. “Just come to my place, okay? We all miss you. Please, bro.”   
  
Taeyong started walking again. Fuck Daehee and his family. Fuck everyone. He’d never asked for any of this, desperately didn’t want it. But he was stuck, ladled with the responsibility of having these abnormal thoughts in his head, saddled down with the extra weight of an attraction he hated.   
  
Daehee knew it was a lost cause at the moment so he followed in silence, not ready to give up yet, but not in the mood to waste his breath either. He followed Taeyong all the way to his former home, but sat outside while Taeyong went in. Daehee sat at the front entrance to the apartment building, kind of as a test. If Taeyong really didn’t want to see him, he could leave through the back. But if he came out from the front, then Daehee would try again.   
  
It gave him a chance to think, at least. He was still trying to come to grips with the fact that Taeyong was gay. He still had the knee jerk reaction of being disgusted, of being angry. But he’d tried turning his back already, and after a week the only thing he’d known for sure was that despite the overlying issue, he missed his best friend.   
  
Daehee agreed with his dad. God was testing them, that was all. Sure, it was unfair to Taeyong, but there must be some reason. God’s actions weren’t always explainable. His dad had told him that it was like war, and famine, and natural disasters. God allowed things to happen, and he didn’t have to explain himself.   
  
It made Daehee feel a little better, but Taeyong’s outbursts still made him question it all. Why, out of everyone, did it have to be Taeyong? Six billion people in the world, and God chose his best friend.   
  
So he was trying his best, trying to understand why, and what it meant for all of them. He knew Taeyong was mad at him for turning his back at first, and Daehee couldn’t blame him for that. He’d be angry at himself too. But Taeyong didn’t really have anyone else, only his grandmother, and Daehee knew that he’d cave eventually, that he’d get lonely. Then he’d forgive Daehee and they’d be best friends again, and Daehee and his family would help Taeyong through this period in his life.   
  
Because it was only a  _ period _ . Taeyong wouldn’t always be gay, Daehee was sure of that. It was just a test, and they’d all pass it if they just stuck together. He hadn’t said as much to Taeyong, because it was a touchy subject, but that’s what he knew for sure. Taeyong would see it eventually.   
  
Daehee felt even more confident of that outcome when Taeyong finally showed up at the door, carrying two boxes and a bag. Daehee didn’t say anything, he just opened the door and took one of the boxes from Taeyong. Taeyong didn’t argue, he just said that they needed to take the stuff to his grandmother’s place, and Daehee followed him.   
  
They took the subway to Taeyong’s new neighbourhood, and the length of the trip made Daehee have a sudden emergency realization.   
  
“Are you still going to be at school?”   
  
Taeyong had gotten so used to their silence that Daehee’s question took him by surprise. It was a topic he didn’t want to think about, one that infuriated him in its unfairness.   
  
“I’m transferring.” He hoped Daehee would drop it, hoped he wouldn’t speak it out loud.   
  
“To where?” Daehee knew the schools in the city well enough from the basketball league. While he knew there were multiple schools in the area that Taeyong could go to, there was only one elite school, and Taeyong was far too smart to go somewhere subpar.   
  
“Doesn’t matter.” Taeyong didn’t want to say it. It still made him seethe, and his fingers started to dig into the sides of the box.   
  
“Bro,” Daehee knew from his response that it was the bad news he feared, he could read it in the white knuckles on Taeyong’s hands.   
  
Taeyong had already been through it with his grandmother, and he couldn’t stop himself from replaying it again in his head.   
  
_ “Taeyong-ah, you’re going to have to change schools, you’re out of district.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “What?” Not only did he have to move, but he had to change schools, too? On one hand, he didn’t mind, because it wasn’t like he had any friends left to miss. But what was he going to do about basketball? He had one season left to beat Kim Hanbin, if he switched schools, what would happen? _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I’ve already looked into the schools here, and I’ve sent your papers off to the top one.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Taeyong could practically feel the blood draining from his face. His grandmother lived in Gangnam, and he knew the schools in the district. This wasn’t possible. It wasn’t happening. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “It has a very good reputation for academics, and their basketball team won first place last year. Basketball is the sport you play, right? I wanted to make sure you could go somewhere and play on a good team in your last year.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ This wasn’t reality. Taeyong was stuck in a nightmare, that was the only answer he could accept. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Taeyong-ah? Did I remember wrong? I’m sorry, I thought it was basketball. But the other sports teams are very good—” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Is it Whimoon?” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “Yes, dear! Are you familiar?” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Was he familiar with Whimoon? What a question. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I’m not going.” He’d sooner go to some bottom school than Whimoon. Anywhere but there. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “What do you mean? I’ve already signed you up, they’ve accepted your transfer—” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I’m not going to Whimoon!” He didn’t mean to yell at his grandmother, but he couldn’t stop himself. She didn’t reply, just stared at him in surprise. He brought his tone down. “I can’t go to Whimoon.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “But why? It’s really the best school here.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ She wouldn’t understand, she couldn’t, no matter how he tried to explain. “There’s a guy there…” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ The blood drained from her face. But she misunderstood. “Oh, was it the boy that your father—” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “No!” She thought it was that guy, the one whose name he couldn't even let himself think anymore, the one his father had caught him making out with. “We’re rivals.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “How do you have a rival at another school?” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “He’s my basketball rival. He’s an arrogant asshole, okay? He’s this constant thorn in my side, getting in my way! Every year I come so close to being the top in the league, and every year he beats me by a few points. But it’s not because he’s better; he is not better than me. His team was better than mine. He always had a better team.” Taeyong hadn’t meant to have the outburst, but it was too much. His grandmother had wanted him to go to a school with a good basketball team, but this was the one school he couldn’t go to. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ His grandmother looked sad, at least, but she’d already signed him up, hadn’t she? _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “I’m sorry, Taeyong-ah. I only did what I thought would be best for you.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Taeyong wanted to yell at her more, wanted to walk away and slam his door in her face. He wanted to punch a hole in the wall, he wanted to break every dish in her kitchen. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ But it wasn’t her fault. He couldn’t blame her. _ _  
_ _  
_ _ “It’s okay, grandma.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ It wasn’t okay. But it was done. _   
  
“So you’re going to Whimoon, then?” Daehee asked, bringing Taeyong back to the present.   
  
“Yeah,” he replied, dejected tone of voice, “I’m going to Whimoon.”   
  


* * *

  
“We went to the Lego Cafe last night and Jinan made a dick.”   
  
Hanbin shook his head and laughed. “Of course he did. Was it realistic to size?”   
  
“Nah, there weren’t enough pieces.” Junhoe joked back. “We made miniature ones.”   
  
“Oh, so true to your size, then?” Hanbin teased, and Junhoe laughed sarcastically.   
  
“How was the food there?” Donghyuk asked, leaning over from his desk.   
  
“Decent,” Junhoe answered, “the drinks were good.”   
  
“So it’s worth going to?” Donghyuk asked, and Junhoe nodded. “Good. Just trying to plan my next date with Yunhyeong, so we might do that.”   
  
“Are you guys going to make Lego dicks too?” Hanbin asked, grinning when Donghyuk shrugged.   
  
“Please, Hanbin! We’re not that immature.” Donghyuk replied teasingly.   
  
“We’re not immature!” Junhoe whined. “We just know what we like.”   
  
“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt your gay dick conversation, but I have some very important news for Hanbin.”   
  
Hanbin spun around, eyes on Jeon Wonwoo, one of his basketball teammates. “It better be important, Won-ie, you just interrupted the conversation of the year.”   
  
Wonwoo grinned back at him and waved his phone at Hanbin. “It is important. I don’t think you’re going to be very happy about it, though.”   
  
Hanbin frowned at him and sat up. “What is it?”   
  
“I just got a text from Woosung.”   
  
Hanbin felt weird at hearing his name. He knew that Wonwoo was talking about Jung Woosung, Hanbin’s ex-boyfriend. The two were friends, though Wonwoo didn’t often mention him. But everything between he and Woosung was in the past, and they were supposed to be on friendly terms. It was Hanbin who continued to avoid him, though. “What was the text?”   
  
Wonwoo had a weird look on his face, almost like he was a little afraid of what he was about to say. “There’s a new guy in his class this year, a new transfer.”   
  
“And?” Hanbin questioned, because new students were common. In fact he had two new students in his class this year. One transfer from Busan, and another who’d spent the past eight years in Japan.   
  
“I made him send me a picture because I thought he was bullshitting me.”   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure that he wanted to know. Why would Wonwoo request picture evidence? Unless the someone new was someone that had no business being here at their school. Since Wonwoo was the one bringing it up, it had to be someone basketball-related. Was it someone from another school that they were familiar with? Hanbin had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he was about to get terrible news.   
  
“Who is it?”   
  
Wonwoo glanced down at the phone before looking back at Hanbin. “Seriously, this is probably going to ruin your day, so I’m sorry. But you need to know.” He handed his phone to Hanbin, who took it gingerly, almost afraid to look.   
  
But he did glance down, and his face dropped in shock when he saw that unmistakable silver hair. It wasn’t possible. At  _ his _ school? No way.   
  
He handed Wonwoo his phone back and didn’t say anything, not even when Junhoe lightly slapped his cheek.   
  
“Who was it? Why are you so freaked out?” Junhoe looked up at Wonwoo then, reaching for his phone. “Who is it, let me see.”   
  
Wonwoo showed Junhoe, and Donghyuk looked too, and their combined loud intakes of breath brought Hanbin back to his senses.   
  
“Holy shit, Hanbin, is that Taeyong?” Junhoe looked at Hanbin, who was breathing again, at least.   
  
Hanbin shook his head and looked back at Wonwoo. “Are you sure he’s not just fucking with you?”   
  
“Dude you saw that face. It’s him. I don’t know why he’s here, but he is.”   
  
Hanbin nodded and turned back around to face the front of the room, still too shocked to say anything more.   
  
Junhoe looked up at Wonwoo, who shrugged at him and returned to his seat, the news having been passed. Junhoe turned back around to look at Hanbin, who was still silent. “Bro? You okay?”   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “No. Why is he here? Why would he transfer in his last year?”   
  
“Do you think he’s going to try out for the basketball team?” Donghyuk leaned in closer.   
  
“I hope not,” Junhoe said, “I can’t imagine you guys getting along.”   
  
Hanbin hadn’t even thought about that yet. His thoughts were actually on Taeyong, remembering what he’d overheard that night of their last game against each other. Had something happened between Taeyong and his dad? If Taeyong was here, that had to mean he’d moved. But why would his family move so suddenly? Unless it wasn’t his family, but just Taeyong.   
  
But he couldn’t voice that out loud. He still hadn’t told anyone about that conversation except his father. Instead he’d just focus on Junhoe’s comment, because it was a good point. Even if he felt a weird flare of protective feelings for his rival, the truth was that Taeyong probably hated him, and Hanbin wasn’t about to tell him that he knew about his dad. And regardless of Taeyong’s dad situation, Hanbin wasn’t entirely sure that he could ever be friends with Taeyong. Sometimes there was just too much history there for a person to get around.   
  
So he shook his head and met Junhoe’s eyes. “Yeah, I don’t think that would work. We play the same position, too. He was the co-captain last year, so he probably expected to captain his team this year.” Hanbin had already been promised the captain’s position at the end of last season, and he and Taeyong playing together was one thing, but how would Taeyong react to having Hanbin as a captain?   
  
Their teacher picked that moment to show up, so Hanbin had to force the thoughts back in his head. But it was hard to focus knowing that his rival was sitting in a class just down the hall from his. They’d meet eventually. Should Hanbin seek him out first? Would Taeyong be looking for him, or looking to avoid him?   
  
What was he going to say? Could he even trust himself to not blurt something out about his dad?   
  
He thought about it all morning in his head, so by the time lunch came around he just wanted to find Taeyong and get it over with. He needed to focus in the afternoon (even though Donghyuk had told him that he could copy his notes later). Hanbin scanned the cafeteria for silver hair, and he was actually a little taken aback when he found him.   
  
Taeyong was there, at a table, eating lunch.   
  
With Woosung.   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure why it stung.   
  
“You gonna go talk to him, or just stand and stare?” Junhoe grabbed his elbow and pushed him along to their own table, and Hanbin finally tore his eyes away. Taeyong wasn’t going anywhere for the next few minutes, at least.   
  
“What the fuck do I even say?” Hanbin asked, sitting down across from Donghyuk, whose nose was in his phone (probably texting Yunhyeong, if his smile was any indicator).   
  
“Assert your dominance, tell him if he wants to join the team he’ll have to prove himself first.” Junhoe sat down next to him.   
  
Donghyuk made a clucking noise of disagreement. “You have to extend the olive branch of peace, Hanbin. You’re the captain, after all. You have that responsibility now.”   
  
Hanbin frowned and looked down at his food, not feeling hungry in the slightest. At times like this he found himself missing Yoongi. What would his captain have done in this situation? Maybe Hanbin ought to call him for advice.   
  
It still bothered him that out of everyone in their year for Taeyong to befriend first, why was it Woosung? Woosung knew they were rivals—he and Hanbin had been dating when Taeyong had injured him two years ago. Even though they barely spoke these days, Hanbin still felt like he was being betrayed.   
  
Which was stupid and he knew it. Junhoe said something teasing to Donghyuk, but the comment didn’t register in Hanbin’s head because he was too busy staring at Woosung.   
  
Almost as though he could feel the stare Woosung suddenly looked up past Taeyong, his eyes meeting Hanbin’s. Woosung winked at him and Hanbin frowned and looked away.   
  


* * *

  
It was only Bobby’s second week on the job but he’d already settled into some weird sense of complacency with the idea of working at a job like this. It was just physical labour, working at a warehouse, loading and unloading shipments. He was working with his brother, who’d got him the position. It was only supposed to be temporary, to give him some time to really think about what he wanted to do.   
  
He liked it, though, more than he thought he would. He didn’t really have to think too much, and it was basically like working out all day so he didn’t even have to go to the gym that often. It was a different kind of tired than he felt when he was in school, studying and worrying about deadlines.   
  
He’d actually started writing again, little bits of lyrics here and there, nothing serious, but more than he’d felt like doing in two years. School had that way of taking up so much of your brain power that he’d never really wanted to think about much outside of class. But now he could think all day while working, about stuff he actually wanted to think about.   
  
Mostly he thought about Hanbin. Part of the temporary aspect of his life at the moment was because he was waiting for Hanbin to decide what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go. Of course Bobby would love it if he stayed in Seoul, but Hanbin had casually mentioned the idea of applying to schools in other parts of the world. Jinhwan’s impending move to California seemed to be infecting Hanbin with a desire to study abroad as well.   
  
Bobby just hoped that wherever Hanbin thought about going, he was thinking about Bobby being there with him.   
  
“Eh, Jiwon!”   
  
Bobby looked up from where he’d just finished stacking a pallet full of boxes of tupperware. It was his shift supervisor, a guy only a few years older than his brother called Dongmin.   
  
“Just got a call from dispatch, our next truck broke down so there’s gonna be at least an hour delay, maybe a bit longer if they hit traffic on the way in. So when you finish up with this, take off for a bit, okay? Keep your phone on you and I’ll let you know if it’s gonna be any later than 3.”   
  
Bobby nodded, happy to take a break in the middle of the day. Of course it meant they’d be working late, but when you didn’t have a schedule, it didn’t really matter. It was a nice day out, so maybe he’d grab a bite to eat and sit by the river and do a bit of writing.   
  
He finished logging his work and then checked if anyone needed help finishing up (no one did, but he didn’t want to look too eager to skip off for a bit) and clocked himself out as requested. He sent Hanbin a text on his way out the door.   
  
B:  _ hows day 1?? r ur classes good? _   
  
He hesitated for a moment, fingers hovering over his phone. But he’d made a promise to himself to be as open and honest with Hanbin as possible, because communication was important in relationships. He’d learned that the hard way over the course of the last year, he wasn’t looking to give himself any more grief any time soon. So he hit send on his second message.   
  
B:  _ i miss u!!! _   
  
He actually felt better for typing it out, too. Maybe it was a little dorky, because it’s not like he hadn’t just seen him the night before. But still—it was a beautiful day out, and he wished Hanbin was free to come lounge at the river with him.   
  
Since he wasn’t, Bobby sent a text to Jinhwan, hoping that he wasn’t in the middle of anything. Jinhwan’s reply was immediate, and ten minutes later they were perched on a bench with an order of tteokbokki between them.   
  
“Did you hear the news yet?” Jinhwan asked him around a mouthful of food.   
  
“What news?” Bobby swallowed his down with a swig of Pepsi.   
  
“Did Hanbin really not text you about it?” Jinhwan replied, teasing on purpose.   
  
Bobby glared at him. “Unlike Junhoe, Hanbin is serious about his education, he’s probably focusing on school.” He hadn’t meant to throw Junhoe under the bus like that, but Jinhwan’s teasing question had him feeling touchy. If there was some kind of news, why hadn’t Hanbin told him about it?   
  
Jinhwan just grinned back and made him wait while he swallowed another bite. “You remember that Taeyong guy from basketball that Hanbin hates?”   
  
Lee Taeyong. Of course Bobby knew him. Didn’t really like him either. While he’d never had the same rivalry, Taeyong had always struck him as a judgemental, entitled rich brat. “What about him?”   
  
Jinhwan made him wait a few seconds more, until he could tell that Bobby was about to yell at him. “He transferred to Whimoon.”   
  
Bobby’s face fell in shock. He what?   
  
“Junhoe said that Hanbin’s been freaking out about it all day, he can’t focus in any of his classes. I knew they had a rivalry, but for Hanbin to be so affected, that’s pretty wild.” Jinhwan had felt bad for him at first, but at the same time Junhoe was so amused by it, so he knew it couldn’t be that terrible.   
  
Bobby still had no response. Why would Taeyong have transferred schools in his last year? It just didn’t make any sense. His heart ached for Hanbin though—he could understand why it would bother him so much. They had a rivalry, sure, but Taeyong had also caused him an injury two seasons ago, and Bobby knew that Hanbin had a hard time forgetting that.   
  
Jinhwan took Bobby’s shock as an opportunity to finish off the tteokbeokki. “Don’t baby him about this, Bobby. Tell him to suck it up and be the alpha male, he can’t let Taeyong distract him like this, it’ll look bad.”   
  
Jinhwan’s teasing words finally broke Bobby out of his stupor. “What, you mean he needs to be like you with Junhoe at first?”   
  
“Exactly! Look where it landed me.” He winked at Bobby before stealing his Pepsi.   
  
Bobby frowned at him. “Well you’re a terrible example because I don’t really want him to end up dating Taeyong!”   
  
“Maybe Taeyong views him as a rival because he’s a repressed gay. He sees Hanbin all out and happy, and now he’s on a mission to destroy him.” Jinhwan teased further, and Bobby finally grinned back at him.   
  
“He fucking better not be on any mission. But really though, who the hell transfers schools in their last year? Did his family move? I thought his dad owned a business out in his district.”   
  
“Who knows, weird too that he’s at Whimoon. Maybe his dad wanted him to be on a winning team in his last year?”   
  
“Maybe.” Bobby hoped it would all go well, but he didn’t see how that was possible. Hanbin really didn’t like Taeyong (Bobby didn’t want to use the word hate, but Hanbin had been downright vitriolic about Taeyong in the past, and it was concerning). He’d have to talk to him about it and make sure he didn’t do anything out of line.   
  
They spent the rest of their little mid-afternoon break sitting by the river, talking about their upcoming triple date with Donghyuk and Yunhyeong. It was nice to have other couples to go out with, it made Bobby feel like he wasn’t missing out on anything in life. But then it was time to head back to work, both he and Jinhwan, who had a jiu jitsu class to teach.   
  
On his way back Bobby texted Hanbin, just to let him know that he knew about Taeyong. And to remind him to be a good captain. He didn’t want to lecture him, but he was worried.   
  
But Hanbin’s response alleviated his concerns, for now at least.   
  
H:  _ hey hyung, sorry for not texting til now _ _  
_ _ H: just stuck on this whole thing _ _  
_ _ H: but youre right im gonna try and be nice to him  
_ _ H: ill tell you more later, kk?  
_ _ H: i miss you too :) _   
  
Bobby couldn’t stop smiling all the way back into work. Things were good. He and Hanbin were good. He might not have his life figured out yet, but his heart was happy, and that was the most important thing.


	2. 400 Lux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A triple date in the dark, while Woosung takes a leap of faith with Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I forgot to mention last time: Since this is set in February, Jinhwan won't be leaving for California for a few months, probably not until chapter 19 or 20. So the JunHwan separation storyline isn't happening for a while. Just thought I'd mention that since it is a big part of the story. :)

 

> _"We're never done with killing time, can I kill it with you, til the veins run red and blue_  
>  _We come around here all the time, got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you"_  
>                                                                                      "[400 Lux](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u4eYlZNh9Q)" Lorde  
> 

* * *

“I feel so underdressed,” Bobby complained, eyes roaming around the bar area. The six of them were out at a restaurant on a triple date, some place Yunhyeong had suggested and Hanbin had latched onto. The concept was eating in complete darkness.  
  
“You’re not, hyung,” Donghyuk replied, “we’re eating in the dark, you won’t be able to see anything. You might spill food all over yourself.”   
  
“Yeah well that’s what I thought,” Bobby said, “so tell me why half of the people here are dressed nicely?”   
  
“Because they’re idiots,” Junhoe cut in, “probably trying to impress whoever they’re here with. You could wear a potato sack and Hanbin would still fawn all over you, so you’re fine.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and slung an arm around Bobby’s waist, leaning against him. “I want to be offended by that comment, but honestly it’s true.”   
  
Bobby turned his head and smiled at him. “I like potatoes. Maybe I’ll test that theory.”   
  
Jinhwan poked him. “I’ll remember that. I’m sending you a potato sack for Christmas this year, don’t be disappointed.” They all continued joking back and forth, but the only person who wasn’t joining in was Yunhyeong, who instead wore a frown as he watched them.   
  
Donghyuk noticed his boyfriend’s glum expression. “What’s wrong hyung? Are we embarrassing you?” He asked teasingly.   
  
Yunhyeong shook his head. “No. I’m just bothered because Junhoe called me an idiot.” They all shared confused looks for a moment until realizing what he was talking about. Out of the six of them, Yunhyeong was the only one who’d dressed nicely.   
  
“I meant what I said!” Junhoe replied. “We don’t even know what we’re eating! Why would you wear something nice here? What if you drop food on your shirt and you don’t even know until you leave? You’ll look stupid.”   
  
“It would be better if he didn’t know until after the meal,” Donghyuk cut in, “otherwise he’d be obsessing all through the meal about the shirt getting stained.”   
  
“I’m just trying to look nice for you!” Yunhyeong replied with a pout, which earned him a hug from Donghyuk and a few whispered compliments.   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “You’re still an idiot.”   
  
Their discussion was interrupted then by their waitress, who met them wearing night vision goggles. She had them arrange themselves in a line based on who would be sitting next to each other around the table, then led them into the darkness.   
  
The pitch black hit them like a wave, stifling conversation. Everyone’s fingers tightened on the arm they were holding, subconsciously afraid of getting separated here where they couldn’t see anything. Bobby was the first behind their waitress and he walked with his hand on her shoulder, trying to fight off the urge to bolt back the way he’d come. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the dark. Not at all. It was just uncomfortable.   
  
She sat him down first, and then the others around the table (Hanbin beside Bobby, Donghyuk next to Hanbin, then Yunhyeong, Junhoe, and finally Jinhwan, who was back on Bobby’s other side).   
  
“While you’re here for the duration of your meal, please remember to keep any light emitting devices turned off. So no checking your phones! I will come around periodically to check on you if you need anything. I’ll be back with your drinks in a moment, and your food will be out shortly after that. If you need anything please call for me, my name is Chaeyeon.”   
  
Then she left and they were alone at their table in a room full of people they couldn’t see. They all started giggling nervously at the same time.   
  
“I can’t eat like this, what am I going to do?” Yunhyeong whined.   
  
“Ah hyung, this was your idea!” Donghyuk replied, reaching out to grab Yunhyeong’s hand.   
  
“Yeah, you have no one to blame but yourself!” Jinhwan replied, feeling comfortable in the darkness. Normally he wasn’t a fan of being in the dark, but they were at a restaurant, so it alleviated the usual fear that came with it.   
  
“This is so cool, I’m happy we came!” Hanbin commented, head swivelling left and right even though he couldn’t see anything. Like Jinhwan, he didn’t care for the dark either, but this was different. He’d been intrigued the second Donghyuk had mentioned it, that Yunhyeong had suggested this for a date. Hanbin had proposed it as a group date, and they’d all agreed to varying levels of enthusiasm.   
  
“I wonder what we’re going to be eating, I’m starving.” Bobby said, his fingers exploring around the table. He’d found his cutlery and napkin, and hurriedly tucked the napkin into his shirt.   
  
“Shouldn’t we be able to smell what other people are eating? You know since we can’t see, isn’t our sense of smell supposed to be better?” Junhoe asked.   
  
“We’d probably be able to smell everything if it wasn’t for your cologne.” Donghyuk chided, and they all laughed.   
  
“I’m sorry I like to smell nice?” Junhoe replied, and it felt weird to be having a conversation with someone when you couldn’t see them.   
  
“Apology accepted,” Donghyuk teased.   
  
“He needs the cologne,” Jinhwan cut in, “trust me I’ve smelled him without it.”   
  
“Excuse me?” Junhoe replied, voice tinged with insult. He turned towards Jinhwan even though he couldn’t see him.   
  
“It’s true, it’s his feet,” Hanbin added, grinning when he heard Junhoe’s huff of irritation from across the table.   
  
“My feet do not smell!” Junhoe replied, jumping when he felt a hand touch his arm.   
  
It was just Yunhyeong, gently patting him. “It’s okay, Junhoe-ya. You’re a young man and your body is going through a lot of confusing changes.”   
  
The table exploded into laughter again, even Junhoe couldn’t resist. A minute later and Chaeyeon was back with their drinks, and they were quiet until she left again.   
  
“So Hanbin, tell us about Taeyong! Have you had any encounters yet?” Jinhwan asked, eager to hear about it from Hanbin’s own mouth. Junhoe had filled him in about the first week, and in his opinion the whole situation was hilarious.   
  
“Here I thought we might have a nice meal,” Donghyuk replied jokingly.   
  
“I don’t know what to do with him!” Hanbin exclaimed, sitting back in his chair and playing with the rip in his jeans. “Every time I see him it’s nothing but death glares. Thankfully we only have chemistry class together, but he sits as far away from me as possible.”   
  
“Do you know why he’s at your school?” Yunhyeong asked.   
  
“No idea. I can’t really approach him to ask, and it would just be awkward anyway.”   
  
“You should just ask Woosung, they seem to be getting on quite well.” Junhoe suggested teasingly. He’d adjusted well to the darkness, sitting comfortably back in his chair, one hand brushing the soft hairs on the nape of Jinhwan’s neck.    
  
“Can we not talk about that?” Hanbin replied, grumpy that he’d brought it up. He still felt conflicted over the whole situation.   
  
“What, your ex Woosung?” Bobby asked, turning towards Hanbin even though he couldn’t see him. He reached out for Hanbin’s leg, his hand finding Hanbin’s and closing over it.   
  
“Yeah, that Woosung. They’re in home room together, and they always sit together at lunch. It just feels weird, seeing them together.” He didn’t want to say that it felt like Woosung was betraying him, because what was there to betray, really? They rarely talked anymore.   
  
“Oh wow, your ex and your enemy!” Yunhyeong exclaimed. “It’s like a drama.”   
  
“Yeah well I don’t want drama in my final year, I have too much at stake.” Hanbin frowned and squeezed Bobby’s hand.   
  
“I’m all for the drama,” Junhoe interrupted, grinning to himself when he pictured the glare Hanbin was likely throwing his way at the moment.   
  
“Just you wait until things get ugly,” Jinhwan replied, “then you’re going to have to deal with angry Hanbin.” Jinhwan was enjoying Junhoe’s neck rub, his eyes closed.   
  
“Yeah, it’ll be karma for being so against me and Bobby at first!” Hanbin replied.   
  
“It’s okay, I have Donghyuk now, I’ll just ignore you.” Junhoe replied.   
  
“I’m sorry, who is Donghyuk sitting next to right now? It’s not you! He’s already picked his side.” Hanbin tried to pat Donghyuk on the back but instead accidently hit him in the head.   
  
“Ah! Hanbin! Watch your hands.” Donghyuk laughed and jokingly punched him in the arm.   
  
“See! Donghyuk you picked wrong, obviously.” Junhoe gleefully teased.   
  
“He’s fine where he is,” Yunhyeong piped up, “I don’t want him sitting next to you.”   
  
“Excuse me?!” Junhoe smacked Yunhyeong’s arm, only to get a pinch on his other side from Jinhwan.   
  
“Ya, Junhoe! Respect your elders!” Jinhwan teased, not even needing to see him to know what he’d done.   
  
While the bickering continued Bobby leaned closer to Hanbin, laying his chin against Hanbin’s shoulder. Being in the dark definitely had its perks in public, and even though the darkness was weird, it was also a little relaxing now that they were seated and joking around. He sensed movement next to him though, sitting up with a jolt of surprise.   
  
“Hello group!” Chaeyeon greeted them. “If everyone could keep their arms off the table for a moment, I’ll set out your first course. Would you like to know what you’re eating?”   
  
“NO!” Yunhyeong shouted before anyone could say anything. “We have to guess what we’re eating, it’s part of the experience.”   
  
“Ugh, that’s so lame,” Junhoe replied, mostly just to tease Yunhyeong.   
  
“Junhoe-ya, I already warned you about being respectful!” Jinhwan replied, gleefully flicking him in the ear, grinning when Junhoe hissed. “Be polite!”   
  
Junhoe rubbed his ear. “You’re very abusive for being so small.”   
  
“Can we please have one nice meal together?” Donghyuk whined, “no bickering.”   
  
“If we wanted a nice meal we should have gone somewhere where we can see,” Junhoe replied, “you know this is going to be a mess.”   
  
“I apologize for his comments, Chaeyeon-sshi, he doesn’t mean them rudely.” Yunhyeong said, wondering where she was standing.   
  
“Oh no insult taken,” she replied, “he does have a point, after all. It is going to be a mess.” She set the dish down in the middle of the table. “I’ll be back shortly to check on you and bring your main course! Please enjoy the surprise!”   
  
The moment she was gone it was mayhem. Everyone reached for the plate in the middle at the same time, a mess of six sets of chopsticks scrabbling to find food in the dark.   
  
“Oh god, how do we do this?” Yunhyeong groaned. “I didn’t think they’d give us sharing plates! Everyone be careful, let’s not knock anything over!”   
  
“Calm down mom, we’ll be fine!” Jinhwan teased, in the process of pulling some of the food onto his plate. It was some type of noodle, that was the only thing he knew for sure.   
  
“Ooh, I think it’s car—” Donghyuk started, before being shushed by his boyfriend.   
  
“SHH! Wait until everyone gets a chance to taste it!” Yunhyeong didn’t mean to be so bossy, but he wanted the full experience. He was also having trouble getting some of the dish onto his own plate.   
  
“Mm, carpet, my favourite!” Junhoe teased, running with Donghyuk’s near-spoiler.   
  
“I love the taste of carbon emissions!” Hanbin joined in, and Donghyuk snorted next to him.   
  
“Guys, be nice,” Donghyuk tried to say through barely-controlled laughter, “you’re ruining it for Yunhyeong.”   
  
Yunhyeong sighed in exasperation, finally getting a taste of the meal. “Oh fine, I think we’ve all tasted it by now?” He chewed and swallowed his bite. “Carbonara?”   
  
“It’s actually really good, I wasn’t expecting the food to be this tasty.” Jinhwan reached out for more, knocking into Bobby’s hand.   
  
“Ah hyung, I got some sauce on my cheek!” Donghyuk whined in Yunhyeong’s direction, wondering if he’d take the bait.   
  
“Oh no, where?” Yunhyeong asked, turning to face him.   
  
Donghyuk grinned, feeling dorky for doing it but the darkness emboldened him. “Bottom of my right cheek,” he said, his heart racing just a bit faster when he felt Donghyuk’s fingers lightly touch his chin. His hopes deflated a second later when he felt a napkin wiping his cheek. That wasn’t what he’d been hoping for.   
  
Hanbin heard the defeated sigh next to him and tried to suppress a laugh. “He wiped it with a napkin, didn’t he?”   
  
“Wow, hyung, stooping to new levels of lameness!” Junhoe teased, laughing when Yunhyeong let out an annoyed whine.   
  
“What was I supposed to do?!” He replied, irritated that they were ganging up on him (and that he kept walking into the teasing).   
  
“Lick it off,” Jinhwan replied, reaching out to touch Junhoe’s face. He’d been hoping to go for a more sultry stroke of the cheek, but had instead ended up poking him in the eye.   
  
“We’re in public, Jinhwan, I can’t do that!” Yunhyeong replied, scandalized tone of voice.   
  
“No one can see you!” Jinhwan replied back.   
  
“You got that right, hyung,” Junhoe replied, annoyed and rubbing his eye.   
  
“I can see you.”   
  
They all jumped at the sudden return of their waitress, who’d snuck up quietly and was now laughing at them.   
  
“Oh, I’m sorry, we didn’t mean any disrespect!” Yunhyeong replied, awkwardly trying to bow in her direction (though he wasn’t entirely sure where she was standing).   
  
“I hope you’ve been enjoying the show, noona!” Jinhwan replied, unable to help himself.   
  
“Jinhwan!” Yunhyeong yelled, scandalized again.   
  
But she giggled at them, clearly amused. “Oh don’t apologize, you’re a fun table! I just came by to see if you’re ready for the next dish?”   
  
“Yes please! The carbonara was delicious!” Donghyuk piped up, laying a hand on Yunhyeong’s arm.   
  
“Excellent! I’ll take this away then, and be right back with your main course.” She removed the pasta dish and retreated back to the kitchen, leaving them alone again.   
  
“Bobby, why are you so quiet?” Jinhwan asked, reaching out for his best friend’s arm.   
  
“Probably stuffing his face,” Hanbin replied, reached out to poke Bobby’s cheek, which was indeed bulged out with food. “Yep, stuffing his face!”   
  
Jinhwan sighed and shook his head, while Bobby chewed and swallowed the last of his food. “I was hungry!”   
  
“Remember we all have to share, okay? Don’t hog it all.” Jinhwan chided him, and a moment later Chaeyeon was back.   
  
“Be careful with this one, the food is hot! Does anyone need anything before I go?”   
  
“Yes, can you please stand here and watch this one to make sure he doesn’t eat everything?” Jinhwan teased, pointing at Bobby.   
  
“You better not be pointing at me!” Bobby replied.   
  
“Ah, that’s the first rule of dining in the dark,” Chaeyeon replied, “it’s every man for himself!”   
  
“See! It’s survival of the hungriest, and that’s still me!” Bobby replied gleefully, reaching out to grab whatever was on the platter. What he picked up was something cubed, and when he brought it closer to his mouth he could smell it.   
  
“Steak!”   
  
“Bobby!” Yunhyeong yelled, annoyed at being spoiled again.   
  
“Sorry, I just didn’t think we’d get steak.” He chewed the meat happily, pleased with the meal. He reached out to collect more cubes of meat while the pile was large enough to easily find them. He reached out and slid his hand up Hanbin’s arm until his fingers were on his neck.   
  
“Bin-ah, let me feed you.” Bobby picked up another piece of meat, holding it with his chopsticks and bringing it closer to Hanbin’s mouth. It was more difficult than he’d anticipated, and the first time he stabbed the meat into Hanbin’s cheek. It was an overall giggly affair, and eventually Hanbin grabbed his hand to guide it to his mouth.   
  
“Hyung,” Donghyuk whined, turning to Yunhyeong, “feed me too please!”   
  
“Okay, hold on,” Yunhyeong replied, reaching for some meat. When he’d heard Bobby offering to Hanbin, he’d wanted to do the same, but he felt embarrassed about doing something so cute. But it’s not like he’d never fed friends before, and just because he and Donghyuk were dating now, it didn’t make innocent things like this into something more risque.   
  
“I suppose you want to be fed too?” Jinhwan asked Junhoe, who’d been busy trying to stuff his own mouth.   
  
“I guess so, it’s what couples do, right?” Junhoe replied teasingly, waiting patiently.   
  
Jinhwan grinned to himself, picking up a piece of steak and putting it in his own mouth before pushing the empty chopsticks towards Junhoe’s face. “Open wide!” He did a fairly decent job of getting the chopsticks to the right place, but of course they were empty. Not that he was going to act like he knew that.   
  
“Ah, it must have fallen off, hyung, there’s nothing there!” Junhoe replied after biting down on empty chopsticks.   
  
“Oh shit, let me try again!” Jinhwan picked up another piece and put it in his own mouth before poking empty chopsticks back at Junhoe.   
  
“Hyung, are you doing this on purpose?” Junhoe asked, not putting it past Jinhwan.   
  
“Hm? Me?” Jinhwan replied, his words muffled around the steak he was still chewing.   
  
“I knew it!” Junhoe laughed, reaching out to pinch Jinhwan’s cheek. “Some boyfriend you are.”   
  
“Hey, survival of the hungriest, remember?” Jinhwan replied, before reaching for more steak.   
  
Once he’d eaten his fill Hanbin leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Bobby’s cheek before carefully sliding down underneath the table. He was sure that Junhoe’s chair was directly across from his own and he’d decided it was time for a bit of fun. He crawled slowly, mindful of the feet around him. He didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing.   
  
He could hear happy chatter above him and he reached a hand up, finding a leg that he was sure belonged the Junhoe. He crept his fingers up the fabric slowly, touching his inner thigh lightly. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing when—   
  
“AH! Dongie, what are you doing!? We’re eating dinner!”   
  
Hanbin froze—had he just groped Yunhyeong by mistake?!   
  
“Huh? I’m not doing anything, hyung.” Donghyuk’s reply was confused, and Hanbin hoped he wasn’t about to get a kick in the face.   
  
“Well if that wasn’t your hand then whose was it? Junhoe?!” Yunhyeong replied, turning towards Junhoe.   
  
“Uh, no offense hyung, but you’re really not my type. I’m not touching you.” Junhoe replied, amused and wondering what was going on.   
  
“Well  _someone_  just grabbed me inappropriately and I’d like to know who!” Yunhyeong blurted out, his face red with embarrassment.   
  
“It was me,” Hanbin said from below the table, “I thought you were Junhoe!”   
  
“Kim Hanbin! Get out from under the table!” Yunhyeong scolded, feeling even more embarrassed. Maybe he’d overreacted a little. Maybe he shouldn’t have yelled. Still… He lightly kicked at Hanbin, grinning when he felt his foot connect with a body.   
  
“Ow! Hyung, don’t kick me!” Hanbin replied, laughing.   
  
“Keep your hands on your own boyfriend, Hanbin!” Donghyuk teased before kicking him as well just for fun.   
  
“Oh god, I’m so sorry to everyone else in here, I promise nothing bad is going on at our table!” The rest of the room laughed at Yunhyeong’s whining apology, while a few people yelled out that no one was really having an innocent time.   
  
Hanbin was finally back up in his seat, grinning widely. “Ah hyung honestly, I’m sorry, I really was trying to get Junhoe and not you.”   
  
“Hanbin,” Jinhwan called, “where are you?”   
  
“Back in my chair, hyung,” Hanbin replied.   
  
“Give me your hand!” Jinhwan demanded, and after a bit of fumbling around they finally touched, only for Jinhwan to playfully slap the back of Hanbin’s hand. “Behave! Keep your hands to yourself.”   
  
“Or to me, you can put them on me.” Bobby replied.   
  
“Fine, keep your hands to yourself or to your boyfriend.”   
  
“Fine.” Hanbin replied, grinning when he felt Bobby’s arm slip around his shoulders.   
  
Miraculously they weren’t asked to leave, and instead agreed to dessert.   


* * *

  
“Father Choi called me, asking me why you weren’t at the study group yesterday.”

Study group was a less controversial term for it. Taeyong preferred to call it what it was— _conversion therapy._

“I had basketball practice.” A half lie. He had been playing basketball, but it wasn’t any sort of official practice. Just a practice before the trial. Which was bullshit, really. He was one of the best players in the league and he was going to have to try out for the team? Not that he was eager to play with his rival. But still.

“You didn’t tell me about that.”

Taeyong tensed at her tone of voice. While his grandmother had always been the nicest person in his family, he knew that she was putting herself out on a limb for him. He couldn’t afford to take advantage of her leniency lest she crack down hard on him. “Sorry, guess it slipped my mind.”

She smiled back at him, reaching out to pat his hand. “Well, I suppose that’s a valid excuse. But you’ll go to the session tomorrow, alright? He’s expecting you.”

Taeyong nodded even though he had no intention of going, he just needed another excuse. He’d have to go, eventually, but he wanted to prolong it if possible. He already hated himself enough as it was—he didn’t need the church shoving that self-hatred down his throat.

“How are your classes? Are you settling in alright, dear?”

“They’re fine.” As much as he hated going to Whimoon, his teachers all seemed to be great. Whimoon did have a slightly higher average percentile than his old school, at least. He would thrive more academically there.

“Are you making any friends?”

He stuffed a bite of food in his mood to put off answering her. He’d made exactly one friend so far (though that was mostly because he wasn’t trying). And the friendship really only happened because that guy was trying. Taeyong wasn’t making any effort.

“Yeah, of course.” No point in telling her the truth though.

“And what about that boy? Your rival?”

Kim Hanbin, she meant. Taeyong couldn’t help but glare at the thought of him. “He’s around. We haven’t fought each other yet so that’s a plus.”

“Taeyong-ah, you stay out of trouble at this school!”

He clenched his fingers around his fork in irritation. “I always do, grandma.”

“I’m sure if you try, you and this boy will get past your problems. There’s nothing that God can’t help you fix. Maybe you should talk to Father Choi about it, hm? Maybe you can say a prayer together.”

Taeyong wondered what she’d say if she knew that Hanbin was gay. Would that just upset her, the way it bothered his father?

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, I’ll talk to him about it.” He replied dryly, but she smiled like she thought he was telling the truth. Which made him feel bad, but it couldn’t be helped.

After her initial grilling period his grandmother dissolved into idle chatter about projects she was working on, like knitting hats for premature babies at the hospital. It was sweet old lady stuff, and as much as Taeyong loved his grandmother, he just wasn’t interested in listening, so he ate as quickly as possible and excused himself for some studying.

He flopped onto his bed and took out his phone, about to play a game for a bit until he noticed the message in his inbox. He opened it and saw who it was from and nearly felt like deleting it. It was from Daehee, and he just felt anxious. Talking to Daehee was nerve-wracking because he never knew which Daehee he’d get. Sometimes he got his old best friend who didn’t care about anything and they talked sports or music, but sometimes he’d get lecturing Daehee who asked him about church.

He wasn’t in the mood to hear about conversion therapy and its benefits, so he left the message unread. No sense in reading it if it was going to piss him off.

He grabbed his biology textbook, too annoyed to waste time on a game now. He started reading the newest chapter, and halfway through his phone lit up with another message—but it wasn’t from Daehee.

It was his newest friend. Woosung.

_W: u busy?  
_ _T: not really. u?  
_ _W: nah. wanna go shoot hoops or sumthin?  
_ _T: yeah cool, meet up near me?  
_ _W: kk see u in a bit_

He left his textbook open on the current page and slid off his bed, grabbing a hoodie from his closet and pulling it on. He paused to tell his grandmother he was going out, giving her a kiss to keep her from getting nosy.

He met Woosung at the park near his building, happy to get out from the apartment. He watched Woosung shooting three pointers as he approached, grinning when not a single one of them went in. He’d told Woosung that he was planning on trying out for the basketball team.

“Hey bro!” Woosung called out, and Taeyong was suddenly reminded of Daehee. It was bittersweet (emphasis on the bitter).

“You can’t throw three pointers for shit,” Taeyong greeted, grinning when Woosung frowned at him.

“Yeah fuck off, we all have to start somewhere, right?” Woosung tossed him the ball and Taeyong dribbled it around him on his way up to the basket, jumping up high and dunking it through the net.

“You were saying?” Taeyong replied, grinning at him before retrieving the ball.

“I wish try outs weren’t in two days,” Woosung said.

“Why’s that?” Taeyong asked, passing him the ball.

“Because you’re gonna kick my ass tonight and I won’t be able to retaliate without hurting you.” Woosung winked at him.

Taeyong grinned. “I’ll try and go easy on you, okay?”

“That’s what they all say,” Woosung replied, before trying to dribble around Taeyong. But Taeyong easily got the ball from him and sank another basket.

“Maybe I should play one handed, that might even the odds a little.”

“Play with your bad hand,” Woosung suggested.

“I don’t have one!” Taeyong replied cheekily, dribbling around him again.

“You will in about two minutes’ time!” Woosung teasingly threatened. They settled into a comfortable little game, and Woosung was actually a little better than Taeyong had expected. Nowhere near his level, of course, but not terrible.

After half an hour they sat down for a break.

“So I have to admit something to you, and I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

Taeyong fixed him with a curious expression. “That doesn’t sound promising.”

Woosung grinned at him. “I haven’t said anything until now because I wasn’t sure if you even knew who I was at the time. But I knew who you were as soon as I saw you.”

“How so? From basketball?”

Woosung nodded. “Yeah, with that silver hair you’re pretty recognizable in the league.”

Taeyong didn’t mind hearing that. “Yeah, I like being a little flashy.”

“I didn’t know you just from seeing you play, though,” Woosung elaborated, wondering how he was going to take it.

“How else do you know me?” Taeyong asked, curious. He hadn’t known who Woosung was when they’d first met, had just assumed he was a friendly guy who liked to get to know new students.

“Well, there’s no easy way to tell you this so I’ll just say it. I used to date your league rival.”

Taeyong’s face lost all its colour and he didn’t move for a few seconds. “Hanbin?”

Woosung nodded. “Yeah. I dated Hanbin for a few months the year before last. Near the finals when you uh, when you had that collision with him.”

Taeyong nodded but had pinched features. “You here talking to me because of him?” Taeyong didn’t want to jump to conclusions but he couldn’t help it.

“No!” Woosung was quick to reply. “Hanbin and I don’t really talk much anymore, his choice. But when I saw you, I couldn’t believe you were here, it seemed so weird.”

Taeyong nodded. “It’s definitely weird.”

“I was curious when I saw you, why did you move in your last year?” The question had been eating at Woosung ever since he’d first seen Taeyong in his class, and he hoped he’d get an answer instead of vague evasion.

“Personal reasons,” Taeyong replied, wondering how long he’d be able to get away with that answer before being pressured for more details.

“How personal? Because I can imagine you’d want to finish the season with your own team, right? So how come you swapped?”

Taeyong didn’t want to rehash it, but at the same time… Woosung was gay. How he’d managed to befriend a fucking gay guy without realizing it… Maybe it was a sign that he was meant to be at Whimoon. Meant to be with  _his kind_.

“It’s personal, like I said, long story short is that my dad’s an asshole so he kicked me out, and now I’m living with my grandmother.”

“Your dad kicked you out?” Woosung repeated in stunned surprise. What had Taeyong done to get that kind of treatment?

“Yeah, he’s always been an asshole though so it’s no loss. Just sucks that it had to happen this year.” He was still debating what he should say. He didn’t have anyone who was gay in his life (not anymore). Not that he really wanted to announce that he was gay, but still… He had an important decision to make right now about that. Should he tell Woosung? Especially knowing that he’d dated his arch rival.

Best to wait. Test the waters a bit more and make sure they weren’t still friends.

“Shit, that fucking sucks. How’s your grandma? You get along with her?”

“Yeah, she’s nice enough, but you know. Old people have their quirks.” He didn’t want to speak poorly of his grandmother, but he missed certain aspects of living at home.

Woosung frowned, feeling sorry for asking about it. “True. I’m sorry about your dad.”

Taeyong shrugged, hoping he was playing it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “It happened, I’m just dealing with it.”

“Do you think he’ll ever change his mind?” Woosung was dying to know why, but his friendship was still new, so he wasn’t sure if he ought to be testing boundaries so early.

Taeyong shook his head. His father most definitely would not change his mind, but it was hard to explain that without explaining his reasons in the first place. Woosung was thankfully not pressing. “Who knows, maybe one day. He’s pretty stubborn though, and I’m pretty stubborn too, so maybe it won’t ever get fixed.”

Woosung chewed his lip for a second and Taeyong could tell that he wanted to ask. But in the end he didn’t, like he thought that maybe it would score him bonus points for not being overbearing. “Well, whatever the reason is, you’re here and we’re friends so no big deal about anything else.”

Taeyong nodded and hoped he meant it. “Yeah sure no big deal.”

They went back to playing basketball and nothing more was said on the topic.


	3. Never Be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong and Hanbin have their first encounter at basketball team tryouts, Hanbin and Donghyuk do a bit of boxing training, and Jinhwan shares some good news with Junhoe.

>    _"Bring me down, tear me up, take my very last buck  
>  __Go to class, kiss my ass, it'll bring you good luck"  
>                                              "_[Never Be Yours](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9aqYvzqrnI)" Kali Uchis

* * *

“With all due respect, I think it’s ridiculous that I have to try out for this team. You know me, you’ve seen me play for the past few years. I should automatically be on the team.”  
  
The complaint was met with a hardened expression. “No disrespect intended, Taeyong, but try outs are for every member of the team, including those on the previous year’s squad. No one is exempt.”  
  
Taeyong crossed his arms, trying not to glare. “No one except Kim Hanbin, you mean.”  
  
“Yes, everyone except Hanbin, but that would be due to his position as captain. He will be running the try outs with me.”  
  
Taeyong shook his head, fingers digging into his arms. This was so embarrassing. “You know I’m just as good as he is, I don’t think I should be held to different standards.”  
  
Kim Jong Kook, Whimoon’s basketball coach, sighed in exasperation. “I understand you’re in a difficult place, relocating in your last year. I assume you would have been named captain had you remained at your previous school. But you have changed, so unfortunately I have to treat you the same as everyone else. How would it be fair if you came in from outside and automatically had a spot? That’s not fair to the others who’ve been on this team from the beginning.”  
  
Taeyong was in a bad mood, though, and was more than willing to test his new coach’s limits today. “Then why doesn’t Hanbin also have to participate in the try outs? Why does he automatically get on, and why is he automatically captain? That’s not fair.”  
  
Jong Kook was silent for a moment before answering. “Are you trying to say that you wish to challenge for the position of captain?”  
  
Taeyong had to bite his cheek to keep from saying yes. “I’m saying he’s not better than me.”  
  
“Everyone on this team knows that the two of you were rivals. I know this puts you in a difficult position, but the team respects Hanbin and they like him. You’re the one who’s going to have to work to be accepted. That’s just the way it is, surely you understand that.”  
  
Taeyong narrowed his eyes and tightened his fingers again. “If that’s your final word I guess I have no choice but to accept it.”  
  
“Taeyong, I mean it when I say that I understand how difficult this must be for you. But you won’t accomplish anything by being closed off. You have to open yourself up to the others and give them a chance to accept you into the team.”  
  
Taeyong frowned and shook his head. “They’ll accept me, because they won’t have a choice. Too many of your standout players graduated last year, so you need to replace them.”  
  
“And they’ll be replaced, but if you have any interest in being a replacement, you will have to attend the try out. End of discussion.” Jong Kook almost couldn’t believe this kid’s nerve.  He knew the talent was there, but this attitude might just get in the way.  
  
Taeyong forced himself to bow to the coach before leaving his office. It was bullshit, this whole thing. Maybe if he just confronted Hanbin directly he’d get more accomplished. Challenge him outright. It would be good to see how he’d react, at least.  
  
He walked over to where Hanbin was standing, already changed into his training gear despite not actually having to try out himself. It made him seethe in anger. It was a complete double standard. Hanbin looked up just as he approached and Taeyong felt placated by the momentary flash of panic in Hanbin’s eyes.  
  
Good. He should be wary. He should feel afraid.  
  
“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Taeyong started his greeting, “I think it’s bullshit that I have to try out for this team. You personally know how good I am, you know that you need me.”  
  
Despite knowing exactly what was coming, Hanbin couldn’t help but let it affect him anyway. Even the memory of Taeyong and his father wasn’t enough to overcome the years of bitter rivalry between them. “You’re right, I do know how good you are. Good enough to come second to me every year we’ve been playing.” It was the wrong thing to say, he knew it. Despite his intentions of extending a hand in peace, the rivalry was so ingrained in him that he couldn’t help it.  
  
Taeyong’s eyes narrowed at the response. “You only beat me because your team was better.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Even when you injured me and I missed a game, but _still_ beat you in the end? Okay.” He knew he needed to stop the jab contest before it went any further, but the ire in Taeyong’s voice kept setting him off.  
  
“I know this is your team, they all respect you, and they probably hate me because you hate me, but I think you should set an example for everyone.”  
  
Hanbin’s fingers clutched at his clipboard tightly in an attempt to keep his own temper in check. “Do you, now? By doing what, exactly?”  
  
“Make me your co-captain.” The idea had come to Taeyong quickly, and he was determined to see it through. It was the only way he was going to be able to accept playing with him.  
  
Hanbin was surprised at the request, and he kept quiet for a moment. Co-captain? Taeyong wanted to be his co-captain? Hanbin wanted to laugh in his face, but he managed to keep himself together. “No.”  
  
“You can’t just dismiss me like that,” Taeyong fired back, “you know I’m in a different league than everyone else today. You can’t just expect me to start over here with nothing.”  
  
“You’re the one who decided to switch schools and invade mine,” Hanbin retorted, “anywhere else in the city, and you pick _my_ school? And then come in here expecting me to share leadership with you? Are you insane? No. The answer is no. You can try out like everyone else, and if I think you’re good enough, then you’ll get your spot.”  
  
The automatic dismissal had his blood boiling. “You really expect me to try out with these losers? And embarrass them all today?”  
  
“Seconds ago you say you want to be co-captain, and now you call them losers? No matter how good you are, if you have a shit attitude then you can kiss your chances of getting on _my team_ goodbye.” Hanbin stood his ground and glared at Taeyong, who glared right back. A few guys came out of the changing room and grabbed some balls, starting to warm up. Hanbin was grateful to them because it reminded him of where he was and how he should be acting.  
  
“I suggest you go and get changed. And then get ready to run your ass off. I have nothing else to say to you.” He turned his back and walked away, heading for the coach’s office.  
  
Taeyong watched him go with a growing sense of anger before turning away and heading to the locker room. There were a few guys in there, some of whom he recognized, and for a moment he stood there in the middle of the room staring them down.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
Taeyong looked around for the speaker and saw a guy he recognized from the team, someone in his year but not in any of his classes.  
  
“I’m getting changed, dumbass.” Taeyong turned to one of the benches and dropped his bag there, ignoring the outraged response at his back.  
  
“Knock it off, Dongyeol. I told you guys he’d probably show up here, so there’s no need to act surprised or offended. He’s at our school now, so he’s welcome to try out for the team.”  
  
Taeyong could sense someone standing behind him and he was tempted to ignore the attempt at neutrality. But curiosity got the better of him and he turned around just to see who it was. He recognized the guy, one of the better players on the team, but couldn’t quite remember his name. He just knew him as _Number 5._  
  
“Jeon Wonwoo,” the guy offered, and Taeyong just stared back at him, “in case you don’t remember my name.”  
  
“I didn’t.” Taeyong turned back to his bag, not here for friendship. Maybe he should have accepted the olive branch from this guy, though, and maybe he would have, if he weren’t so pissed off at Hanbin brushing him off.  
  
Wonwoo sighed out loud and shook his head before stowing his bag in a locker. “Come on, Dongyeol, let’s go.” Wonwoo waited for the most volatile member of the team, not trusting him to stay alone in the room with Taeyong, especially not after his disrespectful greeting.  
  
It was just as well. Taeyong wasn’t in the mood to argue with everyone today. He just wanted to get changed and get this bullshit try out over with. He wanted to prove how utterly stupid it was that he had to be subjected to this crap like anyone else.  
  
No one else bothered to approach him, which was fine as far as he was concerned. He quietly got changed and didn’t waste any time in leaving, but as soon as he left the room he noticed Wonwoo over in the corner, talking to Hanbin.  
  
Was he complaining about him? Expecting Hanbin to come and give him a talking to? Well, Hanbin was welcome to try. Instead Taeyong grabbed a ball off the rack, dribbling it in a flashy manner before taking a long shot at the net—and sinking it. He grinned and looked around, pleased that Hanbin was watching him. Good. Let him watch.  
  
Taeyong shot a few more times before the coach called them in to begin the practice session in earnest, taking a few minutes first to explain what they’d be doing. Taeyong didn’t listen. His eyes were glued on Hanbin, who was watching from behind the coach, a stoic look on his face. Taeyong wanted to throw a ball at his head.

* * *

  
“I’m impressed with some of the younger guys, that Hyunsuk kid is good.”  
  
Hanbin nodded, having the same notes. “Yeah, he’s really fast and he’s got a good eye for plays. I think he’d do well as a small forward.”  
  
“Agreed. You know who impressed me a lot today, in terms of his pass accuracy?”  
  
Hanbin grinned, because there was only one answer to that question. “Wonwoo?”  
  
Coach Kim nodded, a little smile on his face. “He’s improved so much since last year, I’m tempted to try him in the point guard role, to be honest. I’ve been worried about who would be taking over from Yoongi this season, but Wonwoo really showed himself today.”  
  
“I’m so glad you said that. I was worried you were going to move me back.”  
  
“That’s still up for debate. I might have to move you back to shooting guard this year, what are your thoughts?”  
  
After practice Hanbin had been expecting this conversation. He’d really grown to love the point forward role last season, but he had to look at the overall structure of the team. There were really only two of them fully capable of performing as a starting line shooting guard. “That’s a possibility for sure. I think it’ll either have to be me or Taeyong taking that spot.”  
  
“Do you think you could play well on the same line?”  
  
Hanbin shrugged. “That remains to be seen. We’d be a deadly combo, the two of us together. It really all depends on his attitude, though. I’m a little worried after today.”  
  
“Me too, but I know he’s just hungry to prove himself after the move. It might take a while to get him in line.”  
  
Hanbin nodded, glad they were having this discussion so openly. “What do we do if he doesn’t get in line? What if he isn’t willing to accept that I have a position higher than him?”  
  
The coach shrugged. “Whatever we have to do, Hanbin. We need him, so hopefully if we give him a little more time to adjust, he’ll be okay. But you have to do your part. No instigating, no shit talking.”  
  
Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek, thinking back to their conversation before the try out session. “I know.”  
  
“Make sure you remember that. As captain, you are held to a higher standard when it comes to behaviour. If I catch you starting anything with Taeyong, I will think about stripping you of the captaincy. Am I understood?”  
  
Hanbin nodded, sufficiently cowed. It was almost like he knew about that pre-tryout conversation. “Understood. I promise I’ll do my best to be neutral with him.”  
  
“Good. I expect better from you, Hanbin. Don’t let me down.”

* * *

  
“Guess what he said to me at practice?”  
  
Donghyuk took a jab at Hanbin, hitting the pad hard. “What? This should be good.”  
  
Hanbin huffed out loud and moved his pads around to give Donghyuk different targets. “He said _make me your co-captain._ ”  
  
Donghyuk couldn’t help but laugh when he heard it. “He didn’t.”  
  
“He did, I swear. The fucking nerve.”  
  
Donghyuk hit a 3 punch combo, pushing Hanbin back into the ropes. “What an entitled brat.”  
  
“Right? Thinks he shouldn’t have to try out, then demands to be co-captain, _then_ he calls everyone else losers after I say no.”  
  
Donghyuk couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Are you serious?”  
  
“I wish I wasn’t! The worst part though is that we do need him on the team. I wish we didn’t, but we just don’t have enough guys who can shoot from long range.” Hanbin shook his head, still annoyed with the state of things. “Let’s swap for a bit? I want to hit something.”  
  
Donghyuk teasingly shook his head. “No way, not with you this mad over basketball! Calm down for another half hour first.”  
  
“I’m fine, swap with me.” Hanbin pulled the pads off his hands, dropping them at Donghyuk’s feet. “I promise I won’t hit you hard.”  
  
“Bullshit, Hanbin. You hit hard even when you’re not pissed off.” Donghyuk joked, but he held his hands out for Hanbin to start unlacing his gloves.  
  
“Well, I can’t help my power, I’m a strong person.” Hanbin grinned and unlaced the boxing gloves, pulling them off.  
  
“If you need to take a power shot just do me a favour and hit my left hand, okay? That way I can still write in school tomorrow.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll let you copy my notes if I break your hand.” Hanbin joked back.  
  
“Pointless offer. I can’t read your writing.” Donghyuk teased, before helping Hanbin into his own set of boxing gloves.  
  
“I’ll dictate for you then.” They went on for a bit until Hanbin was laced up and ready, and Donghyuk picked up the pads. They spent fifteen minutes practicing Hanbin’s jabs and punches. It wasn’t until they were done and Donghyuk was unlacing Hanbin’s gloves that he gave Hanbin an idea.  
  
“Have you tried talking to Woosung about Taeyong? We see them sitting together every day.”  
  
Hanbin frowned, still confused over his feelings about that. “Yeah, don’t remind me. It makes me nervous.”  
  
“Weren’t you dating Woosung when the worst stuff between you and Taeyong happened?”  
  
“Yeah, so the fact that he’s getting friendly with Taeyong now is precisely what worries me.”  
  
Donghyuk pulled off one of Hanbin’s gloves, leaving Hanbin to remove the other now that he had a hand free. “Talk to him, Hanbin! You said you guys had decided to stay friends, right? So you should try living up to that and acting like a friend.”  
  
Hanbin knew Donghyuk was right, but he still felt weird about it. “I know, it’s just awkward.”  
  
“Did it end bad between you two?”  
  
Hanbin shook his head, taking his other glove from Donghyuk. “Not terrible, like nothing bad happened. But enough changed for friendship to be a little weird.” At least it was for Hanbin. He wasn’t sure how Woosung had coped with it.  
  
“So find Woosung and ask him about Taeyong. What’s the worst that could happen?”  
  
Hanbin met his gaze and frowned. “He tells Taeyong I’m asking about him. He could also be telling Taeyong a ton of embarrassing stories about me.”  
  
Donghyuk grinned and picked up the blocking pads as they left the ring. “Does he have embarrassing stories about you?”  
  
“No, but they wouldn’t need to be true. I’m sure Taeyong would believe anything he hears about me.”  
  
“Okay but it’s better to ask and find out, right? Because maybe he hasn’t said anything.”  
  
Hanbin sighed, putting his gloves away in his bag. “Maybe Taeyong hasn’t told him anything either.”  
  
Donghyuk tossed the pads into the storage room before leaning against the wall. “Maybe not, but where’s the harm in checking?”  
  
“You’re right. I’ll talk to him.”

* * *

  
“So, I extended my flight out by another month.”  
  
The news came as a surprise to Junhoe, whose face lit up in a bright smile. “You did?”  
  
Jinhwan felt relieved at the smile. It’s not that he thought Junhoe wouldn’t be happy with the news, but their relationship was still a little on the confusing side to him. “Yeah, I mean the English course I want to take before the start of the semester doesn’t really start until then anyway, so I figured it was fine to move it. I want to stay as long as I can before I leave.”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe the good news. An entire extra month with Jinhwan, before they’d be broken up by half a globe. It was very welcome news. “I can’t believe you’re burdening me with a whole extra month before you go. You could have asked, first.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. Teasing always meant that Junhoe was trying to cover up how he was really feeling. “I know, how thoughtless of me, right?”  
  
Junhoe sighed and shook his head. “I should just break up with you now, save myself the trouble of having to look at your face every day.”  
  
“You think I’m going to spend every day of that extra month with you?” Jinhwan leaned in close to Junhoe, laying down next to him with his head on Junhoe’s chest. “What a waste of time that would be.”  
  
Junhoe abandoned his textbook, instead slinging that arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders. “I’m glad we’re on the same page, hyung.” He looked down at Jinhwan, who was grinning at him, before kissing him on the lips.  
  
“So have you found a place to stay yet, out in LA?” Junhoe had taken to casually asking about his plans, hoping it would help him normalize and get used to the idea that Jinhwan was leaving. It was better than never mentioning it, he thought.  
  
“Not yet, but there are a few people that Eric knows out there, and he’s trying to set me up with someone. One of his old friends has a cousin who’s going to be at UCLA for the year taking an acting class, so he’s hoping to set us up together if possible.” All he had so far to go on was a name—Kim Jinwoo.  
  
“That’s nice of him,” Junhoe said, “that’s cool that he’s helping you out.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t think any of it would be possible if it wasn’t for his help. I like the idea of actually knowing someone out there. Hopefully if I can stay with this guy, I can talk to him and get to know him first. It would be a huge help.”  
  
“Sure would.” Junhoe was happy to hear of progress, but at the same time it caused a minor jolt of pain in his chest. It was just one step closer to Jinhwan leaving. What was he going to do when he was gone? He didn’t like thinking about that.  
  
“You competing in that tournament in April? Youngbae agreed to let me enter, try to make up for my shitty first try at brown belt.” Jinhwan asked with a grin, amused when he remembered the difficult time he’d had at the last one. Back before he and Junhoe had gotten over their problems. It was so weird to think about how much things had changed in such a short period of time.  
  
“Yeah, just put my name in for it yesterday. Hoping I can finally win now that you’re out.” Junhoe joked back, but he did have high hopes for himself. He’d improved so much in his form over the past few months, and a lot of it was in thanks to training with Jinhwan.  
  
“You think you’re at my level already?” Jinhwan teased. “There are a lot of good guys at purple, shouldn’t be so dismissive.”  
  
“Is Eric bringing his little midget?” Junhoe asked, grinning when Jinhwan pinched him.  
  
“Haven’t you learned not to mock us shorter people?” He said, before moving up to straddle Junhoe in a mount position. “Do I need to teach you a lesson about respect?”  
  
Junhoe grinned at him. “You don’t scare me.”  
  
“I should,” Jinhwan replied, “I know just how to deal with you.” Without warning he reached his hand down Junhoe’s pants, grabbing him by the balls.  
  
“Hyung!” Junhoe yelled, not expecting the sudden display. His door wasn’t locked, after all.  
  
“Say you’re sorry,” Jinhwan replied, squeezing when Junhoe frowned at him, “I’m not letting go until I hear it.”  
  
“Then I guess you’re not letting go.” Junhoe shot back, feeling mischievous. His parents weren’t home, after all, only his sister, and she was busy studying.  
  
“You might like that option right now,” Jinhwan replied before tightening his grip, “but you won’t like it in a minute.”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but hiss when Jinhwan gripped him a little too tightly. “Ah come on, don’t be mean!”  
  
“Apologize!” Jinhwan demanded, grinning down at him from above.  
  
“I’m sorry!” Junhoe said, but it wasn’t enough for Jinhwan.  
  
“Sorry for what?” Jinhwan asked, slightly concerned when he saw that Junhoe was grinning.  
  
“I’m sorry that you’re short.” Junhoe couldn’t help himself, even if he knew it meant trouble. Jinhwan squeezed just a little tighter and Junhoe yelped.  
  
Jinhwan let go at that, but stayed straddling him. “I hope that teaches you a lesson.”  
  
Junhoe groaned and rubbed himself, not really in pain anymore but playing it up for fun anyway. “You’re the worst boyfriend ever, you know that, right?”  
  
Jinhwan looked down at him fondly, stroking a finger over his cheek. “Only the best for you!” Just as he was about to lean down to kiss him the room door opened and there stood Junhoe’s sister, Yejin.  
  
There was silence for a moment as she stared at them before shaking her head. “I was going to order a pizza, wanted to know if you guys wanted one too…”  
  
“Yes please, noona!” Junhoe replied, trying to keep a straight face even though he was blushing. He felt weird about having Yejin see him and Jinhwan like this.  
  
Jinhwan smiled at her. “You’re the best, noona!”  
  
“Stop molesting my brother, Jinan.” The way she said it with a neutral expression had Jinhwan laughing and Junhoe blushing harder.  
  
“I hate both of you!” Junhoe yelled, refusing to look at them.  
  
“You can try, Jinan, but you’ll never make this dumb child into a man.” Yejin teased before skipping away from the door, leaving Jinhwan laughing even more and Junhoe annoyed.  
  
“I really hate having a sister sometimes!” Junhoe complained, embarrassed about her joke.  
  
“I love having a sister, but then Yejin is always on the attack, while Seiyeon almost never makes fun of me. So you have it worse.” He laid a hand on Junhoe’s cheek, grinning now that he saw how hard Junhoe was blushing.  
  
“Yeah, I won the annoying sister lottery.” Junhoe grumbled.  
  
“It’s more like she won the annoying little brother lottery, since she was born first.” Jinhwan replied, before leaning down to kiss Junhoe’s lips. Junhoe wanted to be annoyed with the comment, but it was difficult to be mad with Jinhwan’s tongue in his mouth.


	4. Friday I'm In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin corners Woosung for an explanation; Donghyuk seeks some advice while he's on a date with Yunhyeong; and Jinhwan invites Junhoe's family to watch his sister's first solo performance with the orchestra.

> _"I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too_  
>  _Thursday I don't care about you, it's Friday I'm in love"_  
>                                                     "[Friday I'm In Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt7oMSOB7nw)" The Cure  
>    
> 

* * *

“Woosung, we need to talk.”  
  
Woosung turned towards Hanbin with an inviting smile on his face. “I love how you went from trying your best to ignore me in the halls last year to now needing to talk to me.” He had a feeling he knew what Hanbin wanted, but he was still going to tease him about it anyway.  
  
Hanbin frowned and leaned next to him against the wall. “I did not try to ignore you.”  
  
“Yeah you did.” He’d had his reasons, of course, and it’s not like he’d been chasing Hanbin down or anything. “Anyway that’s in the past, what do you want now?”  
  
“Taeyong. What’s his story? Why’s he here?”  
  
Woosung fixed him with an incredulous look. “You had all of basketball practice to ask him, multiple days now that you could have approached him. Why are you asking me?”  
  
“Because he hates me, and I know if I ask him he won’t tell me anything.” Best to just be honest about it.  
  
Woosung pretended to look surprised. “He hates you? News to me.” He couldn’t help but tease Hanbin. Even after a year barely speaking, he still defaulted to teasing him. It was always worth it to see his reaction.  
  
“I’m sure he bitches about me to you every day.” Hanbin replied, not buying for a second that Taeyong wasn’t in a constant state of complaining about him.  
  
“Ah, yes. Because Kim Hanbin is the center of every person’s world, right?”  
  
Hanbin blushed at the comment, not wanting to be misunderstood. “That’s not what I meant.”  
  
“Sure it’s not,” Woosung teased, “Do you really think that we only talk about you? He’s a complex person with multiple interests.”  
  
Hanbin frowned. “Yes I know, I’m sorry.”  
  
“But you’re right, he _does_ bitch about you a lot.” Woosung grinned when Hanbin glared at him.  
  
“Can you stop being so annoying?” Hanbin whined.  
  
“Sorry, I’m genetically programmed to be annoying. Don’t you remember?” Hanbin shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest at his retort, so Woosung finally got to business. “Alright, so let’s recap. He hates you, and you’re too much of a weeny to ask him outright why he moved. Correct?”  
  
Hanbin’s eyes narrowed. “Woosung, please.”  
  
Woosung grinned back at him. “Why do you care anyway? You guys are heated rivals, you hate him too.”  
  
“I don’t hate him, okay? I never hated him.” Hanbin knew Woosung wouldn’t buy that, but it came out anyway.  
  
“You never hated him?” Woosung grinned and had to stifle a laugh. “I clearly remember you saying specifically that you hated him. Not disliked, but actual hate. Don’t you remember that?”  
  
Hanbin frowned again and shook his head. “No.” Of course he remembered—he’d made it a daily habit to complain about Taeyong when he was injured.  
  
“Well I do! I mean it was right after he’d injured you, so not too surprising, really.” Woosung couldn’t help but smile while he watched Hanbin trying to avoid the truth. Even though they weren’t together, he was still allowed to think that Hanbin was cute, wasn’t he?  
  
“Well there you have it. I was injured, I wasn’t of a sound mind.”  
  
Woosung laughed at his attempt at refuting the truth. “It was kind of cute, actually. Remember how you used to scribble his name down on your papers and then angrily scratch it out? I remember that.”  
  
Hanbin did remember doing that, but there was no way he was going to admit it. “If I ever did that, I was probably high on painkillers. It doesn’t count.”  
  
“No you did that off meds too. I think you actually scratched his name into a park bench somewhere? _Lee Taeyong must die_ or something like that.” Woosung grinned, enjoying Hanbin’s panicked refute.  
  
“Can we please focus on the present? Because he’s here now, and I have to co-exist with him.”  
  
Woosung grinned, thoroughly enjoying the situation. “And what do I have to do with that?”  
  
Hanbin frowned at him. “I couldn’t help but notice that you seem quite friendly with him.”  
  
“I wouldn’t call it friendly, he’s a hard person to befriend.”  
  
Hanbin narrowed his eyes. “You eat lunch with him every day and you leave school together.”  
  
Woosung smirked at him. “Oh, you noticed? Are you watching me?”  
  
Hanbin shook his head. “Do you know why he transferred here or not?”  
  
Woosung shrugged. “I might.”  
  
“Well can you tell me?” Hanbin was ready to strangle him. Why was Woosung being so difficult?! Was this karma for ignoring him after they’d broken up?  
  
Woosung paused, like he was thinking. “Nope.”  
  
Hanbin reached out to grab his arm out of instinct, fingers wrapping around Woosung’s wrist the way he used to do when they’d been dating and Woosung had been annoying him. “Come on, why not? If he’s going to play ball, I need to know things about him.”  
  
Woosung looked down at Hanbin’s hand, smirking when Hanbin realized what he was doing and dropped his arm. He looked back at Hanbin’s face, amused to see him blushing. “Ask him, then. Have you thought about trying that?”  
  
“Yes, and every time I get near him he just death glares at me until I walk away.” Hanbin couldn’t believe he’d just reverted back to instinctual behaviour. Clearly this Taeyong situation was really impacting him.  
  
“You can’t let him get the upper hand, Hanbin. Don’t show weakness!”  
  
“I’m not! I’m just trying to keep him from hating me any more than he does.”  
  
“You’re the captain, Beanie Baby. Make him talk to you.” Woosung knew it was a stretch, using his old hated nickname, but the situation called for it. Hanbin’s momentary glare was worth it. But then his face fell into a desperate, pleading expression. The sort of look Hanbin had always used to use on him when they were dating. The one he always fell for, pouty lips and pleading eyes.  
  
“Woosung, please, I am begging you.”  
  
Woosung grinned and shook his head. “Nope, not telling, no matter how long you stare at me with those cute puppy dog eyes of yours. I’m immune to your charms now, fyi.”  
  
The comment caught Hanbin off guard and he couldn’t help but blush at it. “I’m not trying to, oh whatever. Is there honestly no way I can convince you?”  
  
Woosung finally decided to relent. “No, but you know what? I’m a generous person. I’m willing to think about helping you, but only if you do something for me in return.”  
  
Hanbin was willing to do anything. “What do you want?”  
  
Woosung took a moment to compose himself, surprised he’d worked up the nerve to ask. “I want you to come to this open mic rap night on Friday,” he started, gaining confidence when Hanbin looked confused. “I’ve been rapping in the underground scene since last year, started after you and I broke up. Don’t worry I like, never rapped about you or anything.” That was a lie, but Hanbin didn’t need to know that.  
  
Hanbin blushed again. “That’s uh, that’s good to know.”  
  
Woosung grinned. “I know you’d like it, Hanbin, remember when you and I used to do those stupid raps together?”  
  
Hanbin’s face twisted into a panicked expression. “Oh that was so dumb, let’s not talk about that.”  
  
“It was fun, though! Remember when we made the LL Cool J one? _My Boyfriend Said Knock You Out_ ? We used to change the lyrics every time you had a boxing competition.”  
  
Hanbin finally laughed, though it was embarrassing to recall. “It was so lame.”  
  
“Yeah, but, it was our thing, right? Anyway, this is serious. I’m actually pretty popular, you know? I have a bit of a following already.” He was trying to play it cool, but he really wanted Hanbin to come. He wanted to show off a bit. He wanted Hanbin to be impressed.  
  
Hanbin smiled at him. “You want me to come check out your rapping?”  
  
“Yeah. Friday night at Compton in Itaewon. If you come out for the night, I’ll tell you why Taeyong transferred. Deal?”  
  
Hanbin nodded. “Deal. Text me the info and I’ll come check out your little rap show.”  


* * *

  
“Okay, that was wild! I can’t believe how real it felt!” Yunhyeong pulled off the VR goggles, taking a deep breath.  
  
“I know, I still can’t believe I actually screamed when I fell off the wall in the rock climbing one.” Donghyuk leaned next to him, laughing off the adrenaline that was still running through him.  
  
Yunhyeong grinned at him, rubbing a hand over his back. “I wouldn’t even call it a scream. It was more like a shriek.”  
  
Donghyuk grinned back, slightly embarrassed. “Ah was it really that bad?”  
  
“Yeah, but it was cute, so don’t worry.” Yunhyeong squeezed his shoulder.  
  
“Thanks, hyung. I appreciate you not being embarrassed over my shrieks of terror.” Donghyuk got up close to his boyfriend, putting an arm around his waist and smiling when Yunhyeong’s arm settled over his shoulders.  
  
“I didn’t say I wasn’t embarrassed,” Yunhyeong teased, “just said it was cute.”  
  
“As long as I’m cute, that’s all that matters!”  
  
“Well don’t worry, cause you’re the cutest, I promise.” Yunhyeong couldn’t help but give the compliment, and he hoped he wasn’t blushing. Having a boyfriend was still taking some getting used to for him, but he was finally starting to get comfortable with the idea of being openly affectionate in public. Donghyuk deserved the praise, anyway.  
  
Donghyuk smiled happily as he let Yunhyeong lead them down the street away from the virtual reality game centre. He thought it had been one of their better dates so far, with lots of opportunities for playing around and being physically close. It wasn’t too long of a walk until they arrived at their destination, a small noodle shop.  
  
Once they were seated and ordered, Donghyuk reached across to take Yunhyeong’s hand. “Hyung, I know we’re on a date, but can I get your advice about something?”  
  
“Of course, Dong-ie, whatever you need.”  
  
“It’s about Hanbin and Taeyong,” Donghyuk started, desperate for another opinion. “I’m worried about Hanbin, this whole Taeyong situation is getting to him. Every time we go for boxing training all he does is complain about Taeyong.”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned, not surprised about the choice in topic. “What has you worried so much?”  
  
“Well, I feel like I know Hanbin pretty good by now, and I honestly thought he’d be dealing with Taeyong better. He’s supposed to be trying to extend a peaceful hand to him, but I don’t know if he is.” Donghyuk felt a little bad for talking about Hanbin behind his back, but he couldn’t keep it to himself any longer.  
  
“You can’t expect them to patch things up so quickly. It’s only natural for rivalries to take some time to simmer down.” Yunhyeong played with Donghyuk’s fingers, brushing his thumb over them.  
  
“I know, but I just wonder if I should talk to him about it. I tried asking Junhoe, but he actually thinks the whole thing is hilarious and doesn’t want me to say anything.”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned, not surprised. “Oh really?”  
  
“Yeah, he said Hanbin deserves to suffer for a while.”  
  
“That sounds like Junhoe!” Yunhyeong laughed. He could actually hear Junhoe’s voice in his head saying those exact words.  
  
Donghyuk frowned. “Well I don’t like seeing people suffer, it makes me anxious. I want my friends to be happy.”  
  
“Don’t be worried. While Junhoe is a little too happy about the situation, you have to remember that we’re all different people with different capacities for handling this sort of stuff. Just because it upsets you, that doesn’t mean that your friends are obligated to change how they handle situations that don’t directly involve you.”  
  
“But it does involve me, because they’re my friends.”  
  
“The only thing you can do is ask Hanbin to not talk about Taeyong when you’re boxing. Ranting and blowing off steam is how Hanbin deals with stuff. Does he spend all his time complaining when you’re not at boxing?”  
  
Donghyuk shook his head. “No. He barely talks about Taeyong out of the ring.”  
  
“And when he does, I bet it’s not the same, right? He’s probably more positive about it.”  
  
“Yeah, actually you’re right, hyung. I guess I’m just so used to him being level-headed all the time, that when he blows up during training it bothers me.” Donghyuk wondered if he was just being too sensitive? Yunhyeong was right, after all. They all had different methods of coping.  
  
“Like I said, you’re well within your rights to ask Hanbin to train with someone else if him venting about Taeyong during that time is bothering you. But that’s how he copes, so you can’t ask him to not do it around you. All you can do is choose to remove yourself.”  
  
Donghyuk felt better for hearing it. “Thanks, hyung. That’s good advice.”  
  
Yunhyeong smiled back at him. “You care a lot about your friends, but make sure you don’t fall into the trap of being someone’s emotional punching bag. I’m not saying Hanbin is doing that to you, and I don’t think he would. But sometimes our friends assume we’re okay with things, and they have no way of knowing we’re not okay unless we tell them. Hanbin’s used to talking to Junhoe about this sort of stuff, and Junhoe isn’t as sensitive as you are.”  
  
“Junhoe’s actually quite sensitive, I think.”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned. “He’s sensitive in a different way. Like, he’s sensitive to his problems only, whereas I think you’re sensitive to everyone else’s problems. You’re empathetic, and Junhoe is the least empathetic person I know. Which is why he thinks that Hanbin suffering with Taeyong is hilarious, while you want them to fix their problems and co-exist peacefully.”  
  
Donghyuk smiled at the explanation. “That makes sense.”  
  
“But you can’t let your empathy become more important than how Hanbin feels, or Taeyong. You don’t know what either of them are really thinking about each other. Sometimes you just can’t fix other people’s problems, and that’s okay. Not every problem has a solution.”  
  
Donghyuk squeezed his hand tightly. “Thanks, hyung. You’re so smart about this stuff!”  
  
Yunhyeong blushed lightly, happy to help. “Ah, it’s not really that I’m smart. I’m just a good listener and I know how to put myself in other people’s shoes.”  
  
“You have high emotional intelligence!” Donghyuk replied, grinning at the fact that he’d made Yunhyeong blush. Over such a sweet topic, too. It made him feel a hundred times more affectionate towards him.  
  
“Well, with your book smarts and my people smarts, we’re unstoppable!”  


* * *

  
“I’m thrilled to see her on stage, Jinan! For her first feature, too! Ahh, this is so exciting.”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but smile, momentarily stealing Junhoe’s seat next to his sister. “I know, I’m so proud of her. I’m so happy you guys all came, it really means a lot to us.”  
  
“Of course we’d come! Honestly I’d have come even if none of you guys were coming.” Yejin winked at him.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at her. Yejin and Seiyeon had struck up quite the friendship recently, which had taken he and Junhoe a little by surprise. It was nice now, though. He liked Yejin a lot, thought it was a good friendship for his sister. “Then please support her when I move, okay?”  
  
“I will, don’t you worry. I’ll even drag Junhoe along, make him send you video updates.”  
  
“Perfect!” Junhoe happened to come back at that moment, but Yejin made Jinhwan stay in the seat next to her.  
  
“Please I need a break from him, Jinan stay in between us.”  
  
Junhoe looked at her in annoyance. “It’s not my fault you moved back home again! Can you hurry up and find a new apartment?”  
  
“Wow, a girl moves back home for the emotional support of her loving family after ending a relationship and this is what her beloved little brother says to her?” Yejin shook her head, frowning at him.  
  
Junhoe’s face blanked in panic for a moment and he awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck. “Shit, I’m sorry noona! You know I don’t really dislike having you at home.”  
  
Yejin caught Jinhwan’s eye and winked at him. “I know, kid, you mean well. Just be mindful of your teasing, okay?”  
  
Jinhwan was feeling playful, though. “I thought you only moved back home because your lease was up and you wanted to move to a better neighbourhood?”  
  
Yejin’s face fell in betrayal, and a second later she smacked Jinhwan’s arm. “Jinan! I thought we were on the same side!”  
  
When Junhoe realized Yejin hadn’t really been upset by his teasing he rolled his eyes and slumped into his seat, arms crossed over his chest. “You know what? Fuck both of you.”  
  
“Junhoe! Watch your mouth, young man!” A smack to the head later and Junhoe was bowing to his mother.  
  
“Sorry! Yejin started it though!” Junhoe whined.  
  
Yejin stuck her tongue out at him. “I did not, you little turd.”  
  
“Yejin! You won’t attract a nice boy with that sort of language.” She teased her daughter, shaking her head in pretend disapproval.  
  
Yejin grinned back at her. “Oh please, mother! If a man is bothered by me calling my brother a turd, then he’s not the right man for me.”  
  
“Noona wants a man she can talk shit to, literally.” Junhoe made the jab, even though it resulted in a cluck of disapproval from his mother.  
  
Yejin looked at her brother, shaking her head. “Disgusting. You dumpster child.” Junhoe grinned back at her, not phased by the insult.  
  
“Hey, we all have our kinks, no one’s judging you, noona!” Jinhwan couldn’t help but add, grinning when Junhoe started giggling.  
  
Yejin sighed and smacked him again. “When are you leaving for the US? It can’t come soon enough.”  
  
Jinhwan pretended to gasp in hurt. “You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.”  
  
“Maybe your sister will move to Seoul!” Yejin teased back.  
  
“No, please! That would be torture for me.” Junhoe whined, grinning when his mother sighed and shook her head, giving up on trying to talk her kids into being more formal. The show was about to start, though, so everyone settled down to watch.  
  
Jinhwan had brought them to see his sister performing in her first run as a principal flutist with the Jeju orchestra. She even had a solo tonight, a first for her professional career. Jinhwan was beyond proud of her, and it felt amazing to be here with Junhoe’s family to support her. It felt like quite a big step in their relationship, which made him both happy and a little anxious. He was still a few months away from leaving, so he knew he really ought to ignore any potential confusion about how serious they were getting, despite knowing he was going to be leaving.  
  
When the lights dimmed he was surprised to feel Junhoe reaching for his hand, and he smiled when Junhoe threaded their fingers together. It made him happy that every time he wanted something affectionate, Junhoe seemed to want it too and would make it happen if Jinhwan didn’t do it first. They were starting to get on that annoying couple’s wavelength, the one he teased Bobby about all the time.  
  
He glanced at Junhoe out of the corner of his eye, smiling when Junhoe looked at him and squeezed his hand. He knew Junhoe wasn’t really that into classical music, so he appreciated that he was here now, and that he’d wanted to come. It was nice to share unexpected things with him often enough for them to become more of an interest for Junhoe. That was really the whole point of sharing things with a person, wasn’t it? To know that they cared about you enough to eventually adopt the interests you had, out of nothing more than loyalty to you.  
  
It was something he never would have expected out of Junhoe, but life was full of surprises. For now all he could do was sit back and enjoy the time he had left to share passions like this. He couldn't let himself get weighed down by thinking about his impending move. Not when things were so good.


	5. Check The Rhime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin keeps his promise to watch Woosung rap in exchange for information about Taeyong, and brings Bobby along. They meet two of Woosung's fellow underground rappers, one of whom makes Bobby an offer he can't refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You finally get to meet two more new characters this week—Jung "One" Jaewon and Woo "Zico" Jiho! :D
> 
> Only Double B and Woosung are in this, sorry. Bobby's future plot in the story is going to be revealed in this chapter. ;)
> 
> Also wanted to say that I'm finally going to get to see the boys live in a few days!! So expect some squealing in the author notes next week about that. ;) ♥♥♥

> _"You see my aura's positive I don't promote no junk  
> _    _See I'm far from a bully and I ain't a punk  
> _    _Extremity in rhythm, yeah that's what you heard  
> _    _So just clean out your ears and just check the word"  
> _                                           "[Check The Rhime](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QWEPdgS3As)" A Tribe Called Quest  
>   
> 

* * *

Woosung stood nervously with his elbows on the table, his eyes on the front door of the club. It was right around the time he’d told Hanbin to show up, and as much as he knew he ought to act like his usual self, he couldn’t help but stand alone and watch the door. What if Hanbin came by himself? He didn’t know anyone, and Woosung didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. No, watching and waiting was only polite. He was being a good friend. That was all.   
  
“You seem antsy tonight,” came a voice at his side, an arm dropping around his shoulders, “got someone special coming?”   
  
Woosung rolled his eyes at the comment, glancing at the smirking face of Jung Jaewon. “Yeah, your sister.”   
  
“Nice try, but I don’t have a sister,” Jaewon replied, “I have a brother though. He’s actually pretty cute, you might like him.”   
  
Woosung narrowed his eyes at Jaewon, wondering if he was being serious or not. Jaewon had never mentioned a brother before. “You’ve been holding out on me all this time, hyung? Rude.”   
  
“Don’t get excited, his brother’s straight.” Woo Jiho popped up on his other side, a bottle of beer held between his fingers.   
  
“So unfortunate,” Woosung joked back, before swiping Jiho’s bottle and taking a sip. “If Jaewon really has a brother, he’s got to be good looking.”   
  
“Yeah, too good looking for you,” Jaewon replied, grinning when Jiho grabbed his bottle back from Woosung.   
  
“Who isn’t?” Woosung joked back, making a grab for Jiho’s beer again.   
  
Jiho slapped his fingers. “Excuse me? Are you of age?”   
  
“That depends on what age you’re talking about,” Woosung replied with a wink, “I’m of age for you to suck my dick.”   
  
“Jiho doesn’t suck dick,” Jaewon said, “he doesn’t like to work.”   
  
“I don’t eat pussy either, I’m equal opportunity lazy in bed.” Jiho replied, which made Woosung laugh.   
  
“Well hyung, I hope you make some sweet royalty money then, so your future spouse will have something to be happy about.” Woosung teased, grinning when Jiho shook his head.   
  
“Let’s get back to the original topic before we got derailed,” Jaewon interrupted, “you were staring at the door for a good ten minutes straight, Woo. You invited someone out tonight, didn’t you?” Jaewon asked, leaning on the table in front of Woosung. “Usually you’re talking everyone’s ear off, but tonight you’ve only got eyes for that front door.”   
  
Woosung shrugged, hoping that if he didn’t make a big deal of the question, Jaewon would get bored. “Just trying to remember a sweet diss verse I wrote for you.”   
  
“No, Jae’s right, you’re unusually quiet tonight. Got a hot date?” Jiho nudged him, grinning at Woosung’s slightly pink cheeks.   
  
“No, I do not have a hot date coming,” Woosung replied, annoyed at the both of them for ganging up on him.   
  
“An ugly date, then? That would be less surprising.” Jaewon teased, looking at Jiho and winking.   
  
Woosung sighed and figured he ought to just own up to it, then, because it didn’t look like either of them were about to let him off the hook. “I don’t have a date at all coming. I just invited a friend.”   
  
“Is he cute?” Jaewon asked.   
  
“I said he’s a  _ friend, _ Jaewon! Nothing more.” Woosung was starting to feel slightly nervous about having invited Hanbin out now. He figured he’d have been safe tonight, because Jaewon tended to pay him attention only on alternating weeks, and last week Jaewon had been all up in his space. It was supposed to be an off week tonight.   
  
“But you want him to be more than just a friend?” Jiho joined in.   
  
Woosung shook his head. They both knew about Hanbin, and now he regretted ever telling them. But it wasn’t often that you met guys in the hip hop scene who also liked guys, so when you did it tended to loosen your tongue in regards to information you usually kept to yourself.   
  
“I hope he’s hot,” Jaewon said, “you need to get over that ex of yours.”

Jiho nodded, looking at Woosung with a pitying expression. “Yeah, you haven’t hooked up with anyone since we’ve known you. It’s sad.”   
  
Woosung couldn’t believe Jaewon had brought Hanbin up! He hadn’t talked about him in months! “Man, fuck both of you. We can’t all be sluts.” Jaewon and Jiho both laughed at him, and of course that was the moment when Hanbin happened to walk through the door. Woosung couldn’t help but smile when he saw him. It’s not that he wanted to try and get Hanbin back, or anything. He knew Hanbin had a new boyfriend, and he respected that. But he missed Hanbin, not just as a boyfriend but as a friend (okay maybe not so much as a boyfriend, because even though it sucked to admit it, they actually hadn’t really been a good match for each other). He just wanted to hang out with him again. So what if he thought Hanbin was cute? You could think your friends were cute.   
  
His smile fell when the aforementioned new boyfriend walked through the door behind him.  _ Of course he’d brought Bobby! _ He’d been stupid to think that Hanbin would come alone. Not that it mattered! Well, as long as Bobby wasn’t an asshole to him.   
  
“Hey, isn’t that your ex?” Jiho nudged him, and Woosung couldn’t believe that Jiho remembered what Hanbin looked like! The first night they’d met, Jiho had gotten him drunk on soju and Woosung had proceeded to show him every single picture he had of Hanbin in his phone. It had been embarrassing, and he’d hoped that Jiho had been drunk enough to forget half of it. Apparently not.   
  
“What? Which one?” Jaewon asked, eyes immediately roaming new the entry area.   
  
“The cute one at the door,” Jiho teased, wondering who the other guy was. A new boyfriend?   
  
Jaewon studied the new arrivals, grinning when he thought he had him picked out. “Is that him with the GZA snapback?” Jaewon didn’t recognize him, but there was something oddly familiar about the guy standing behind him.   
  
“Yeah, that’s the ex!” Jiho replied. “Is that really the friend you invited tonight?”   
  
Woosung was tempted to say no and blame it on coincidence, especially since Hanbin had brought Bobby. But he couldn’t afford to lose face, especially if Hanbin made a comment that contradicted his story. “Yes, I invited him, and I told you, we’re just friends now. I know he’s into hip hop, so I invited him out.”   
  
“Who’s that other guy with him? A new boyfriend?” Jiho teased, and Woosung ignored the question. Hanbin spotted him then and smiled at him before coming over, and Woosung felt his heart skip a beat.  _ Fuck. Don’t crush again you idiot. Don’t do it. He’s not good for you. _   
  
Woosung moved away from the table, meeting Hanbin just as he approached. “Hey, bro!” He greeted, nodding to Bobby as well, trying to gauge his reaction. Did Bobby even know who he was? But Bobby smiled at him in a friendly sort of way, which relieved a bit of his apprehension.   
  
“Hey,” Hanbin greeted back, but before he was able to say anything more Woosung started making introductions.   
  
“This is Jaewon, and this is Jiho, they’re a couple of my rapper friends,” Woosung explained.   
  
“You hear that?” Jiho said, looking at Jaewon and shaking his head. “Casually calling us friends, like we’re not both older than him.”   
  
“So disrespectful in front of his cute ex-boyfriend,” Jaewon cut in, eyes on Hanbin, taking him in for the first time. He was surprised to see him, because Hanbin was not at all what he’d expected when Woosung had talked about him. There was something about Hanbin’s face that just screamed regal, and Jaewon wondered how they’d ended up together. He could see why Woosung had been hung up, though. Hanbin was cute.   
  
Hanbin grinned at them, amused at the introduction and not missing the compliment. He didn’t know who the guy was, but he was gorgeous. The kind of guy it was hard to take your eyes off of.   
  
Woosung couldn’t help but feel ruffled at Jaewon’s comment. If he was even thinking about flirting with Hanbin… He wouldn’t put it past Jaewon if he was in that kind of a mood.   
  
“Yes, well, this is Hanbin, as you both know, and even though I haven’t officially met him yet, I assume this is Bobby, Hanbin’s  _ boyfriend, _ ” Woosung looked pointedly at Jaewon as he said it, wanting to drive home the point that Hanbin was strictly off-limits.   
  
Jaewon fixed Bobby with a sudden look of comprehension. “I thought you looked familiar.”   
  
Bobby stared back at him, trying to hide his irritation at the look he’d been giving Hanbin. He didn’t recognize Jaewon, though, was certain he’d never seen him before. “I’m sorry, do we know each other?”   
  
Jaewon shook his head. “No, but you do know my little brother.”   
  
Bobby hadn’t expected that answer. “Who’s your brother?”   
  
Jaewon grinned at him, not surprised that Bobby didn’t know. “Jung Chanwoo.”   
  
Bobby’s mouth dropped in shock.  _ Impossible. _ “Chanwoo never said he had a brother!”   
  
Jaewon grinned back at him, taking a sip of his drink. “No, well, he’s not really supposed to talk about me. I’m kind of a black sheep in my family.”   
  
“Why?” Bobby asked, still in confusion over the fact that Chanwoo had a brother. Then again he didn’t really talk about his family at all, though Bobby was certain he’d asked about siblings once and Chanwoo hadn’t said anything.   
  
“Multiple reasons,” Jaewon replied, leaning on the table, “my chaebol family doesn’t approve of my life choices.”   
  
“What life choices?” Hanbin asked, assuming that Jaewon was gay. He had called him cute, after all.   
  
Jaewon focused his attention on Hanbin, appreciating his pretty lips. “All of them? Specifically they don’t like the rapping, they didn’t like me cutting school to rap, or cutting school to drink, and they also don’t appreciating my sexual interest in guys.”   
  
“Don’t feel sorry for him,” Jiho cut in, “he forgot to mention that his father pays his good money to stay away from the family.”   
  
Jaewon grinned. “That’s true. We have an agreement, my dad and I—I stay away, and in return he pays all my expenses and gives me money. Of course I find ways to stay in touch with Chanwoo, though, and he’s talked about you quite a bit, Bobby.”   
  
Bobby wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but it was nice to know that Chanwoo liked him enough to talk about him to his secret brother. “Chanu’s a good kid, I kinda miss him.”   
  
“I’m glad to hear that little snot has a fan,” Jaewon teased, “though I think I might give him shit for not mentioning me even once to you.”   
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna give him shit too.” Bobby took his phone out, snapping a quick picture of Jaewon. “In fact I’m gonna do it right now.” He leaned on the table and opened his messenger, typing a message to Chanwoo.   
  
_ B: yo chanu u kno dis guy??? hes talkin mad shit bout u!! _   
  
He attached the picture of Jaewon to his message and sent it off, looking up to see Jaewon grinning at him.   
  
“What did you write?” Jaewon asked, and Bobby showed it to him. “Wanna see mine?” Jaewon asked, showing Bobby his phone.   
  
_ J: chanuyaaaaa i just met ur ex capt bobby y didnt u tell me hes a fuckin creep????? _ _   
_ _ J: he didnt kno who i am n he just told me bout how he used to make all the new players suck his dick??? _ _   
_ _ J: did he ever touch you?? _ _   
_ _ J: want me to knock him the fuck out?? _   
  
Bobby laughed at the messages, impressed at Jaewon’s idea. “Shit, that’s good! I gotta get more creative.” Bobby’s phone buzzed with an incoming call from Chanwoo. He grinned at Jaewon. “Shit, he’s calling!”   
  
He answered the call. “Hey, Chanwoo-ya! You get my message?”   
  
“Hyung, are you still with my brother?”   
  
Bobby grinned at Jaewon, who was leaning next to him. “Yeah, he’s here.”   
  
“Put me on speaker phone,” Chanwoo instructed, and Bobby did that, holding it up in between he and Jaewon.   
  
“K, we’re both here!” They waited a few seconds before Chanwoo’s voice came clear over the phone.   
  
“Jaewon hyung, Bobby hyung, this is a message for the both of you. Fuck off.” The line immediately went dead after that and they both erupted into laughter.   
  
“I can’t believe he just hung up! I’m gonna kick that kid’s ass the next time I see him.” Jaewon said with a grin.   
  
“Classic Chanwoo behaviour,” Bobby replied, not surprised but greatly amused. He slid his phone back into his pocket, pleased with how it had turned out. He also found his earlier irritation at Jaewon for flirting with Hanbin completely disappear. Nothing could bring two people together quite like teasing a younger sibling.   
  
“I can’t believe that out of everyone this one is dating, it just happened to be someone linked to Jaewon,” Jiho said, shaking his head.   
  
“Yeah, imagine that,” Woosung replied, “six degrees of separation, Jung Jaewon style.”   
  
Jaewon smirked at him. “Didn’t you know I’m the sun? Everything revolves around me!”   
  
Woosung grinned at the comment before looking at Hanbin. “Sounds a little like you, doesn’t he?” He couldn’t help but tease Hanbin, whose cheeks got a little pink and he glared back at him.   
  
“Oh be quiet,” Hanbin said, remembering the conversation as well.   
  
“Hey, us pretty boys naturally end up at the centre of everything, right Hanbin?” Jaewon said, winking at Hanbin before glancing at Bobby. “No offense, Bobby.”   
  
Bobby just grinned back at him. “None taken! You’re right, anyway, my world kinda revolves around this kid. Can’t be helped.” Bobby slung an arm around Hanbin’s shoulders, laughing when it made Hanbin blush.   
  
“Ah hyung, don’t be gross!” Hanbin didn’t really mind the comment, he actually thought it was an exciting statement to hear out loud. He looked at Bobby, smiling to let him know that he actually did like what he’d said. Bobby grinned back and kissed him on the forehead, trying not to overdo it since they were out in public.   
  
Woosung watched them (though he tried to not be obvious about it) and couldn’t help but feel just a little annoyed. On one hand, it was nice, knowing that Hanbin was happy, because he deserved to be happy. But on the other hand, it would have been nice if he could have been the one on the receiving end of that smile.   
  
Just then he saw Jiho casually slide his bottle of beer in front of him, a show of silent sympathy. Woosung was slightly annoyed by that too, but then he decided to go for it anyway, picking up the bottle and drinking the rest of it. Just to be funny. And maybe to feel a little better, too.   
  


* * *

  
Woosung finally managed to slip away from the group of people who’d surrounded him after finishing his set, his  _ fans. _ It was still wild sometimes to think about the fact that there were actually a few people who came out specifically to see him. And just like the previous week, people kept asking him if he was going to try out for Show Me The Money. It felt equally good and embarrassing to hear. It was amazing to know that people thought he was good enough, but he also wasn’t exactly used to anyone thinking he was good at anything.   
  
Maybe he’d give himself another year and try out next year, after he graduated.   
  
But as much as he loved talking to fans, he also wished they could have left him alone this week, because there was one person in particular he wanted to talk to. He hadn’t been able to help himself when he’d been performing, searching out Hanbin’s face among the crowd, constantly gauging his reaction. It had been a bit of a tricky situation, trying to keep his cool and play off to his uncaring stage persona, when in reality he couldn’t remember feeling happier in a long time.   
  
Because the way Hanbin had been watching him while he’d been performing was the way he’d wanted Hanbin to look at him while they’d been dating. Like he looked proud. Proud to be around him, proud to be  _ with _ him.   
  
It was dangerous territory to tread, he knew that. He couldn’t afford to let that dormant crush rear its head again. There was no point, really. He didn’t really know Bobby, had no idea what it was about him that Hanbin liked so much (aside from his body, which Woosung had to admit was quite nice to look at) but he could see it on Hanbin’s face when he looked at Bobby. He looked at him like he was the greatest person in the world (and at least Bobby looked at Hanbin the same way, because if he didn’t then Woosung might just have to step in and do something about it).   
  
Even so, it was good to be on friendly terms with Hanbin again. They made good friends, after all. All he really needed to do was find himself a new boyfriend, or at least a new guy to fall for. There was Taeyong, and he was beautiful, but even though he knew Hanbin was more than ready to tease him about it, Taeyong did come with some pretty heavy baggage, and Woosung had enough hangups of his own. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to pursue Taeyong.   
  
He looked for Hanbin now that he was free and saw him standing near the bar with the others. Hanbin looked over then and detangled himself from Bobby, making his way over towards him. Woosung stood and waited, knowing exactly what Hanbin was coming over for.   
  
“You weren’t kidding,” Hanbin said as he approached, “you really do have a bit of a following, don’t you?”   
  
Woosung grinned and shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “What can I say? I’m a popular guy around these parts.”   
  
“Yeah you are, you were really good though, like I’m honestly impressed. I always knew you had a way with words, your freestyles were always good. But you’re like a different guy on stage, it’s surprising. You just give us this really cool vibe.”   
  
Woosung frowned at him, appreciating the comments but playing around. “Wow, thanks for that backhanded compliment. Really know how to butter a guy up.”   
  
Hanbin grinned. “Oh come on, you know what I mean! People hang off your every word when you rap.”   
  
“Are you saying I’m boring when I’m not rapping?” Woosung teased back.   
  
“No,” Hanbin replied, “but this stage persona of yours, Olltii? He’s like Woosung 2.0.” Hanbin teased back, laughing when Woosung shook his head.   
  
“Shouldn’t you be complimenting me more, since you want something from me?” Woosung asked.   
  
“I’ll hold any further compliments until after I get my information,” Hanbin replied.   
  
“Fine,” Woosung gave in, before glancing back into an emptier corner, “let’s go grab that couch.” He led the way to the corner, sinking down into the leather couch, smiling when Hanbin sat next to him, as close as possible. Of course it was just so it would be easier to talk over the music, but still.   
  
“Okay, so, I came, I saw, and now it’s your turn to talk.”   
  
“Alright, so I don’t know the entire story, I’m still trying to chip away at it. But here’s what I do know.” He paused for a moment, glad Hanbin had left Bobby behind for this conversation. He felt bad enough about spilling information to Hanbin, but at least it wasn’t to a group of people. Only one wasn’t so bad. “His dad kicked him out.”   
  
Hanbin wasn’t surprised. He’d actually been thinking that it had to have been something drastic involving his father. “Yeah, I thought it was probably something like that. That sucks, though.”   
  
“What do you mean, you thought it was something like that?” Woosung looked at him in confusion.   
  
“Last year, after our game, I kinda overheard his dad ripping into him for losing,” Hanbin explained, “it was after our semi game. He was pissed that Taeyong kept losing to me, a gay guy.”   
  
Woosung frowned. The news didn’t sit well with him, but it did fall in line with Taeyong’s prickly personality. “Not surprised to hear his dad’s a homophobe.”   
  
“Yeah, well because he lost to the gay again, his dad just left him at our school. Said he didn’t want to drive him home. He wouldn’t even give him money to take the subway, he told him to walk.”   
  
Woosung hadn’t known it was that harsh, and he felt even worse for Taeyong now. He didn’t have as close a relationship with his parents as he’d like, but they’d never treat him that poorly. Taeyong’s dad just sounded cruel. But he also regarded Hanbin with a disappointed look. “So, you knew his dad is shit, but you’re still an asshole to him?”   
  
“I don’t mean to,” Hanbin replied, uncomfortable at being called out so suddenly, “but what am I supposed to do? Tell him that I overheard his dad saying that to him? He’d probably be pissed I knew about it. You don’t want comfort from your enemy. That’s embarrassing.”   
  
Woosung shrugged, because Hanbin did have a point, but still. “Fine, but you could still be a little nicer to him.”   
  
“I know, okay,” he replied, “I don’t need a lecture about it. It’s just tough, after having a big rivalry with someone, and then you find shit out about them that you can’t say anything about. Like, I’d actually like to reach out to him and be friendly, but I can’t because he hates me.”   
  
“Well, I can’t blame him. He’s the one who kept losing, so of course it’ll hurt him more. And I know it’s hard to be nice to someone who hates you, I don’t mean to lecture you. Anyway, he’s living with his grandmother now. Doesn’t really talk to anyone at his old school, he said they all hate him.”   
  
Hanbin looked perplexed at the comment. “Why would his friends hate him? It’s not his fault his dad kicked him out.”   
  
Woosung shrugged, wondering if he should steer the conversation into a certain direction he wanted to explore. Hanbin was sharp, after all, he picked up on things quickly. It was one thing they’d always had in common. “I don’t know, he didn’t say and I didn’t want to ask yet. Besides, I told him that you and I used to date, so I don’t want him to think I’m just digging info for you.”   
  
“You’re not?” Hanbin asked with a hint of teasing in his tone.   
  
Woosung frowned at him. “No, remember, not everything revolves around you?”   
  
Hanbin just grinned at him. “Sure. You’re just befriending the pretty new boy for noble reasons.”   
  
“Shut up! I just think he’s interesting.” He knew by Hanbin’s tone and facial expressions what he was thinking.   
  
“Interesting to look at?” Hanbin teased, nudging him when Woosung looked annoyed. “How did he react when you told him you were gay? I’d have expected him to hate you, given his dad.”   
  
There it was—the beginning of  _ that _ conversation. “He actually didn’t say shit about me being gay. He was a little bothered that I dated you, but I think the fact that I came out and told him probably made him feel less weird about it.”   
  
“Really?” Hanbin wondered if there was any possibility…   
  
“Even when he talks shit about you, he never says anything about you being gay. He doesn’t talk about anyone being gay.”   
  
Hanbin was silent for a moment, thinking about the situation. “You know, now that I think about it, I realize that he never actually made any homophobic comments to me either. It was always his teammates, but he never made any comments himself. When he talked shit it never had to do with my sexuality.”   
  
Woosung waited, because he was sure that any second now Hanbin was going to give voice to the thoughts he’d been having himself. Right on cue a second later he felt Hanbin’s fingers close around his arm.   
  
“Do you think he’s gay?” Hanbin asked, the possibility hitting him like a kick to the stomach.   
  
Woosung shrugged, trying not to play it up too much. He also didn’t want to bring any attention to the fact that Hanbin was touching him. “He might be. I mean, it would explain his dad kicking him out.”   
  
Hanbin nodded, and his fingers relaxed a little, but he didn’t let go. “It would explain his friends, too. If they were all homophobic too, of course they’d hate him now.”   
  
Woosung was nearly positive now that Taeyong was gay. It just all made sense. “It would also explain when he hates you so much. Because not only did you beat him, but you’re openly gay, and you have good support for being gay. It’s like you have everything he wants to have.”   
  
Hanbin frowned and felt his heart drop. Was that really the problem? Was Taeyong actually gay? “You know, it makes sense too that he wants to be your friend. Even though you dated me, you’re still gay, so if word got out about him here, then he knows that you wouldn’t turn on him.”   
  
Woosung agreed, because he’d been wondering himself why Taeyong was choosing to stick with only him as a friend. He could easily make more friends, but he never tried. Time to reel Hanbin in, though. “Listen, Hanbin, you absolutely cannot talk to him about this.”   
  
Hanbin frowned, because he wanted to bring it up, but he knew Woosung was right. “Yeah, I know.”   
  
“I mean it, though! I know you like to try and solve people’s problems when they need help, but we could be totally wrong about this. So please don’t say anything to him, okay? Because then he’ll know that I talked to you. Just let me dig, okay?”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but feel slightly bristled at Woosung’s comment, but then he supposed that he did just want to protect his new friendship. “Okay. I promise I will not talk to him about this.”   
  
Woosung narrowed his eyes and suddenly reached for Hanbin’s hand, holding it tightly in his own. “I’m holding you to this promise, okay? Leave the digging to me.”   
  
Hanbin looked surprised at their hands, but he met Woosung’s eyes and nodded. “I promise. I’ll leave it to you.”   
  
“Good,” Woosung smiled at him, “thanks, Hanbin.”   
  


* * *

  
“So, what’s your story? I assume you must be out of school if your boyfriend’s calling you hyung.”   
  
Bobby looked at Jiho and grinned. “Yeah, I just graduated this year, just working now with my brother while I figure out what I want to do.”   
  
Jiho nodded. “No university plans?”   
  
Bobby shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe next year. Not really sure what the point of more school is if I don’t know what I want to do it for, you know? What about you? You in university?”   
  
Jiho shook his head. “I actually write music and produce for an idol company,” he replied, grinning when he saw the shocked look on Bobby’s face.   
  
“You what? Is it a big one? How the fuck did you land that?” He couldn’t help the explosion of jealousy that lit up his insides. Jiho was working in music, something Bobby suddenly realized he’d love to do.   
  
“Nah, just a smaller company, just getting my feet in the door, you know? I’ll play you some stuff some other time. I got it because of a guy I know who raps with us sometimes, his sister’s an idol trainee at the company.”   
  
Bobby didn’t reply for a moment, still surprised. “Wow, honestly I didn’t expect it of you. I mean, given that performance of yours tonight, not really idol material.” Bobby replied with a grin.   
  
Jiho laughed at the comment. “Funny story? I actually auditioned with an idol company,” he explained, much to Bobby amusement, “passed my first audition and even trained for two months, but Jaewon ended up talking me out of it, thankfully. It was a shit company, the owner was a complete asshole. I would have been screwed if I’d stayed there.”   
  
Bobby was floored again. “Wait.  _ You _ trained to be an idol?  _ You? _ My mind is officially fucking blown.”   
  
Jiho laughed again and reached out to pat Bobby’s head. “Yeah, me too. Thank god Jaewon talked me out of it, I still owe him to this day.”   
  
Bobby grinned. “Did Jaewon ever audition? He’s got the face of an idol, bet they’d snatch him up in a heartbeat.”   
  
“Right? I tell him he should go audition for YG all the time, but he shrugs it off. I think he just doesn’t want someone telling him what to do. I mean, he’s got no one to answer to, since his dad pays for his life. Still, though. He could be big.”   
  
Bobby regarded Jiho with a curious look. “Why don’t you audition for YG? You’re totally their style.”   
  
Jiho just laughed. “Nah, I’m too old for an idol group now. Besides, I like my music producer role more. It’s fun to perform underground like this, I couldn’t imagine having to do TV shows wearing stupid clothes and makeup. Fuck that life.”   
  
“True, you have a point there. Still though, that’s really cool that you produce. I’m kinda jealous.”   
  
Jiho turned to him with a sudden look of piqued interest. “Oh yeah? You into producing too?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “No, well, not yet? It’s something I’d like to do, but I didn’t have time in school. Maybe now though, since I’m out. I work down at the dockyard unloading all day, I actually pass a lot of my shifts rapping in my head, for fun.”   
  
“That’s convenient,” Jiho replied, “you should think about coming out for open mic night sometime, let us all hear what you’re rapping in your head.” He wondered what Bobby’s style would be.   
  
“You think so?” Bobby asked, not wanting to seem desperate, but feeling desperate. He wanted to hear someone tell him to try it out.   
  
Jiho nodded. “Fuck yeah, we all have to start somewhere, right? Let me know if you want to come over some time, I can get you in my studio, teach you about beat production too if you’re interested.”   
  
Bobby nodded enthusiastically, excitement bubbling up in his stomach. “You would? Seriously? I’d totally be down for that! Fuck, thank you for offering.”   
  
Jiho grinned, Bobby’s honest excitement hooking him in. It was kind of cute. “Yeah man, let me get your number, we’ll set something up for this week if you have time. I’ll get Jaewon to come in too, we can put your through the ringer.” Jiho teased before pulling out his phone and asking Bobby to type his number in.   
  
Bobby couldn’t believe his luck. He tried to rein his excitement in, not wanting it to get out of hand. This was just the tiniest of tiny first steps, after all. It might amount to nothing. But Jiho was working at a company, and Bobby assumed he’d probably produced his own beats from earlier. And his rapping was some of the best Bobby had ever heard, honestly. Jaewon too, Bobby felt like he could learn a lot from the both of them.   
  
He really hoped Jiho wasn’t just jerking him around. He wanted to be a part of what they were doing, wanted to join in their performance. He hadn’t even realized it was something he wanted until it got dangled right in front of his nose.   
  
All he had to do was reach out and grab the opportunity.


	6. Shake The Disease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin says too much in front of Taeyong. After years of being the one getting the lectures, finally Junhoe gets to be the one giving the lecture. Bobby contemplates his future and seeks out some brotherly advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SXSW was honestly one of the best experiences of my life!! ♥♥♥ I'm even more in love with the boys after seeing them up close. ♥♥♥

> _"You know how hard it is for me to shake the disease  
> _   _That takes hold of my tongue in situations like these"  
> _                                              ["Shake The Disease"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_0sL_SQYvw) Depeche Mode  
>   
> 

* * *

  
Hanbin found Taeyong at his locker, watching him for a moment before approaching. Ever since he’d talked with Woosung on Friday, he found his feelings about Taeyong continually shifting. He was determined to be on his best behaviour, to not let Taeyong’s prickly behaviour rub him the wrong way. It was easy to make that promise to himself when he was looking at his back, but he knew it would be tougher to keep it when he had Taeyong in his face, provoking him.   
  
He steeled his nerves and walked over to him, leaning on the locker next to him. He could see Taeyong’s eyes narrow when he noticed him, but Hanbin didn’t let it affect him.   
  
“I’m sorry for the late notice, but we have to change our practice to Wednesday this week, coach had something come up tomorrow night. I don’t have your phone number yet so I couldn’t text you last night when I found out.”   
  
Taeyong frowned at the news. Wednesday were off limits for him because of church. “I can’t do Wednesday.”   
  
“Why not?” Hanbin didn’t mean to ask so brusquely, but the outright denial was a bit unexpected.   
  
Taeyong couldn’t begin to explain the real reason to Hanbin. “I have plans on Wednesday, every week. Can’t get out of them.” He’d like nothing more than to get out of them, but he’d already skipped out twice and his grandmother was starting to get suspicious.   
  
Hanbin had to pause and ask himself what he’d do if it were any other player. Would he keep pushing? Or was he only pushing now because it was Taeyong and he was curious? It was a delicate situation, but he believed he had just cause for asking. “Are you sure you can’t get out of whatever it is? This is the last practice before we set the team. If you’re serious, you should be there.”   
  
Taeyong’s frustration came out in an angry glare and a harsh voice. “I fucking told you, I have plans that I can’t cancel.”  _ God, being gay was ruining everything! _ This bullshit  _ therapy _ he had to take was possibly going to get in the way of basketball. It wasn’t fair.   
  
Hanbin had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping back. But he was the captain, and he had to keep a sense of decorum about himself. He wouldn’t take the cursing and attitude from anyone else, but Taeyong was a special case right now and he had to treat him as such. “I understand that, but if you’re not willing to explain what those plans are, I have to ask.”   
  
“I thought you’d be happy to have an extra strike against me,” Taeyong bit back, “clearly you don’t want me on this team.” He knew that arguing with Hanbin wasn’t the best idea, but he had to take his frustration out in some way, and a bitter argument was better than punching his locker.   
  
Hanbin surprised himself with his quick answer. “I do want you on the team,” he replied seriously, keeping eye contact with a still glaring Taeyong, “whatever shit there is between us, it doesn’t matter this year. You deserve to be on the team, we need you. I’m not willing to kick you off because you can’t make one practice.”   
  
Taeyong didn’t respond right away, searching Hanbin’s face for any sign to show that he wasn’t being serious. But Hanbin didn’t look like he was bullshitting him, and Taeyong cooled down a bit. “It’s personal, okay? I don’t want to talk about it, but I can’t make it on Wednesday, ever. That’s all I can say. I can’t take the chance of pissing my grandmother off.”   
  
“Your grandmother?” Hanbin jumped on the comment before he could stop himself. “Are you living with her now? Is that why you’re coming here?” He knew he’d promised Woosung not to pry with Taeyong, but the opportunity had just presented itself to him. It was almost like Taeyong  _ wanted _ him to ask.   
  
Taeyong scowled, only just realizing what he’d said. “That’s none of your fucking business, okay? Don’t ask about my family.”   
  
“You don’t have to get so defensive,” Hanbin replied, “I’m just curious. I’ve been curious since you moved here. Just trying to make sense of it all.” He hoped it didn’t seem like he was pushing too hard.   
  
“You don’t need to understand. I moved, and that’s all that matters.”   
  
Hanbin just couldn’t accept the shut down. Not when he had a sliver of a chance to expand on it. “Why don’t you want to talk about it? We’re on the same team this year, we shouldn’t be enemies.”   
  
Taeyong shook his head, glaring at the lockers. What was Hanbin doing? Talking like he wanted to friends, or some bullshit? Where had the intense rivalry of last week gone? “You can’t just throw away a rivalry like ours, Hanbin. You’ll always be my enemy. Get used to it.”   
  
Hanbin kept his cool, choosing his words carefully. “I’m fine with being your rival, Taeyong, but I don’t want to be your enemy. We should try and get past our history. Start over this year.”   
  
Taeyong looked back at him, anger all over his face. “That must be so fucking easy for you to say. You’re not the one who lost every year, you’re not the one who disappointed everyone. You got to be the hero, you rubbed my face in your victory all the time. But now that it’s not convenient for you? Of course you want to drop it. Because you never got hurt by it, you don’t have all of the bitter memories that I have. So no, fuck you and your bullshit attempt to  _ get over it. _ I’ll never get over it.” Taeyong knew he ought to stop talking, knew he shouldn’t have said all of that. He was too worked up, too angry, too emotionally compromised. Hanbin was going to jump all over it.   
  
Despite promising himself and Woosung that he’d stay away from the topic, Hanbin couldn’t ignore it when Taeyong so blatantly laid it out in front of him like a three course meal. “I heard your dad last year, after our last game.” His comment brought the conversation to a standstill, their eyes holding each other.   
  
Taeyong balled his hands into fists at his side, a subconscious action. “Did you?” He wasn’t sure how to feel about it at the moment, couldn’t even remember what his dad had said to him at that time. It was hard to recall, back when his only crime was not being good enough. It seemed like it was a whole lifetime ago, before his father had lost what little hope he’d had for him. Before he’d become a total failure in his eyes.   
  
Hanbin nodded, and though he knew he ought to shut up about the topic, he couldn’t help but continue. Now that they were here he  _ had _ to say something. “Your dad’s kind of an asshole.”   
  
“Don’t talk about my dad! You don’t know him.” Taeyong was surprised by his knee-jerk reaction, hated the fact that pleasing his father was still so ingrained into him that he couldn’t help but defend him from criticism. Even though Hanbin was correct.   
  
Hanbin hadn’t expected the response. He’d been hoping to have a bit of a breakthrough, at least. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place, but I just wanted you to know that I know.”   
  
Taeyong couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Why the fuck would I want to know that you know anything my father has ever said to me? What, are we supposed to be friends now? Because you heard my dad lecture me about losing?”   
  
Did Taeyong not remember the conversation? “He didn’t just lecture you, he left you by yourself halfway across the city with no way to get home! That was cruel.”   
  
Taeyong gave an incredulous laugh. “Don’t act like you understand what it’s like, Hanbin. You don’t know shit about cruelty! Your family worships you, so you don’t get to talk about mine.”   
  
“I know your dad hated me because I was gay.”   
  
Taeyong hadn’t been expecting the comment, and he quickly tried to school his expression into something neutral.  _ Why _ had Hanbin said that?! “That’s very observant of you.”   
  
Hanbin could sense it in Taeyong’s reaction—the gay comment clearly made him uncomfortable. He had to push! He was sure he was about to get something out of him! “Why did he kick you out to live with your grandmother?”   
  
Taeyong was stunned at the words. “Who told you he kicked me out?”   
  
Hanbin could barely keep himself from panicking at his mistake. He shouldn’t have worded it that way! “No one, I just assumed, because you said you were living with her. After last year I thought, you know, it made sense. Especially since you switched schools.”   
  
Taeyong was panicking internally—he’d trusted Woosung with the information. Had he told Hanbin? He’d been worried that maybe Woosung was only being friendly as a way to get information for his ex-boyfriend. “Don’t ask me about my family. That’s off limits.”   
  
Hanbin felt bad at the awkward divide that had sprung up, it was different from the simmering anger. But maybe Taeyong would open up after calming down. “I’m sorry for bringing it up. I was just worried—”   
  
“You were worried about me?” Taeyong replied with a harsh laugh. “Spare me the bullshit, Hanbin. I don’t want to hear it.” They stood in silence for a moment, neither of them moving, both of them still feeling anxious.   
  
Hanbin broke the silence. “Look, again, I’m sorry for bringing it up. I know that maybe it’s asking a lot, but I really do want us to work together cohesively this year. We’re the best players in the league, you and I. We don’t have to keep being enemies, despite what you think.”   
  
Taeyong shook his head, moving past his panic and settling back into irritation and anger. “You don’t have to kiss my ass, Hanbin. I don’t like you, and I know you don’t like me. But you’re right. We are the best players. If you're willing to say that to my face, then you can accept the fact that I can’t make practice on Wednesday.” He hoped it would work, hoped he’d managed to talk Hanbin into a corner with his own comment.   
  
He’d been so close, but he had to let it go, had to give up digging for now. “Will you at least explain to coach why you can’t make it?”   
  
“What part of  _ it’s personal _ are you not comprehending?!” Taeyong exploded, trying to control his reaction and rein his anger back in. He was too heated and too embarrassed about the reason. How could he even begin to explain to Hanbin what he had to skip out on practice for?  _ Sorry I can’t make it, I have to sit through two hours of being told that I have a demon inside of me, two hours of praying to a god that I don’t even believe in to save me. _ Hanbin would never understand, not with the supportive family he had.   
  
Hanbin tightened his fingers around his forearms and tried to keep his breaths slow. That temptation to ask Taeyong outright about everything he’d talked to Woosung about was rearing up again, even though he knew he couldn’t risk it. But he couldn’t stop thinking about it! Couldn’t stop wondering if they had guessed correctly. What was he doing on Wednesday nights that had him busy? Did it have to do with his family? If his father was so homophobic, was his grandmother the same way?   
  
“Look, I don’t mean to keep harping, but coach is going to ask me why you can’t make it. It’ll look back on you if you don’t explain yourself. You don’t have to tell me, but tell him.”   
  
“Will you quit harassing me if I tell him, then?” Taeyong asked, though he had zero intentions of telling their coach anything.   
  
Hanbin nodded. “Yes, I promise.”   
  
Taeyong sighed and glared at him one last time. “Fine. I’ll talk to him, then, so he knows that you didn’t do anything wrong.”   
  
Hanbin hated that he was walking away from this blow up with nothing to show for it, but he couldn’t keep pushing. “Thanks. I’m really just trying to look out for you, okay?”   
  
“Don’t,” Taeyong spat back, enraged at the comment, “I don’t need  _ anyone _ looking out for me, least of all you.” He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, turning and stomping away down the hall, incensed and angry that he’d let Hanbin waste so much of his time. But he was also angry at Woosung. Okay,  _ maybe _ he hadn’t said anything and Hanbin had just picked it up on his own. But maybe not. Maybe his only friend here really was a snitch for his ex. He wanted to find him and ask, but he also thought that maybe he ought to give it a few days and calm down first.   
  
He’d keep his mouth shut in the meantime. Just to be safe.   
  


* * *

  
“It’s not like I was pushing for the topic, you know? He brought it up himself, naturally, and I just followed through.”   
  
It was obvious from the look on Junhoe’s face that he didn’t buy it. “Mmhmm, sure you did.”   
  
“I did! I just asked him why he couldn’t come, which I was fully in my rights as captain to do. He’s the one who brought up his grandmother. I just took the offered opportunity to ask why he was living with her.” It was a half truth, really. He’d pushed a  _ little, _ but it hadn’t been anything drastic!   
  
“Why don’t I believe that?” Junhoe replied with a grin. “You like to fish for information. You always have. It’s like your favourite game.”   
  
Hanbin glared at Junhoe, annoyed that he seemed to be taking some kind of condescending position. “Seriously?”   
  
Junhoe nodded. “You do it to me all the time, you always have. When you know I have something that I don’t want to tell you, you find some way to manipulate me into bringing it up myself. It’s a dirty habit.”   
  
Hanbin frowned. “It doesn’t count with you, we’re best friends.”   
  
Junhoe scoffed at the response. “Are you kidding me? The fact that we’re best friends makes it even  _ worse _ that you do it to me! If you can’t respect my silence on a topic, why would you respect anyone else’s? You just push everyone because you like to know everything.”   
  
Hanbin paused for a moment, searching Junhoe’s face and finding an unusually serious and offended expression. “Are you upset with me?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged, but smiled at the last second. “No, I’m used to it and honestly? Most of the time when you push me it’s for my own good. But it’s still a bit of a dick move, though.”   
  
Hanbin frowned and tried not to look too upset. “I never thought I’d live to see the day that you try and lecture me about something.” It actually felt a little humbling to think that Junhoe was calling him out on poor behaviour.   
  
“I know, right?” Junhoe replied with a laugh. “Usually it’s always the other way around! I’m always the one fucking up, finally you’re having your day.”   
  
Hanbin sighed, not wanting to give in but seeing that he wouldn’t just be able to complain the way he wanted to. “So you really think I fucked up with Taeyong?”   
  
Junhoe had to bite back another laugh. “Are you kidding me?  _ Absolutely. _ Woosung trusted you with information, and you promised him you wouldn’t ask Taeyong about it. Two days later and you can’t keep your mouth shut.”   
  
Hanbin looked away at the wall, unable to handle the thought that Junhoe almost seemed  _ disappointed _ in him. “Well, it wouldn’t have come up if it hadn’t been for him missing practice.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, amused at how cowed Hanbin seemed at the moment. He wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen him like this before. It felt both victorious and weird. “Still, you shouldn’t have said shit. You can’t force someone to open up to you, especially when you know they don’t like you. Sometimes you just have to step back and let other people do the work. Like with me and Jinan at first. We never would have been friends if it hadn’t been for you working your magic behind the scenes. If he’d come up to me and tried to apologize and be my friend after that first tournament, I’d have knocked his teeth out.”   
  
Hanbin sighed and looked at Junhoe. “So what are you saying? I’m Jinan and Taeyong is you?”   
  
Junhoe grinned. “Yes. And Woosung is now playing your role, and you have to let him play it. I know you hate stepping back, but you really can’t push Taeyong, especially not if there’s some serious shit going on with his dad. You have to respect his right to privacy. Don’t abuse your authority as captain.”   
  
Hanbin sighed and looked back at the wall, bothered that Junhoe of all people was calling him out. It was worse because everything he was saying was true, and it stung. “Fine.”   
  
Junhoe had a sudden thought hit him then, and as much as he was tempted to keep teasing Hanbin, he decided to voice it anyway. “I think you’re so desperate for Taeyong to tell you he’s gay because you just want to protect him from his dad.”   
  
Hanbin was surprised to hear him say it. “You think so?”   
  
Junhoe nodded, and it was actually kind of funny to him. “After bringing Dong into our little gay flock last year and then having Yun hyung join, you just want more insecure gay guys to protect.”   
  
Hanbin frowned, unsure if Junhoe was joking or being serious. “Is that your take on the situation?”   
  
Junhoe grinned. “Yeah, it’s kind of cute, actually. You’ve got a good heart, don’t let anyone tell you differently, even me.”   
  
Hanbin glared at him. “Oh fuck off, I can tell you’re just teasing me now!” Hanbin crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed.   
  
“I am not!” Junhoe replied, even though he’d started laughing. “Honestly, you’re like the Pied Piper of gay guys now. Even Woosung is coming back.”   
  
Hanbin thought about strangling him. “We’re just friends!”   
  
“Sure,” Junhoe replied teasingly, “I’ve seen the way his eyes follow you, by the way. Inviting you out to his rap showcase? How did he react when you brought Bobby?” Junhoe hadn’t had the opportunity to ask Hanbin about it yet, but he’d laughed when Jinhwan had shared Bobby’s version of events with him.   
  
Hanbin glared even harder at him. “It wasn’t a problem because we’re  _ just friends. _ Besides, it was really cool, he’s got a good following. Met some of his rap friends too, they’re cool guys. One of them is super gorgeous, even. Like actor-level gorgeous.”   
  
Junhoe grinned at the sudden shift in conversation. “Oh is he? Does Bobby know you’re ogling guys?”   
  
Hanbin finally grinned back at him. “Bobby actually called him gorgeous first,” he explained, and it was even true. They’d talked about pretty boy Jaewon and his wandering eyes as soon as they’d left the club. It had been refreshing to talk about some other guy’s looks with Bobby. It felt like they’d levelled up in their relationship, being able to admit another guy’s attractiveness and not be jealous. It was a sign of maturity.   
  
“Hook up with him for a threesome, then,” Junhoe teased.   
  
“Tempting, and honestly? With the way he kept making eyes at me, I think it could actually happen.”   
  
Junhoe laughed, curious now about what this guy looked like. “Well keep me updated.”   
  
“I will, don’t worry. How are things with Jinhwan? Did he find a place in LA yet?” Now that the serious tone of discussing Taeyong was over, Hanbin wanted to get an idea of how Junhoe was handling things with Jinhwan.   
  
“He’s in talks with some guy his old trainer knows, but hasn’t signed anything yet. He’s pretty hopeful, though. Said it’s right in between where he needs to be, and the guy seems nice.”   
  
Hanbin studied Junhoe’s face as he talked, surprised that he was speaking about it so openly without any difficulty. “How are you handling it?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged. “I’m okay. I mean it’s weird, how close it’s getting. But he did delay his flight a few more weeks, so it gives us more time. I’m just trying not to think about it too much, you know?”   
  
Hanbin nodded, reaching out to pat Junhoe’s leg. “Yeah, it’s gonna suck when he leaves. I’m gonna miss him too, and I know it’s going to kill Bobby.”   
  
Junhoe grinned, because even though he didn’t want to think about how he’d be without Jinhwan, he knew that he was going to be a mess, and he knew that Hanbin would be on cheer up duty. “You’re gonna be screwed, you know that, right? You’ll have two moping guys to look after.”   
  
Hanbin smirked at him. “Oh? You think I’m gonna be at your broken hearted beck and call?”   
  
Junhoe smacked the hand off his leg. “You better be, asshole! It’s your fault we started dating, so it’s only right that you have to suffer when he leaves.”   
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “I’ll pass you off to Donghyuk.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, a gleam in his eye. “I’ll still harass you, don’t you worry. If you’re not doing your duty I’ll come visit and cry to your mom. She’ll kick your ass.”   
  
Hanbin punched his leg. “Don’t you dare! Be a grown up. If you’re old enough to fuck it up, you’re old enough to suck it up.” Hanbin winked at him, laughing when Junhoe reached out and physically shoved him over.   
  
“You’re a shitty best friend, Bin.”   
  
Hanbin grinned at him from the bed. “I love you too!”   
  
Junhoe frowned back at him. “I didn’t say I loved you, though!”   
  
“Don’t make me call Hanbyul in here to make you declare your affection for me!” Hanbin replied, laughing when Junhoe flipped him off. A few seconds later though, and Junhoe was lying down next to him on the bed, a rare moment of vulnerability on display.   
  
“I know you’re gonna be worried about Bobby too, but can I have you for that first night, when he leaves?” Junhoe was surprised at himself for asking. But as hard as he was trying to keep his cool about Jinhwan leaving, he knew deep down that he was going to be broken up that first night. He didn’t want to do it alone.   
  
Hanbin smiled at the request, not even thinking about teasing him. “Of course you can, I promise I’ll be yours, okay?”   
  
Junhoe felt better hearing him say it. “Thanks, Bin.” It was still months away, at least.   
  


* * *

  
“So, I went to this hip hop mic night at a club, one of Hanbin’s friends was performing and invited us out. I met some other friends of his, and started talking about making music. One of the guys writes songs for an idol company. Made me think about what I want to do.” Bobby was on break at work, sitting on the dock next to his brother.   
  
“You thinking music?” Jiun asked in surprise.   
  
Bobby nodded. “I’ve always had it in the back of my head. Never realized it was a legit option though, but after talking to him I’m wondering if I should pursue it. What do you think? I don’t know how well I’d do, money-wise.”   
  
Jiun nodded, understanding the concern. “Would it make you happy, though?”   
  
“Yeah, I think so. I mean I can still work here, of course, and honestly it’s a good job because it gives me time to think about lyrics anyway. But then I could start out doing music too.” Bobby had been thinking about it non-stop, actually, ever since he’d talked to Jiho about it.   
  
“Are you going to start performing at the mic nights?” Jiun asked.   
  
Bobby nodded. “Maybe. I’ve been writing a lot of lyrics, it would be a good place to test myself.”   
  
Jiun smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder. “You should go for it. Do what you’re passionate about.”   
  
“I know, I just worry, you know.” As much as he’d been excited about the prospect of learning to make music, he couldn’t shake the other feeling that was settling in his gut.   
  
“About what?” Jiun asked.   
  
Bobby paused, because he could say a number of things in order to hide his biggest concern. But he didn’t like hiding things from Jiun, and his brother always gave him sound advice. “About Hanbin.”   
  
“Have you talked to him about this?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. He was trying not to stress himself out too much, but every now and then he thought about his relationship and wondered when they were going to talk about their future together. Now with this new music thing, time was ticking even faster.  “No, but I’m pretty sure he’ll tell me to go for it. But then there’s that stupid part of my brain.”   
  
Jiun nodded, like he knew exactly what Bobby was about to say. “Right, the part that tells you that you should be more serious.”   
  
Bobby nodded, relieved he’d figured it out himself. “Yeah, that part. I know right now he’d want me to do what I want, but what happens when we’re older? What if doing music isn’t good enough? Then I’ve wasted years that I could have spent using to get a stable job.”   
  
Jiun squeezed his shoulder again. “Jiwon, here’s my advice. Let Hanbin be the serious one, you know he’s more suited for that kind of a life than you are. Our family’s got too much art on the brain, we’re terrible office workers. If you don’t pursue your passion, you’ll be miserable in whatever job you end up doing. Look at dad, you’re just like him. Remember when he gave up painting to work three jobs so we could have more money?”   
  
Bobby hated thinking about that period in their lives. “Yeah, he was miserable.”   
  
“You were a lot younger then, so I don’t know how much you remember. But mom almost left him. It wasn’t until they agreed that we’d live with less money, so he could stop overworking and have time to pick up painting again. And now they’re happier than ever, because even though dad’s working a job he doesn’t like, he still has time to pursue his passions. No matter how in love you and Hanbin are in the future, if you’re miserable, it’ll tear you apart.”   
  
Bobby nodded, grateful to Jiun for saying it. “True. And it’s not like he’s ever said anything, or his parents have said anything. I still worry they won’t like my decision anyway. His dad runs his own company, started it from the ground up. I just worry that even though he likes me as a person, I don’t know if he thinks I’m good enough for his son.” Bobby had never voiced that concern out loud before, and it felt liberating to get it off his shoulders.   
  
“So go visit Hanbin at home with his parents there and bring it up. See how they react. You’re young, I can guarantee they don’t expect you to have everything figured out.”   
  
Bobby shrugged. “Hanbin has everything figured out.”   
  
“Maybe, but you’re not Hanbin. They know you’re not Hanbin, and they still like you, right? So don’t go there expecting that they’re going to shoot you down. They might surprise you.”   
  
Bobby felt better hearing it from Jiun, but this sort of thing was always easier to talk about than it was to do. “Yeah, it’s easy to say, but I’m still nervous.”   
  
Jiun laughed at that comment. “Get used to it, being nervous is part of being an adult.”   
  
Bobby was silent for a moment, looking at his brother and hoping he’d get an honest answer. “Hyung, are you happy with your choices in life? Do you wish you’d done things differently?”   
  
Jiun shook his head. “No. Sometimes I think about what things would be like if I’d made different choices, gone to school to try and get an education for some corporate job, but it’s always unknown. I know that right now, I’m happy. I have an amazing girlfriend, that I’m probably going to marry one day and start a family with. We’re a great match, we compliment each other well. We both have great families that support us. We might not have a lot of money, but we do well enough to be comfortable. That’s more important than anything. Because having a good job that pays a lot might make us both miserable, despite having more money. Better to do what you enjoy. Makes life less stressful.”   
  
Bobby felt comforted by his answer. “You’re right.”   
  
“Having said that, I still worry occasionally that I’m not making the right choices. But mom and dad never had a lot of money, and we were fine. Jeeyoung and I can do the same.” Jiun ruffled a hand through Bobby’s hair, grinning at him. “You should stick with Hanbin though, cause he’ll probably be rich like his dad. Then you won’t have to worry about anything.”   
  
Bobby grinned despite the tease, feeling at ease. “Funny, hyung, total laugh.”   
  
“Just focus on doing things that make you happy, Jiwon. That’s the best advice I can give you. Things will either work out, or they won’t. But you can’t put some potential fairytale future ahead of what’s best for you right now. You have to be true to yourself, and just hope that that’s going to work for your relationship.”   
  
Bobby nodded, nervous about putting that advice into practice. But he knew that Jiun was right.   
  
“Besides, from what I can see, Hanbin seems to like you an awful lot. You have to trust in that gut feeling that your partner’s love for you is strong enough to let you take chances. Both of you are equally as important in your relationship. Make sure you remember that. It’s easy to get caught up in prioritizing your partner’s feelings over your own. You both have ideas and passions, so make sure you talk about them.”   
  
Jiun’s advice made him feel better, and Bobby turned to face his brother, hugging him tightly. “Thanks, hyung. I really appreciate that.”   
  
“That’s what I’m here for,” Jiun replied, “well, that and kicking your ass when you need it.”   
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “Hey, have you seen my biceps? I could probably crush your neck if I wanted to.”   
  
“I’d like to see you try,” Jiun replied, “all the muscles in the world won’t save you from my martial arts.”   
  
Bobby hopped up from the dock, feeling lighter now after their conversation. “Maybe I’ve picked a few things up from Jinhwan, so you should be worried.”   
  
Jiun followed him up. “I could take that little shrimp in his sleep.”   
  
“I’m gonna tell him you said that!”   
  
Jiun grinned back at him. “Go ahead. There’s no way he’ll believe you.” They split up then, heading to their own areas, and Bobby was eager to get back to work, deciding to follow up on his brother’s advice. He’d go over to Hanbin’s and talk about his music plans in front of Hanbin’s parents. Then he’d get his answers.


	7. Ready To Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe and Donghyuk tease a ruffled Hanbin about Woosung right after he's had to sit through chemistry with Taeyong; Woosung takes Taeyong out to a PC cafe for some gaming, but Taeyong questions his loyalty and everything comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was originally going to be some JunHwan in this chapter, but I realized some of my scenes were really out of order, so I shuffled two chapters around. So no JunHwan this week. I promise more attention is coming to them soon, I just have to get through this bit of set up.

> _"And I guess I'll just begin again  
>  _  _You say can we still be friends?"  
>  _                             "[Ready To Start](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwdUVjyxWrM)" Arcade Fire  
>    
> 

* * *

Thursday morning found Taeyong in an irritable mood. He’d slept poorly (an after effect of his Wednesday night _therapy_ sessions) and had argued with his grandmother before leaving. He’d just suffered through history (his least favourite subject) and was on his way to his other least favourite class—chemistry.  
  
He actually loved chemistry as a subject. There was something about breaking things down into base ingredients and learning how they all functioned together in different ways that was soothing to his brain. Maybe it was just because things like chemistry served as proof that with the necessary components, known reactions always happened. Like being gay. Chemical reactions were never a choice. They happened by design.  
  
The thing he hated about chemistry class wasn’t the class itself—it was his lab partner.  
  
Hanbin.  
  
He’d calmly asked their teacher, Mr. Kang, if he could switch partners after that first lab. Unfortunately for him, Mr. Kang had disagreed with his request and instead had now taken it upon himself to try and help them become friends. Which would never happen. Especially not after the bullshit Hanbin had pulled a few days ago. Taeyong was still bothered about it, and had decided to finally approach Woosung about it when they hung out later that night. He’d given himself a few days to gather his thoughts.  
  
But first he’d have to sit through a lab next to Hanbin, and he wondered if Hanbin would ask him about what he’d done last night that had kept him from basketball practice. It would be just like him, trying to weasel the information out of him again.  
  
Hanbin made it into class seconds before the bell rang, which annoyed Taeyong. Everything he did was irritating. He’d be annoying whether he got to class early or late. Taeyong watched him settle at the desk out of the corner of his eye, glaring at him for good measure. Mr. Kang began discussing the lab for that day, explaining what they’d be doing before setting them to work, and Taeyong half-listened while he continued being annoyed in Hanbin’s general direction.  
  
That turned out to be a poor decision on his part.  
  
“Gentlemen, what do I keep telling you?” Mr. Kang said with an annoyingly cheery lilt to his voice, approaching their desk with a smile, “there’s no room for bad blood in chemistry!”  
  
Taeyong groaned at the comment, knowing where this was going. He turned his attention to their teacher, who was looking far too happy for mid-morning on a Thursday. But he glanced at Hanbin again, seeing that his partner at least looked just as annoyed as he felt.  
  
“I think you need to take all those issues that exist between you and barium!” Mr. Kang joked, laughing to himself. Taeyong couldn’t stop himself from turning to Hanbin, who’d turned to him at the same time, both of them wearing twin expressions of sheer exasperation. Donghyuk snickered from the table next to them, which made Hanbin that much more annoyed.  
  
“Hanbin, did I tell you I have a new dog?” Mr. Kang asked, grinning at him.  
  
Hanbin sighed before replying. “No sir, you didn’t.”  
  
“Ask me what breed he is.” Mr. Kang demanded, leaning forward on the table.  
  
Hanbin tried to keep his expression as calm as possible while he played into the teacher’s question. “What breed is he, sir?”  
  
“He’s a laboratory retriever!” Mr. Kang laughed again, and Hanbin looked back at Taeyong, who shook his head in mutual contempt.  
  
“Taeyong! Do you know why chemists like nitrates so much?” Mr. Kang asked, turning to grin at Taeyong, who bit the inside of his cheek to keep from making an annoyed retort.  
  
“No sir, I do not.”  
  
“Because they’re cheaper than day rates!”  
  
Taeyong closed his eyes and clenched his fists under the table. “Sir, please, can we work?”  
  
Mr. Kang wasn’t fazed by their cool reactions. “Oh boys I’m sorry, I can’t help but make bad chemistry jokes, because all the good ones argon!”  
  
Donghyuk chuckled again and Hanbin actually whined. “Sir, please, can we get started?”  
  
Mr. Kang grinned, clapping his hands together as he left the table. “You can groan all you want, but mission accomplished! You’re not glaring at each other anymore! Get to work.”  
  
Hanbin glanced at Taeyong again and had to admit that he was right—in the face of a common enemy Taeyong had actually looked at him in commiseration instead of anger. Hanbin looked back at his textbook and tried not to smile about it. The jokes were terrible, sure, but he supposed that maybe it was worth it after all, if it got Taeyong to be less frosty towards him. It was actually a sweet gesture on Mr. Kang’s part.  
  
Taeyong, on the other hand, was annoyed and embarrassed that they’d been bothered by him _again._ Their behaviour wasn’t distracting anyone, and it wasn’t affecting their work. Why was Mr. Kang sticking his nose into their business? He wasn’t in chemistry class to make friends. He just wanted to get his work done in peace and quiet.  
  
Soon the class was filled again with chatter, and while they worked Hanbin was pleased that Taeyong wasn’t being openly hostile. He thought about Junhoe’s advice, to not be pushy. He wanted to make conversation, wanted to try and apologize for being pushy on Monday. But it was better if he said nothing instead. Taeyong would appreciate silence more than an apology.  
  
By the time they finished they’d managed to get through their lab work perfectly, and Mr. Kang complimented their good teamwork. Not many of the others had managed to achieve the same perfect results they’d gotten, and Hanbin hoped that maybe their good results would put Taeyong in a friendlier mood.  
  
But Taeyong was in no mood to be friendly. He quietly packed his things away when they finished, annoyed that he’d had to do the lab next to Hanbin with Mr. Kang continually watching them with a stupid smile on his face. He just wanted to get out of the class as quickly as possible. He grabbed his bag and made a bee-line for the door, not bothering to say goodbye.  
  
“It’s like he thinks he’s being timed when the bell rings,” Donghyuk teased, slinging his bag over his shoulder.  
  
“I can’t believe he just left without even saying goodbye.” Hanbin complained, shouldering his own bag as they headed for the door.  
  
“Just couldn’t wait to get away from you, could he?” Donghyuk said with a grin, not wanting to laugh but unable to help himself.  
  
Hanbin knew he probably sounded petulant and whiny, but he needed to complain before they got to lunch. “How do I do this? How do I just ignore this problem we have and wait for it to resolve on its own? I can’t do it. I’m not cut out for this sort of thing.”  
  
Donghyuk put an arm around his shoulders, mockingly comforting. “It’s a tough life, Hanbin, I feel your pain.”  
  
“Oh shut up, don’t make fun of me, I’m being serious!”  
  
Donghyuk tightened his arm and pulled him closer. “I know, and it’s cute. You just have to be patient, though. Taeyong doesn’t seem like someone you can rush. The more you press with him, the more he’ll retreat, right? You just have to accept that.”  
  
“I know, I just can’t do that. Especially not if we’re lab partners! Basketball is already bad enough.” They walked into the cafeteria together, seeing Junhoe already seated at their usual table with his tray of food. They quickly got in line and joined him a minute later.  
  
“How did it go? Didn’t blow anything up?” Junhoe teased as Hanbin sat down next to him.  
  
“The lab went well, but Mr. Kang started it off with his worst set of jokes yet.” Hanbin whined.  
  
Donghyuk grinned and sat across from Junhoe. “They were terrible.”  
  
Junhoe smirked, happy to hear about Hanbin’s discomfort. “How did Taeyong react to them?”  
  
Hanbin sighed. “I hate to admit it, but it did work. Before that Taeyong was glaring _at_ me, but after the jokes started rolling we were a solidified team working together against a common enemy.”  
  
Donghyuk laughed. “You know as lame as the jokes were, they were still kind of funny. I liked that argon one.”  
  
Hanbin frowned at him. “Pretty sure you were the only one who laughed at them.”  
  
Donghyuk stuck his tongue out. “I’m sorry you’re afraid of a good time.”  
  
Junhoe noticed movement and looked up to see someone approaching their table. He nudged Hanbin. “Speaking of good times, Woosung’s on his way over.” Hanbin looked up then, catching sight of his ex-boyfriend approaching them.  
  
“Hey Bin, just wanted to check and see if you were planning on coming out to Compton again this week?” Woosung asked, standing in front of Hanbin, holding his tray.  
  
Hanbin smiled at him but shook his head. “I would, but I have boxing training Friday night, sorry! I have a tournament in two weeks, so my trainer’s on my case about practicing for it.”  
  
Woosung’s expression dropped into one of disappointment for a brief moment before perking back up to cover it. “Oh, that sucks. Good luck with your tournament, though! Which one is this?”  
  
“It’s an elite level, so smaller size.” Woosung had come to many of his boxing tournaments when they’d been together, so he was familiar with the differing competitions.  
  
“Cool, where is it? They still doing them at that same gym?”  
  
Hanbin nodded. “Yeah, same place as when you used to come.”  
  
Woosung smiled. “Cool, how are you doing this year?”  
  
“Good as always. You wanna come watch me pound some guys into the ground?” Hanbin offered, figuring it was only fair, since Woosung had invited him to his rap night.  
  
Woosung’s smile brightened up considerably. “Yeah, actually that’d be cool! I always enjoyed watching you box.”  
  
Hanbin smiled back at him. “Awesome, I’ll text you the details! Sorry again about Friday. I’ll come out again after the tournament, cause I really enjoyed it.”  
  
“Yeah of course! It’s every week, same place, so not hard to find.” Woosung replied, looking pleased with himself.  
  
“Bobby said he’s probably going to go, he’s been hanging out with your friend Jiho.” Hanbin mentioned, wondering if Jiho had said anything to Woosung.  
  
“Yeah, Jiho mentioned he was teaching Bobby some stuff, like beat production. If Jiho actually gets him to perform this week, I’ll give you my honest review since you won’t be there.” Woosung replied, winking at him.  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “Brutally honest if need be!”  
  
“Brutally honest then! Anyway I’ll see you later. Text me the info about your boxing thing, okay?”  
  
“I will, I promise. See you!” Woosung left their table and Hanbin watched as he walked over to where Taeyong was sitting. It felt a little weird to think about Woosung wanting to come see his boxing again, but Woosung had always been fun to have around. He and Junhoe had seemed to get along better at Hanbin’s tournaments then they did at any other time.  
  
“Damn, Hanbin, are you breaking his heart again?” Donghyuk teased.  
  
“What?” Hanbin frowned.  
  
“Dong’s not lying, you can see the hearts in Woosung’s eyes when he looks at you.” Junhoe joined in the teasing.  
  
“Both of you, fuck off. We’re just friends, okay? Stop making it into something more than it is.” Hanbin didn’t think it was a big deal, the two of them hanging out again. It was good to be on friend terms.  
  
“Bet Woosung would love to make it into more than it is. Coming to watch you at boxing! Dropping those questions all subtle-like, thinking we wouldn’t notice.” Donghyuk replied, highly amused.  
  
Hanbin looked at him in confusion. “What questions?”  
  
Donghyuk gave him a look back, lik he was being purposefully dense. “Oh the whole _are your tournaments still where they used to be_ sort of thing. Like making that connection that he used to go all the time. I’m telling you, he’s still interested in you.” Donghyuk said with a smug smile.  
  
Hanbin sighed and picked up his chopsticks. “Well I’m not interested in this conversation.”  
  
“No problem, Dong and I can talk about it ourselves.” Junhoe teased, much to Hanbin’s irritation. But they dropped the subject in favour of eating, at least for a few minutes.  
  
“Junhoe I keep meaning to ask, your birthday’s coming up, right? Is there anything you want?” Donghyuk asked.  
  
Junhoe smiled at him before looking at Hanbin. “Do you hear that, Bin? Hear how good of a friend Dong is? Asking me what I want?”  
  
Hanbin glared back at him. “When have I ever given you a bad gift?”  
  
Junhoe patted his leg. “Never, but I’m just saying, Dong’s super thoughtful.”  
  
Donghyuk shook his head and kicked Junhoe under the table. “Thanks but can you answer my question? I don’t want to start some marital dispute between the two of you.”  
  
Hanbin laughed at the comment while Junhoe rubbed his shin. “I take it back, you’re a terrible friend.”  
  
Donghyuk grinned at him. “If you had just answered my question instead of being dramatic I wouldn’t have to resort to drastic measures.”  
  
“Don’t hold your breath, he never knows what he wants,” Hanbin said, “we can go shopping together.”  
  
“Put your money together and buy me something really expensive, I deserve it,” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Okay forget shopping, I have your gift right here,” Hanbin retorted, punching his fist into his palm.  
  
Junhoe made a face and shook his head. “Sorry bro, can’t say that I’m into fisting, but thanks for the offer.” Junhoe grinned at Hanbin while Donghyuk laughed loudly at the retort.  
  
“Okay now you’re really getting nothing.” Hanbin replied.  
  
“Fine. I’ll just spend my birthday with Jinhwan, no loss.” He looked across the table at Donghyuk. “I’ll let you know where we go in case you wanna come and bring Yunhyeong. I’ll text Hanbin incorrect information.”  
  
“We’re buying you shitty presents,” Hanbin replied, elbowing Junhoe in the arm, “I’ll tell Bobby to get Jinan in on it, then you’ll really be screwed.”  
  
“Empty threats,” Junhoe shot back, “you have too much pride to give me crappy presents. I know you too well, you don’t scare me.”  
  


* * *

  
“You like video games? Want to go to a pc cafe?” Woosung asked, itching to play some Overwatch.   
  
Taeyong wasn’t a huge fan of video games, but he wasn’t in the mood to do anything else. “Yeah sure, let’s go.”   
  
“Sweet! You cool with Overwatch?”   
  
He’d actually played that one a few times with Daehee. “Yeah, I like Overwatch.” He wasn’t great at it, but he wasn’t terrible either. They started walking to the cafe, Woosung leading the way and Taeyong following his direction.   
  
Ever since Hanbin had blurted out what he’d said about his family situation, Taeyong had been wanting to ask Woosung about it. He’d promised not to say anything, and Taeyong had chosen to trust him. But he couldn’t help but think that Woosung must have told him. He didn’t want Hanbin knowing aspects of his personal life. Not from someone else, at least.   
  
So Taeyong was going to get his reaction when he wasn’t expecting it. It wasn’t that he’d cut Woosung off if he’d said something, because as much as he liked to say that he was fine on his own, it was nice to have a friend. It seemed like Woosung genuinely wanted to be his friend, so if it turned out that he couldn’t trust him not to tell Hanbin his secrets, then he’d just stop telling Woosung things.   
  
They arrived at the cafe and Woosung booked them in, then suggested they get some food while they were there. Taeyong agreed and went with his recommendations, not necessarily hungry yet but wanting to lull Woosung into a relaxed state before he sprung his question on him.   
  
They sat down at their computers, logging in and setting up characters. The whole process reminded Taeyong of Daehee, made him wistful for that time before all of this had started. Daehee still texted him every day, though Taeyong didn’t always reply. He missed Daehee, but he was also wary of him. Daehee always seemed to be fishing for information on how things were going, asking him about his  _ therapy _ and his new pastor. Taeyong could only lie so much.   
  
It didn’t take long for their session to start up and once it did Taeyong managed to lose himself in the game, sucked in by the need for teamwork. He didn’t have time to think about himself when he had multiple guys talking to him over their headsets, plotting their moves in the game. He was surprised that he managed to hold his own well enough, not dying. Woosung was actually quite good, and managed to take out two members of the opposing team.   
  
They played for forty minutes, stopping only when their food came. Taeyong was actually hungry, feeling grateful that he’d just let Woosung order. The final kill in-game had been Woosung’s, and Taeyong made sure to compliment him on his superior skills. It seemed to make Woosung happy, who explained that he played the game a lot. Taeyong listened in pretended interest, just biding his time until he felt it was the right moment to spring the unexpected question on him.   
  
The moment came when he finished his ramen, putting the bowl aside and staring straight at Woosung.   
  
“Did you tell Hanbin what I told you about my dad?” He fixed his eyes on Woosung, whose expression immediately gave him away. Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek to keep from looking annoyed.   
  
“I know I told you I wouldn’t, and I’m sorry.” Woosung apologized immediately, not bothering to deny it.   
  
“Why?” Taeyong asked, curious about what he’d have to say.   
  
Woosung held his eye contact, at least, not trying to shy away from it. “He asked me what I knew, said he wanted to understand your situation. I told him to ask you himself, but he said you wouldn’t talk to him.”   
  
“He’s right, I wouldn’t. I don’t want him knowing my business.”   
  
Woosung frowned. “I understand. It was rude of me to just share it with him. But at the same time, I know him, and even though you guys have a heated past, he wants to work with you now because of basketball. He means well.”   
  
Taeyong was silent for a moment, trying to decide whether he ought to press the situation or not. On one hand, at least Woosung had been honest immediately. And it’s not like he’d gone to Hanbin. Hanbin had asked. And he’d only asked Woosung because he himself refused to tell him anything.   
  
“Taeyong? I understand if you feel like you don’t trust me anymore, but I do think you should give him a chance. You don’t have to be friends, or anything, but just don’t be enemies.”   
  
Taeyong shook his head. “We’ll never be friends, and honestly I don’t care if he doesn’t like me. All I care about is that he respects me.”   
  
“That’s fair, but if you want him to respect you, then you need to respect him too.” Woosung wasn’t backing down from his opinion, and it made Taeyong feel slightly ruffled.   
  
“When have I been disrespectful to him?”   
  
Woosung fixed him with an incredulous look. “You’re constantly fighting with him over basketball, demanding equality that isn’t even his place to give you. Don’t fight with him, because that won’t help anything.”   
  
Taeyong shrugged and looked away. “I don’t like feeling like he’s superior to me.”   
  
“But there’s nothing that can be done about that. You’re coming into that team after being a heated rival. You have to remember that Hanbin worked his ass off to have the respect he has from those guys. A lot of them didn’t want him on the team anymore when he came out. They might not have said it to his face, but I heard about it from other people. But he kept his nose down, didn’t flaunt himself, and proved his position. Now everyone on that team practically worships him. You can’t just be put on the same pedestal because your skills match. None of the other guys will accept you without Hanbin’s consent. You’ll always be the black sheep, you have to accept that.”   
  
Taeyong knew it was the truth, but he still didn’t like hearing it. “Well that’s my other problem. I don’t want to feel like I owe him anything. But he’s trying to be this caring and concerned guy, like all of a sudden he wants to be my friend, and I don’t need him as a friend. I just need him to let me do my thing and not get all high and mighty.”   
  
Woosung knew it was a touchy situation, but it was still sad. The more time he spent with Taeyong, the more he could see that underneath his prickly, angry exterior, there was someone that was actually a fun person to be around. He thought that Taeyong and Hanbin would actually be good friends if the opportunity ever presented itself. “Just because someone helps you, it doesn’t mean you owe them. He’s the captain, it’s his role to help you fit in with the team.”   
  
Taeyong shook his head, annoyed with the explanation. “I don’t care about fitting in.”   
  
“You should. Why play a team sport if you don’t care about being a good member of the team? You should play some solo sport, like tennis or track. But you picked the team sport. So you can’t try and be an individual, it won’t work out for you.”   
  
Taeyong’s fingers curled around his forearms, irritated with the response. He knew it stung because Woosung had a point. At the end of the day, he’d never get anywhere if he didn’t try with his new team, Hanbin included. It’s not that he wanted to hate everyone, because he didn’t. The others were just an easy outlet for his aggression, a way to wallow in his bitterness over having his entire life uprooted.   
  
“I know it’s not fair to you to be the outsider who has to try harder, especially not in your last year. You had your own team, and I’m sure you miss them.”   
  
Taeyong shook his head. “They can all rot in hell for all I care.”   
  
Woosung raised his eyebrows, showing at the strong display of anger. “Well, that’s a heated statement. I thought you were still friends?”   
  
Taeyong crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. “Not really. There’s one I still talk to, but even that’s strained.”   
  
Woosung wasn’t sure if now was the right time to push, but he was so curious and even though he’d just breached Taeyong’s trust, he was still compelled to offer his ear. “What happened? I know it’s a touchy subject, and I’ve tried not to ask about it. But if it was just your dad you were fighting, that’s one thing. But when you tell me that your old teammates hate you too, what am I supposed to think?”   
  
Taeyong bristled at the question, momentarily panicked that he’d said too much. “Think whatever you want to think.”   
  
Woosung paused for a moment, debating if now was the time to ask. But if not now, then when? “I think you’re gay.”   
  
Taeyong froze at the statement. He’d been expecting it one of these days, had been wondering how long it would take for Woosung to label it. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He half wanted to tell him, and half didn’t. But it wasn’t something he could easily keep hiding.   
  
Woosung didn’t want to risk his friendship, but at the same time he felt like this would only make them closer, wouldn’t it? “Can you just admit it to me? I won’t tell Hanbin, I promise. This is different than your living arrangements.”    
  
Taeyong refused to look at him, annoyed at him for bringing it up. He couldn’t believe he’d let Woosung flip everything around on him!   
  
Woosung carried on when it didn’t seem like Taeyong was going to deny it right away. “When you kept hanging out with me after I told you who I was, I started wondering then if you were gay too. Otherwise why would you be friends with me? You could go find more popular guys. I think you want me as a friend because you knew I wouldn’t turn on you after finding out.”   
  
Taeyong had to fight down the urge to flee. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he hated himself for it. He wasn’t that damn weak. He blinked them back and still couldn’t bring himself to look at Woosung.   
  
“Dude, if you don’t say anything I’m just going to take that to mean you’re gay. If you don’t want to talk about it, cool but if you do, well, I’m here. Don’t just keep that shit to yourself.”   
  
Taeyong didn’t want to tell him, but he knew that he also couldn’t hide it either. He’d slip eventually, or Woosung would find some way to weasel it out of him. “I’m fine, okay? I don’t need to talk about shit. But to answer your question, yes. I am. That’s why my dad kicked me out, and that’s why everyone I knew hates me now.”   
  
Woosung wasn’t sure what to say. He was grateful that Taeyong had told him, but now that he knew… It was tough to think of the right thing to say. While his family weren’t keen on him being gay, they’d never turn on him for it. His mother had cried, sure, and his dad was still awkward to him sometimes, but they still cared about him and defended him when needed.   
  
But Taeyong’s parents had thrown him out, and his old friends had turned on him. Woosung couldn’t help but feel protective of him.   
  
Taeyong took a sip of his drink, finally feeling like he had a hold on himself now. He wasn’t on the verge of crying anymore, at least, and now he didn’t have to hide it from Woosung. He wasn’t sure why he’d broken down and trusted him a second time, but he hoped Woosung wouldn’t fuck him over.   
  
“Well, now you know. Don’t tell anyone this time.”   
  
“I won’t, I promise.” Woosung intended to keep his promise, no matter how many times Hanbin looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes.   
  
Taeyong nodded, still surprised at his decision. “Good. So, you want to get back to Overwatch?”   
  
Woosung was taken aback by the sudden shift, but he wouldn’t press him about it. Taeyong had trusted him a second time. Woosung wouldn’t break it.   
  
“Yeah, let’s go wreck some straight dudes.”


	8. Rain Or Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby discusses his future in music in front of Hanbin's parents, then takes Hanbyul to see a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's just Double B and Hanbin's family, sorry! The others will be back next chapter. :)

> _ "Rain or shine it's you and me  
>  Cut me a heart on a tree and say  
>  It's forever, not a year and a day"  
>                                _ "[Rain Or Shine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOXjoLf-bLw)" Five Star

* * *

 

Saturday morning found Bobby on his way to his boyfriend’s apartment, determined to casually discuss his potential future in the presence of Hanbin’s parents. He’d gone out with Jiho last night to open mic night, but hadn’t worked up the nerve to perform. He’d thought about it, had even prepared something, but as soon as he’d stepped into the club he’d called it all off in his head. He just needed more time to really think about it. Needed to know what Hanbin thought of the idea in front of his parents before he really got his heart set on it.   
  
Maybe he was putting too much emphasis on what other people thought, but he couldn’t re-write how his brain was choosing to feel about all of this. He’d wanted to talk to Jinhwan about it, but hadn’t been sure if it would just make him feel bad, given his whole situation with moving away.   
  
Bobby knew he just had to figure it out himself. If Hanbin’s parents didn’t like the idea of him pursuing some kind of career in music, then he’d just have to deal with that in his own way. There was no point in worrying for weeks when the easy thing to do would be to discuss it as soon as possible.   
  
He wasn’t coming over empty-handed, though. Recently their mothers had started conversing over text, and his mother was sending him to Hanbin’s with some freshly baked dessert, some apple thing that he didn’t really care for himself. But apparently when she’d mentioned it over text, Hanbin’s mother had expressed interest, recalling how often she used to eat it when they’d lived in California years ago.   
  
Bobby didn’t mind playing errand boy. He thought it was sweet that they were becoming friendly. His mother invested so much of herself into their family that Bobby rarely ever heard her talk about her own friends (he actually didn’t even know if she had any, because she never seemed to go out anywhere except to church or her sister’s) so the idea that she was becoming friendly with Hanbin’s mom made him happy.   
  
He stood calmly outside the door to their apartment before knocking, taking a moment to remind himself not to back down from his intended purpose once he got inside. As much as he’d come over to see Hanbin, he’d also come over to put his mind at ease, one way or another. He needed an answer.   
  
Hanbin’s mother opened the door to let him in, smiling warmly at him before calling to her son.   
  
“Here’s the dessert my mom made you, Mrs. Kim,” Bobby offered, handing the container over to her.   
  
“Ah thank you, Bobby! I appreciate you bringing it over, I’ve been dying for a good apple fritter for years, curious to see how your mom makes them!” She took the gift from him and led him into the kitchen.   
  
“It’s not a problem, I’m happy to help.”    
  
Hanbin’s father was sitting at the table, sipping a mug of coffee. “I hope they’re paying you for this, Bobby.”   
  
“Oh be quiet,” his wife teasingly scolded, “or you’re not getting any of this.”   
  
He grinned back at Bobby. “Seriously, don’t be afraid to ask for due payment, otherwise they’ll have you running all their errands.”   
  
“Hate to break it to you dad, but I’m the payment.” Hanbin said as he snuck up behind Bobby, kissing his cheek.   
  
Mr. Kim shook his head, sighing in disappointment. “Embarrassing, Hanbin. I didn’t raise you to be that lame.”   
  
“Oh I beg to differ,” Mrs. Kim interjected, “that actually sounds like something you would have said when we started dating. So it’s already been passed down genetically.”   
  
Hanbin grinned at his mother. “Thanks, mom!”   
  
Bobby felt at ease as they sat down around the table, marvelled as always at how easy it was to be around Hanbin’s parents. Usually he was super awkward when it came to interacting with the parents of his friends, but Hanbin’s parents were always so easy-going and friendly. They also seemed only too happy to bring up the topic of his future plans themselves.   
  
“So, Bobby, what are you up to now that you’re out of school? Hanbin said you’ve been working with your brother, must be nice to not have deadlines anymore, huh?”   
  
Bobby smiled at Hanbin’s mother. “It makes such a big different in the day, really. It’s just a basic job, you know unloading containers at the dock, just until I figure out what I really want.” He felt a little bolstered by their non-judgemental looks.   
  
“It’s good to take a bit of time to recharge your brain after an entire life of school,” Hanbin’s father said, “I took a year off to travel before university. Really expands your horizons, but just gives you time to relax for a bit. Lets you figure out what’s actually important to you.”   
  
Bobby was glad for the comment, it was the perfect bridge to his conversation! “I actually feel like I can be creative again, since I don’t have to think at work. I met a guy at this rap night we went to a week ago, he actually started teaching me about music production and making beats.” Now was the moment of truth—either they’d politely fake interest and try to move the topic back to university, or they’d engage him on the topic of music.   
  
Mr. Kim’s face looked excited at his comment. “Oh yeah? You think that might be something you want to get into? Music?”   
  
Bobby shrugged, not wanting to appear too serious about it just yet. “Maybe, I mean I’m just starting to learn stuff. But this guy writes music for idol companies, so it’ll be good to talk to him and really learn what goes into it all.”   
  
“That’s actually really good that you’re learning from someone who actually does it,” Mrs. Kim said, “it’ll give you an accurate idea of what goes into it all that you can’t get in a classroom environment.”   
  
Bobby smiled at her and again felt buoyed by their immediate positivity.   
  
“Do you just want to make music, or are you going to rap too?” She asked.   
  
“The guys I met want me to try rapping at an upcoming night, and I want to, but you know, I feel like I need way more practice. I never really thought about it seriously until now.”   
  
Hanbin interrupted the conversation, a sly smile on his face. “One of those guys is Woosung.”   
  
“Oh are you finally talking to him again?” His mother teased.   
  
“Fraternizing with the ex, nice.” His dad added.   
  
Hanbin grinned back at them. “It’s not a big deal, it didn’t end poorly or anything. Besides, I need to stay on his good side so he can help me out with Taeyong.”   
  
“You know that makes you sound really bad, right?” Bobby teased him. “Using your poor ex-boyfriend like that, toying with his emotions.”   
  
Hanbin fixed him with a look of indignation. “I am doing no such thing! He invited me, okay? Went out of his way, actually, practically begged me to come. Be grateful I brought you out.” He ended teasingly.   
  
“Don’t let him talk to you like that, Bobby!” Mrs. Kim interjected, grinning between the two of them.   
  
Bobby smiled back at her, reaching out to grab Hanbin’s hand. “It’s okay, actually, he’s cute. He can get away with it.”   
  
“Don’t say we didn’t warn you,” Hanbin’s dad teased, “this kid’s pretty mouthy, doesn’t know when to shut up sometimes.”   
  
“Didn’t you hear mom earlier? It’s genetic, I got it from you.” Hanbin teased back, and Bobby laughed at them, happy to hear the bantering. He felt a tremendous weight off his shoulders now that he’d broached the topic of music without so much as a single questioning look. Instead of seeming disappointed, Hanbin’s parents were truly interested.   
  
“So back to rap, Bobby, what are you looking to do? Who are you listening to these days?” Hanbin’s dad asked.   
  
Bobby knew from Hanbin’s various comments over the past year that his parents were into a lot of American rap. “My fav right now is probably Kendrick Lamar?” Bobby offered, surprised when Hanbin’s mom started laughing.   
  
“I’m sorry,” she replied, “I tease a certain someone with that song of his all the time.”   
  
Hanbin’s dad shook his head and grinned. “Yeah she’ll text me during the day when I’m at work, ask me how my day’s going, then tell me to sit down and be humble.”   
  
She grinned back at him before winking at Bobby. “It’s the little things in life we have to do to keep ourselves entertained.”   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but hold Hanbin’s parents a little in awe. They just radiated such a young energy, especially compared to his own. It was nice to see it come out, nice to watch them joke with each other about things that Bobby could relate to. It was nice to know that they felt comfortable enough around him to show their playful side.   
  
“So, Bobby, I know he’s an older artist and hasn’t really put anything out in a while, but are you familiar with Nelly?” Hanbin’s dad asked.   
  
“Oh no,” Hanbin interrupted, “you are not talking about this.”   
  
Bobby looked at Hanbin’s dad with excitement. “Yeah I know Nelly, I like his stuff.”   
  
Mr. Kim’s eyes held a mischievous glint to them. “Nelly was Hanbin’s favourite rapper back when we lived in the US.”   
  
Hanbin groaned, his whiny, petulant side coming out. “Dad! This is uncalled for.”   
  
“Oh it’s a cute story,” his mom interjected, “definitely something the boyfriend needs to know about.”   
  
Hanbin’s dad carried on. “So, Hanbin’s favourite song was ‘Shake Ya Tailfeather’ when it came out.”   
  
Bobby nodded. “Oh yeah, that was on Bad Boys, right? I like that song!”   
  
“Well, Hanbin was of course learning English at the time, so naturally with the words  _ tail _ and  _ feather _ in the title he thought the song was about birds.”   
  
“DAD!”   
  
“He used to do this stupid little bird dance every time the song was on—”   
  
“Dad shut up!” Hanbin couldn’t help the outburst, embarrassed he was bringing it up.   
  
“It looked like this, Bobby, it was honestly the cutest thing.” Hanbin’s mother stood up then, demonstrating Hanbin’s old bird dance. Bobby laughed, picturing a much younger Hanbin doing the dance.   
  
“I can’t believe you guys are laughing at this,” Hanbin grumbled, “I was a kid.”   
  
“A dumb ass kid,” his dad replied with a grin.   
  
“Excuse me?!” Hanbin retorted, mouth open wide in shock.   
  
His dad laughed at his mock outrage. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, kids have tiny brains, they’re supposed to be dumb.”   
  
“It’s to be expected,” his mother added teasingly, “you really were a very average child, I hate to say it.”   
  
“But you got smart as you grew up, so it’s okay,” his dad replied, “I was worried for a while there though, dumb and really dorky looking.”   
  
“I can’t believe this slander!” Hanbin yelled, looking between his parents in surprise, “you  _ made me, _ so if I was dumb and dorky as a kid it’s your fault!”   
  
“Genetic inheritance?” Bobby offered, winking at Hanbin’s parents.   
  
Mr. Kim whistled at Bobby’s comment. “Wow, Bobby’s risking himself to stand up for you as a child,” he grinned at Hanbin, who was still mock glaring at him, “that’s keeper material right there.”   
  
“What’s that term? Ride or die?” Hanbin’s mother added, and Bobby burst into loud laughter at her addition. Even Hanbin finally gave in to laughter. But then Hanbin’s mother got up to answer an incoming call, and none of them spoke while they waited for her, content with just catching their breath after laughing.   
  
She returned and sat down with a frustrated sigh, laying her phone on the table and looking at her husband. “We have to go down to the store.”   
  
“What happened?” He asked, picking up on her seriousness.   
  
“A pipe burst in the storage room, and of course Gowon was in there when it happened and she got hit. She said she’s okay but I want to take her to the hospital anyway.”   
  
“Ah, shit, let’s get going.”   
  
“Just let me make arrangements for Hanbyul, since someone has boxing training today.” Mrs. Kim looked at Hanbin, who grinned back at her.   
  
“I could take her with me,” he offered, “get her started early.”   
  
“Absolutely not,” Mrs. Kim replied, “I don’t need her thinking she can start smacking us around. It’s asking for trouble. She’s going to be upset though, I was going to take her to see a movie today.”   
  
Mr. Kim chuckled at the comment. “Enjoy that conversation.” She glared at him and kicked him under the table. “Hey!” He yelped, rubbing his shin. “You’re the one who made the movie promise, not me.” He grinned at her and right on time Hanbyul came running into the kitchen. She went to Bobby first, giving him a hug and rambling about what she’d been doing in her room.   
  
Eventually Mrs. Kim called her over. “I have some bad news, and you’re going to be upset about it, but I need you to listen to me, okay?” Hanbyul nodded, but Bobby could see her previously smiling face immediately pull down into a frown. It was the classic beginning of a little kid meltdown, and he wondered if he and Hanbin shouldn’t leave to let her deal with it alone? But Hanbin made no move to get up, instead he just watched.   
  
“I know I promised you we’d go and see the Lego movie today, but something happened at my store, so I can’t go anymore.” Hanbin’s mother spoke with a calm voice, ready for her daughter’s burst of emotions.   
  
“But you promised we’d go!” Hanbyul wailed on cue, on the verge of tears.   
  
“I know I did, but I need you to listen to me, okay?” She paused for a moment, and Bobby was surprised to see that Hanbyul actually paused her freak out to listen. Mrs. Kim explained the situation calmly, relaying the whole story to her daughter. Bobby found it interesting, thinking back to his own childhood experiences. His mother had never taken the time to explain things to him like this, she’d simply trotted out the age old “this is happening because I say it’s happening!” line and dealt with the ensuing meltdown.   
  
But despite being upset, Hanbyul listened and understood the change of plans. But the look of utter dejection on her face tore at Bobby’s heart. Of course there were more important things than a movie, but it always stung to have your plans changed at the last minute, no matter how old you were. He turned to Hanbin, who was watching with a grin.   
  
“I could take her, if that’s okay?” He whispered to Hanbin, wanting to help.   
  
Hanbin’s grin grew even wider, and Bobby wondered if he ought to be concerned. Hanbin whispered back to him. “Offer.”   
  
Bobby turned to face Hanbin’s mother, intent on offering and proving himself. “Mrs. Kim, I actually don’t have any plans this afternoon while Hanbin’s boxing. I could take Hanbyul to the movie, if that’s okay?”   
  
She looked back at him with a wary expression. “Are you sure you want to offer that?”   
  
Bobby nodded. “Yeah, if you’re okay with it. I think we’d have fun.” Hanbyul adored him now, none of her previous awkwardness around him still present.   
  
“I appreciate your offer, Bobby,” she continued, “but this is opening weekend. There are going to be  _ a lot _ of kids there.”   
  
He nodded. “I know.”   
  
“Final offer,” she said, “are you  _ sure _ you want to do this?”   
  
He frowned back at her. “Honestly not anymore because you’re kind of scaring me.”   
  
But Hanbyul spoke up then, holding her mother’s arm and bouncing on the spot. “Please can I go with Bobby oppa? Please?”   
  
Mrs. Kim smiled at Hanbyul before looking back at Bobby. “If Bobby wants to take you to the movie, I’d be happy to let him. But you should go and ask him properly, okay?”   
  
Hanbyul slid away from her mother and ran to Bobby’s chair, standing in front of him and reaching out to grab one of his hands. “Bobby oppa, will you  _ please _ take me to the movie?”   
  
It was so cute that he felt like his heart might burst out of his chest. “Of course I’d love to take you, Byul-ie.”   
  
Hanbyul looked back at her mom, who shook her head and stood up. “Alright then, you can go to the movie with Bobby.”   
  
Bobby smiled back at her, touched that she trusted him enough to let him take Hanbyul to a movie by himself. It felt like a huge deal.   
  
“Alright Bobby, I can’t believe you’re doing this, but thank you. From the bottom of my heart, honestly, thank you.” She grinned at him and took out her wallet, pulling out some money. “Here’s money for the tickets.”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Ah, really that’s not necessary, I’m working now, I can pay for it.”   
  
She shook her head and physically closed his hand over the money. “Oh, honey, no. Take the money.”   
  
Hanbin’s father came up behind her, passing his own stack of bills over. “Here, take some extra.”   
  
Bobby tried to refuse again. “Honestly, I appreciate it but it’s unnecessary.”   
  
Hanbin’s father was persistent. “No, really. You’re going to need the money when the movie is over.”   
  
Even Hanbin got in on it. “Seriously take the money. Do you have any idea how many loud, screaming kids are going to be there?”   
  
“I don’t know how much experience you have around children, but Hanbyul is exceptionally well-behaved for her age, but even she is exhausting at a movie.” Mr. Kim left the money in Bobby’s lap.   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but feel slightly panicked at their behaviour. Was he really getting himself into a bad situation here? But there was no backing out of it now. He watched as Hanbin’s parents left, and then there was just the three of them. Hanbyul went back to her room at Hanbin’s urging, telling her to go and play until they were ready to go.   
  
Hanbin smiled at him when they were alone. “It was really nice of you to offer like that. Scored major points with my parents, just so you know.”   
  
Bobby felt good about that at least, but now that he’d talked himself into it he was suddenly starting to feel nervous. “Do you think it’ll be okay? I’ve actually never been around a kid for that long without someone else there.”   
  
“It’s only two hours,” Hanbin said placatingly, “you’ll live. Besides, she adores you now, she’ll do whatever you tell her to do.”   
  
“Okay but, what if I lose her? What if we get separated?” The thought just popped up into Bobby’s head, and he had visions of himself standing in a room full of children, but no Hanbyul in sight.   
  
“You might lose her, but she won’t lose you.” Hanbin replied.   
  
“What if she has to go to the bathroom?” Bobby was starting to panic now, his brain suddenly overloading with potential what-ifs.   
  
“I’ll take her before you go, but she can manage on her own. Just take her in with you if she has to go again.” Hanbin reached for one of Bobby’s hands, holding it tightly and trying his best to be reassuring. It was cute, watching Bobby freak out over taking care of his sister.   
  
“Ah Hanbin, honestly! What if she starts crying?”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh. “What would she possibly cry about?”   
  
“I don’t know!” Bobby replied, imagining a wailing Hanbyul and everyone staring at him. “Can I buy her popcorn?”   
  
“Of course, that’s what all the money’s for. She’ll probably want to share one with you, she doesn’t eat much. Get her a drink too, let her decide what flavour but only get a small.”   
  
Bobby frowned, feeling the weight of responsibility on his shoulders. He was going to be responsible for a five year old. All by himself. It was a pending disaster.   
  
Hanbin squeezed his hand. “Honestly, you’ll be fine. Think of this as practice for the future.” Hanbin teased, winking at him.   
  
Bobby stared back at him with an open mouth. “What future? Our future?”   
  
Hanbin just grinned and let go of his hand. “I have to go get my stuff together, try not to freak out too much.”   
  
Bobby shook his head as he watched Hanbin get up and leave. What kind of bullshit way to leave a conversation?! After dropping a comment like that… He knew Hanbin had only been teasing him, but at the time, he couldn’t help but think of a future with Hanbin. Would they really start a family of their own one day? The idea was terrifying. But Hanbyul was cute, so maybe, if they had a kid like her…   
  
Hanbin was back a few minutes later with Hanbyul, who was wide eyed with excitement.   
  
“Ok Byul, a few questions before we go. This is serious, so pay attention.” Hanbin sat down and pulled her in front of him. “What do you do if you get lost and can’t find Bobby oppa?”   
  
Hanbyul smiled confidently and answered. “I find someone who works at the movies and tell them to ask for Bobby oppa to come and find me! If they can’t find him, then I tell them to call you or mom or dad.” Bobby listened in shock as Hanbin had her recite all three phone numbers, along with her address. How did she manage to remember them all?   
  
“Good girl, Byul-ie! Isn’t she smart, Bobby?” Hanbin asked, patting her cheek proudly.   
  
Bobby smiled at her, honestly impressed. “She’s the smartest girl I know!” Hanbyul beamed at him, and he thought again about Hanbin’s teasing from minutes earlier. At least Hanbin knew what he was doing.   
  
They left together, with Hanbyul walking in between them, holding their hands and skipping. Bobby wondered what people were thinking when they walked by, wondered if he’d feel nervous in the future if they had a kid of their own. But it felt nice, though, he and Hanbin out alone with Hanbyul. She made cute conversation on their walk, asking Hanbin non-stop questions about everything that caught her eye. Bobby was impressed with Hanbin’s patient explanations.   
  
They made it to the movie theatre first, where Hanbin gave the both of them hugs and kisses and told them to look after each other. Bobby watched him leave, heading for his boxing gym that was a few blocks down the road. Then he looked down at Hanbyul, who was holding his hand tightly and smiling at him. Okay. He could do this!   
  
He walked up to the ticket counter. “Hello, could I get two tickets for the Lego Movie, please?” He handed over his money to the girl who was working at the counter, who smiled fondly down at Hanbyul.   
  
“A popular choice today!” She remarked as she printed the tickets. “Here you go! I hope you and your daughter enjoy the movie.”   
  
Bobby’s face went blank at her comment, but Hanbyul jumped on it right away. “He’s not my dad,” she set about explaining, “he’s my oppa’s boyfriend! My mom was supposed to come but she had to go to work, so Bobby oppa said he would take me instead! Isn’t he the best?” Hanbyul rambled excitedly, beaming at the girl.   
  
“Oh, that’s adorable!” The sales girl replied, smiling fondly at Bobby. She reached under her desk and slid another ticket his way. “Just because you’re both so cute, here’s a voucher for free popcorn.”   
  
Bobby blushed and took it, and Hanbyul thanked her in a loud voice before they headed for the concession stand. He couldn’t believe Hanbyul had just blurted it out like that, but then again… Her parents had taught her well, and it was nice to hear such a young kid speak about their relationship like it wasn’t unusual in any way.   
  
They got their popcorn and drinks and made their way into the theatre, and Bobby’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull when he saw the room. Hanbin’s parents hadn’t been exaggerating. There were more kids in the theatre than Bobby was used to seeing outside of a classroom. Some of them were sitting quietly with their parents, while others were running around and yelling. He glanced down at Hanbyul, who was looking around at the seats.   
  
“Where do you think we should sit, oppa?” She asked him.   
  
Bobby panicked, overwhelmed by all the kids. “Uh, where do you want to sit?”   
  
“Let’s go sit at the top!” She replied, pulling him towards an empty space near the right hand side. Bobby followed along behind her, happy to let her pick out their seats, and he was sure that if Hanbin were here he’d be laughing at him. Hanbyul took her seat near the end of the row and Bobby gratefully sank down into the seat next to her, feeling frazzled already.   
  
“Oppa, do you know who made movie theatres?” She asked him, looking up at him with bright eyes.   
  
“Uh, no, I don’t.”   
  
“Do you know when the first one was made?” She asked, and he shrugged.   
  
“Nope. I can look it up, if you want to know?” He offered, surprised when she eagerly nodded. So he pulled his phone out and started looking up information on the beginning of the movie industry, reading information to her that he was surprised she was asking about. It was kind of cute, the non-stop interest, but Hanbin’s father had been right—she was a little exhausting. After they finished researching movies she started telling him about what she was learning in school, proudly sharing that her teacher said that she was doing the best in her class. Hanbyul said it was because Hanbin was helping her with her work, and Bobby again had that fleeting thought about the future.   
  
Hanbin would definitely be the better parent.   
  
Eventually the lights dimmed and Bobby breathed a sigh of relief that the movie was starting. He glanced down at Hanbyul, who looked excited. It may have been exhausting so far, but she was adorable.   
  
Half an hour into the movie he felt a tug on his arm and he looked down at her.   
  
“Oppa,” she tried to whisper to him, “can I sit with you?”   
  
Bobby realized she meant that she wanted to sit on his lap, and he nodded, pleased when she slid off her seat and he helped her hop up onto his legs. She made herself comfortable and Bobby felt an immense wave of what felt like paternal affection for her. All the worrying and freakouts he’d gone through mentally was worth it for this, especially when he thought about how afraid of him she’d been only six months ago.   
  
They shared their popcorn and laughed together at the movie, and when it was over he thought it really hadn’t been that bad. Sure, a lot of kids had talked during the movie, but Hanbyul had been quiet, and he felt proud of her for that. Once they got out of the theatre, though, the comments came rushing out non-stop. Bobby held her hand and grinned, listening to her gush about the movie.   
  
Maybe the kid thing wouldn’t be so bad after all. He thought he’d done pretty well for his first time alone with her! They left the cinema and walked to Hanbin’s gym together, and he let her chatter away the whole time, giving his opinion when she asked for it. It was actually surprising to listen to her talk. Were all kids her age so well spoken and inquisitive? Or was she special? He wondered if Hanbin had been like this as a kid.   
  
They arrived at the gym and he walked inside with her, pausing to look around. Hanbin was in the ring, training with his instructor, ducking punches and practicing feints, and Bobby couldn’t help but watch him.   
  
“Hey, can I help you?”   
  
Bobby was startled by the question and tore his eyes away from Hanbin to look at the guy who’d spoken to him. It was some guy in training gear, shaved head with tattooed arms. He wondered for a brief second if he was supposed to be here, but Hanbin had told him to come by when their movie had finished and to sit and wait for him.   
  
He smiled politely back at the guy. “Oh, no I’m fine, I’m just waiting for my boyfriend to finish up.” He surprised himself with the admission, hoping he hadn’t made the wrong choice when the guy gave him a weird look. But a moment later he nodded.   
  
“Ah, you must be Hanbin’s boyfriend? He said you’d probably be dropping in. Just have a seat over there, he should be done soon.” The guy pointed to a few chairs near the side of the room and Bobby nodded gratefully to him before heading over. It felt good to know that Hanbin had talked about him, that the guy had greeted him with knowledge of who he was. He’d have expected hostility.   
  
He sat down in one of the armchairs and Hanbyul climbed up onto his lap again, and together they watched Hanbin training. It was a nice feeling, sitting with Hanbyul and watching him.   
  
A minute later and suddenly someone stepped right in front of them, blocking their view. Bobby felt his defenses rise for a brief second until he looked at the guy’s face—it was just Donghyuk.   
  
“Hey hyung!” Donghyuk greeted with a smile, before smiling at Hanbyul. “Hey Byul-ie! How are you?”   
  
Hanbyul smiled back at him. “Bobby oppa took me to see the Lego Movie today!”   
  
“Oh did he?” Donghyuk asked, looking back at Bobby. “Didn’t that just open?”   
  
Bobby nodded. “Sure did.”   
  
“How was it?” Donghyuk asked with a grin.   
  
“It was good, the movie was really funny.”   
  
“I meant the overall experience,” Donghyuk teased.   
  
“It was fun, wasn’t it Byul?” Bobby asked her.   
  
“Yes! Oppa bought my snacks and we sat together and had fun!” Hanbyul beamed at him, and Bobby’s heart melted all over again.   
  
“Well that was very nice of him to take you. I’m glad you had a fun day together. I have to go and get changed now, but I just wanted to say hi!” Donghyuk patted Hanbyul’s head before leaving them, and once he was gone Bobby saw that Hanbin had just finished. He watched as Hanbin slowly made his way towards them, and Bobby swore his heart felt like it was skipping a few beats. Hanbin looked so attractive with his hair slicked back and his face flushed.   
  
“How are my two favourite people in the whole world?” Hanbin asked in greeting, leaning down to kiss his sister on the cheek. “How was the movie, Byul-ie? Did you and Bobby oppa have fun?”   
  
Hanbyul excited nodded at him. “It was the best, oppa! The movie was really funny and we learned a lot about movies, didn’t we oppa?” Hanbyul asked, looking at Bobby.   
  
Bobby nodded at her question. “It was great, honestly! Hanbyul was a perfect angel, just like you said she’d be.” Bobby looked up at Hanbin, who was staring at him with a very fond expression.   
  
“As expected,” Hanbin replied, before leaning over to give Bobby a quick kiss. “Let me go shower quickly and change, then why don’t we grab some chicken and go visit mom and dad, okay?” Hanbyul nodded and Hanbin stood back up, and Bobby watched him walk off a second time today. But he wasn’t nervous about being alone with Hanbyul anymore. In fact he quite enjoyed it, he loved being able to field her questions.   
  
And whether or not Hanbin had meant it seriously, the fact remained that it  _ was _ good practice for the future. Whatever that future ended up being.


	9. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuk and Junhoe practice English and talk about relationships; Junhoe and Jinhwan enjoy some time together; Jinhwan and Bobby talk about their futures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I wasn't able to update last week! While writing the final version of the chapter I just felt like one of these scenes was really boring, so I had to re-write it from scratch and just lost my drive for a bit.
> 
> Also wanted to mention that we're seeing the foundation being set for the YunDong storyline in this chapter... ;)

> _“Separate cities, separate timelines  
>  Waking up to different skylines  
> Won’t change what we’ve been through  
> You know you’ll only lose me if you want to”_  
>                                 "[I'll Be There](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBN5IKbEIL4)" King Henry feat. Sasha Sloan  
>   
> 

* * *

  
“Okay, so I’ve been thinking about your English lessons, and I have a new idea. I think this might help you focus and not get bored so quickly.”   
  
Junhoe waited for Donghyuk’s explanation, curious about his idea. He’d been working on his woeful English skills over the past month, just in case. Unfortunately for him, English wasn’t really something he found all that interesting to study. “I have faith in you.”   
  
Donghyuk grinned back at him. “We’re going to practice conversational questions, but instead of normal questions, I’m going to ask you about song lyrics, and I want you to answer me with song lyrics you know.”   
  
Junhoe looked at him in confusion. “We’re doing what?”   
  
“Just work with me, we’re going to start with one of your favourite songs,” Donghyuk replied, “ _ Billie Jean. _ I’m going to ask you questions and you answer with lines from the song.”   
  
Junhoe nodded, starting to understand. “Okay, let’s do it!”   
  
Donghyuk looked down at his sheet of printed lyrics, hoping this idea of his would last for more than five minutes. “Okay, first question, who is Billie Jean?”   
  
Junhoe thought for a moment, recalling the song in his head. “Billie Jean is not my lover,” he replied, grinning at Donghyuk.   
  
Donghyuk nodded encouragingly. “What else?”   
  
Junhoe pondered for a second before answering. “She’s just a girl!”   
  
“Right. Now, what does Billie Jean say?”   
  
Junhoe was ready for this one. “She says I am the one!”   
  
Donghyuk nodded again, trying his best not to laugh. Junhoe’s enthusiasm was showing on his face. “Does she? Billie Jean needs better taste in men.”   
  
“Hey!” Junhoe yelled, but he laughed.   
  
Donghyuk checked off a few lines on his sheet and carried on. “People always told you be careful what you do, and don’t do what?”   
  
“Don’t go around breaking young girl’s hearts!” Junhoe replied quickly, settling into the routine.   
  
“Very good. Did you sleep with Billie Jean?” Donghyuk asked, amused at the confused look on Junhoe’s face.   
  
“No?”   
  
“But she had a baby, and he has your eyes.”   
  
Junhoe grinned again and shook his head. “No! The kid is not my son.”   
  
Donghyuk again had to try not to laugh at Junhoe’s enthusiastic answer, but he was also happy that Junhoe was remembering lines out of order and reciting them quickly. “Okay, you did good! Your pronunciation was pretty good too,” he said, in English.   
  
Junhoe smiled at the praise. “Thank you!”   
  
“Okay let’s move on. Let’s do  _ Beat It.” _ Donghyuk gave him a moment to focus before starting. “This time I want you to answer in your own words, so don’t just repeat the lyrics, okay?” Junhoe nodded. “In  _ Beat It, _ what do they tell you?”   
  
Junhoe took a minute to think about his answer, his brain working to counter the upped difficulty level. “They tell me don’t go where they are, because they don’t want to see my face. I should disappear.”   
  
Donghyuk nodded. “Good. Now tell me what you should do?”   
  
“I should run, because I don’t want to see blood.” He couldn’t help but grin before reciting the next line of his answer. “I am not supposed to be a macho man.” He laughed after saying it, realizing that the lyrics clearly didn’t apply to him. He’d never run from a fight. “I should just beat it!” He belted out, launching into a rendition of the chorus.   
  
Donghyuk let him go, shaking his head and wishing he would sing a little quieter, at least. But Junhoe was in a good mood, and Donghyuk wasn’t the type to avoid having a good time, so he smiled and even sang along at the end. Then he corralled Junhoe back to work and they did a few more songs, and he was impressed by Junhoe’s ability to deal with his mounting levels of difficulty. By giving him a topic of conversation with words to reference for answers, Junhoe’s ability to focus and answer well saw a vast improvement from their usual attempts at conversation.   
  
But eventually Junhoe’s focus waned, and Donghyuk didn’t want to keep pushing him. “Okay, that’s enough for now. You did really good though, like you did better than I thought you would.”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him, impressed with himself. He’d actually impressed himself too with some of his answers, and it made him feel a little more confident about the English that he did know. Now that they were done he settled back on his bed, grabbing a pillow and leaning back against the wall. “So how’s Yunhyeong hyung? I need details from you since I don’t really see him as much anymore.”   
  
Donghyuk finished putting his study materials away before answering. “He’s good, he’s enjoying university. His classes are really interesting.”   
  
“And how’s the relationship? Is he being good to you?” Junhoe asked, grinning when it made Donghyuk blush.   
  
“It’s good! He’s actually a great boyfriend, he always plans stuff for us to go out and do. I’ve visited so many interesting cafes and fun places that I normally might not go to. And he’s gotten really good about us being together in public, like he was pretty nervous at first, I could tell. Any time we were on an obvious date, he’d seem nervous and would always be looking around, but I can tell he’s worked on it. And he always holds my hand now, because I told him I like it.”   
  
Junhoe made a face at him. “Gross.”   
  
Donghyuk threw a pillow at him. “It’s not gross! You and Jinhwan hyung hold hands all the time!”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him. “Yeah, well, that’s different.”   
  
“Oh? Different how?” Donghyuk knew Junhoe was just messing with him to get a reaction, but he couldn’t stop himself from overreacting to the teasing.   
  
“It just is, okay? It’s not you, it’s Yunhyeong!” Junhoe threw the pillow back at him.   
  
Donghyuk caught the pillow and whacked Junhoe in the leg with it before sitting back comfortably. Now that they were on the topic of Yunhyeong, he wondered if he could talk to Junhoe about something that had been bothering him lately. Out of all of his friends, Junhoe knew Yunhyeong the best. Maybe he’d have some insight.   
  
Junhoe was about to tease him a bit more, but then he noticed the suddenly serious look on Donghyuk’s face. It was out of place given their laughter. “You got something on your mind?”   
  
Donghyuk looked at him in surprise, not used to Junhoe getting inquisitive. Usually that was Hanbin’s role. “Ah, actually, there kind of is something that’s been bothering me lately. I said things are good, and they are, but I’ve been noticing something lately and I can’t help but worry about it. I know he likes me, but I don’t know if he really  _ likes _ me.”   
  
Junhoe looked at him in confusion. “If he’s holding your hand then he definitely likes you.”   
  
“No, I mean, when we’re alone, he never does anything. He never tries anything.” Donghyuk tried to be calm but it felt weird to finally be discussing his worries with someone. It was a little embarrassing too.   
  
Junhoe’s expression looked uncharacteristically pensive. “You’ve kissed him, right?”   
  
“Yeah, but our kisses are like, barely kisses. There’s no tongue.”   
  
Junhoe frowned. “Okay, that’s weird.”   
  
Hearing Junhoe agree that it was weird felt like a weight off his shoulders, like he was confident that it wasn’t just an overreaction on his part. “Right?! We were at my place alone, in my bedroom, and I changed in front of him. Like I just stood up, said I was hot, just to see what he’d do. But he actually looked away until I was done changing. Not even a glance at me the whole time.”   
  
Junhoe was half surprised, but then half not. “Well, I mean he is super old fashioned. Maybe he doesn’t think you’ve been together long enough to get to that stage yet. Maybe he doesn’t want you to feel cheap.”   
  
“Maybe I want to feel cheap!” Donghyuk said, and he could feel himself getting heated over it. The whole thing had been bothering him way more than he’d allowed himself to realize, and he’d been trying to forget about it and move on, but his brain was stuck on that day. Why hadn’t Yunhyeong snuck even  _ one _ glance at him?   
  
“Have you talked to him about it?” Junhoe asked, surprised that Donghyuk was just complaining.   
  
Donghyuk pouted and shook his head. “No.”   
  
“Well, speaking from experience, you shouldn’t leave stuff like that. You can’t put off important talks, it’ll just make you more heated when you finally do talk about it. I don’t think he’d date you if he didn’t really like you, he’s not that kind of guy. I can guarantee there’s a good reason why he’s not doing anything with you.”   
  
“Is there ever a good reason for not taking advantage of your half naked boyfriend?” Donghyuk whined bitterly, because he didn’t want to have to say it out loud, his real concern. He wanted Junhoe to address it without the words having to come out of his mouth.   
  
“Well sure, for guys like you and me. But not everyone thinks the same, you have to remember that. Yunhyeong isn’t as open about that stuff, so you should talk to him. Or you could just make a move on your own? Why are you waiting for him, anyway? You kinda know what you’re doing, right? You’ve dated a guy before. So you make the move.”   
  
Donghyuk frowned, because he had thought of that, but he was wary about it. “Do you think I should? What if that intimidates him?”   
  
Junhoe gave him a disappointing look. “If he gets intimidated by you making a move on him, then honestly you’re doing yourself a favour by finding out now.”   
  
Donghyuk knew he had a good point, but still… He wanted to feel like he had a boyfriend who would take care of him, and part of that included someone who wanted to pursue him sexually. He’d been struggling from the onset of their relationship to accept that someone as gorgeous as Yunhyeong would want to date someone as average as him. It wasn’t that he thought he was ugly, or anything. He just wasn’t on Yunhyeong’s level. Not even close.   
  
Junhoe watched him struggling with his thoughts, and he felt a weird flare of irritation creep up towards Yunhyeong. Should he text him and tell him to talk to Donghyuk, or would he just make things worse? Probably better to leave it alone for now. “Honestly, Dong, just talk to him.”   
  
Donghyuk sighed and resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to step up in some way. “Yeah, you’re right. How did things between you and Jinan get started? Was it like us, or different?”   
  
Junhoe grinned, because he and Jinhwan had been the exact opposite. “Jinan completely steamrolled me, to be honest. Like I hadn’t even really been thinking of him that way, and he just came in and like, made me his bitch.” He could laugh about it now, because it was kind of funny.   
  
Donghyuk laughed too. “Why am I not surprised?”   
  
Junhoe grinned at him. “I should resent that comment! Listen, don’t tell Hanbin I said that. I never really gave him details about how it started, and he’d never let me live it down.”   
  
“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure he already knows,” Donghyuk teased back. “Just because you didn’t tell him, doesn’t mean Jinhwan hyung didn’t!”   
  
Junhoe frowned. “He wouldn’t.”   
  
“I don’t know, I think he would if Hanbin asked him.” Donghyuk teased again. Maybe he’d ask Hanbin for details about how he and Bobby got started. Just to see if he and Yunhyeong really were lagging behind.   
  


* * *

  
Jinhwan clamped a hand over Junhoe’s mouth, struggling to hear over his frantically pounding heart. They should have had at least another half hour before anyone came back! But he could have sworn he’d just heard the door opening…   
  
Junhoe looked at him in confusion, fingers on Jinhwan’s wrist about to yank his hand away, but then they both heard the opening and closing of the door across the hall from Junhoe’s.   
  
Yejin! Jinhwan slumped on top of Junhoe’s chest, panting hard now that the momentary panic was over. At least it wasn’t Junhoe’s parents, home early. Not that he wanted Yejin to walk in on them mid-sex, but it would be significantly less traumatic. At least he thought so. It would probably be just as traumatic either way for Junhoe.   
  
Jinhwan’s eyes met Junhoe’s and he couldn’t help but laugh, given Junhoe’s look of frustration.   
  
“I’m going to murder Yejin,” Junhoe whispered, frowning when Jinhwan slid off of him. They’d been taking their time today, trying to have slower sex that wasn’t as rushed as usual. And then his sister had come home a day early and ruined his plans!   
  
Jinhwan grinned down at him, not happy their time had been cut prematurely short, but amused anyway. Then again, he’d already come once. Junhoe, however, had not. “You want a hand with that?” He asked quietly, eyes on Junhoe’s erection.   
  
Junhoe’s face turned red and he sat up, unsure who to be more annoyed at. “Not with Yejin across the hall!”   
  
“Come on,” Jinhwan said, sinking down to kneel before Junhoe, “I’ll blow you, I’ll be quick about it.”   
  
Junhoe glared at him, tempted to take him up on the offer. It just felt weird with his sister in her room. Just as he was about to agree to it they heard the apartment door open again—which meant that his parents were also back home early!   
  
“Fuck!” Junhoe whispered, flopping angrily on his bed. Now he definitely couldn’t let Jinhwan give him a blowjob!   
  
Jinhwan stood up and started hastily pulling his clothes back on, not wanting to get caught by Junhoe’s parents. He tossed Junhoe’s pants at him after buttoning his jeans back up and then stood by the bedroom door, ready to keep it closed if Junhoe’s mother tried to come in. He watched in amusement as Junhoe hastily pulled his pants on, clearly unhappy. He felt bad, but it was kind of funny.   
  
Junhoe stood up, struggling with his jeans, trying to will his erection away. It wasn’t working, though, and he felt weird about it. He didn’t want to risk anything with his whole family home, but he felt restless and frustrated and watching Jinhwan smirk at him was certainly not helping!   
  
“Let’s go say hi to your parents,” Jinhwan suggested, “just to like get it out of the way. Be less conspicuous.” Jinhwan suggested, leaning against the door.   
  
Junhoe glared at him but stood up, knowing that he had a point. Not that he really wanted to look at his parents while he was in his present state, but still… His mother sometimes had a tendency to come into his room unannounced. Maybe if he went to her first she’d leave them alone. He followed Jinhwan down the hall into the kitchen, where his parents were putting away groceries they’d returned with.   
  
“Oh, hello, Jinhwan! I didn’t realize you were here,” Mrs. Koo addressed him.   
  
“I got here not that long ago,” Jinhwan replied, a tiny lie, because he’d shown up the moment they’d left, “we’ve been practicing English together.”   
  
“Oh that’s nice,” she answered, smiling at him, “I guess soon enough you’ll be needing to take Korean classes because you’ll be speaking English all the time!” She said teasingly.   
  
“It won’t be that bad,” he replied, “my old jiu jitsu trainer’s trying to get me set up to live with family of an old friend of his, the guy’s Korean. So I shouldn’t be too rusty after a few months away.”   
  
“That’s nice of him. Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m about to start cooking now, it won’t be a bother if you’d like to stick around.”   
  
“I’d love to stay for dinner, thanks Mrs. Koo!” Jinhwan replied, smiling brightly at her. He turned to Junhoe then, winking at him. “Well, we should get back to our English studies. Can’t wait for your food!”   
  
Junhoe got a Pepsi out of the fridge, just for appearances, before he followed Jinhwan back to his room. He took a drink to calm his nerves, feeling jittery still. Jinhwan closed the bedroom door and approached him, pushing him back against the wall. Junhoe’s breath caught in his throat and of course the second Jinhwan’s eyes locked onto his own, he was hard again.   
  
Jinhwan knew, of course. He slid hands up to Junhoe’s cheeks, holding his head in place and kissing him, all while nudging a knee in between his legs. He was feeling playful and couldn’t resist the opportunity.   
  
“Hyung, quit it!” Junhoe whispered angrily, even though he wanted nothing more than for Jinhwan to handle him at the moment.   
  
“You sure you don’t want a blowjob?” Jinhwan whispered back, grinning at him.   
  
Junhoe glared, but then wondered if he shouldn’t accept? He wasn’t going to be able to focus on anything like this, and Jinhwan had offered… If his mother was cooking, then he ought to be safe for a bit.   
  
Jinhwan made his move without waiting for an answer, sliding down to his knees and unbuttoning Junhoe’s jeans. He tugged them down just far enough to pull his dick out, winking at Junhoe before clamping his lips over the head.   
  
Junhoe hissed and closed his eyes, happy but concerned at the same time. But just as Jinhwan had promised, it didn’t really last long. Jinhwan knew exactly how to play him, and two minutes later Junhoe came in Jinhwan’s mouth, his head lolling to the side, panting hard and not thinking about potentially getting caught. Jinhwan pulled him over to the bed, knocking him down onto the mattress. He lied down next to Junhoe, head on his chest, finger tracing patterns over his back. It was nice and peaceful and not really that scandalous, if anyone were to walk in on them. He sat up and grabbed Junhoe’s Pepsi, taking a sip to wash the taste of Junhoe out of his mouth.   
  
Jinhwan was trying not to think about it too often, but he was very well aware of the passage of time. Every day ticked closer to the day he’d be leaving. He wasn’t sure how he was going to manage, wasn’t even sure what would happen. He was going to miss moments like this, where he could lie down with Junhoe and have some great unguarded moment. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at him, smiling happily.   
  
“You okay, hyung?” Junhoe asked, and he wasn’t even sure what he was asking about. He just saw Jinhwan staring at him and wanted to make sure it was for a good reason.   
  
“Yeah, I’m just having a moment,” Jinhwan replied with a grin, “sometimes I forget how beautiful you are.”   
  
Junhoe would usually give a disgusted sigh at comments like that (because usually Jinhwan would only say them to tease him) but right now Junhoe just smiled back at him and reached out to pull him down on top of him again.   
  
“You’re pretty too, hyung.”   
  
Jinhwan cuddled against his chest, smiling when Junhoe tucked his chin in against his head. He was 99% certain he knew what Junhoe was about to say, but it never really got old, their back and forth  teasing. “Oh I’m pretty, am I?” He asked, setting up the retort.   
  
“Yeah, you’re pretty,” Junhoe replied sleepily, “pretty lame.”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh, happy to still have all of this. He’d miss it when he left. Moments like this made him contemplate moving his flight again, wanting to squeeze every last day out of this relationship that he could. It would be irresponsible, though, and as much as it was going to hurt, he had to prioritize his future. Even if he didn’t want to imagine a future without Junhoe.   
  
Junhoe, on the other hand, was doing his best to flat out ignore the pending separation. If he ignored it, maybe the problem would solve itself in some unexpected way. If not, well, he’d deal with the problem when it came. For now all he cared about was the fact that Jinhwan was here, in his room, lying next to him. That’s all he wanted.   
  
He shifted slightly, moving his arm a little for a more comfortable position. He pressed a kiss to the top of Jinhwan’s head. “I got to lecture Hanbin the other day, I forgot to tell you.”   
  
Jinhwan was surprised at the statement and actually propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Junhoe. “You did what?”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him. “You’d have been proud of me, it was really good. Made him super uncomfortable.”   
  
Jinhwan laughed. “I love that you’re so proud of that.”   
  
“It was karma for me having to listen to his lectures all the time, I gave it back just as good.”   
  
“You call it karma, I call it character growth,” Jinhwan teased. “What was it about?”   
  
“Taeyong, obviously,” Junhoe replied, “no one knows Hanbin’s bad habits better than I do. I just called him out on his approach, you know he loves to dig his big nose into other people’s business, he does it to me all the time. Just needles and digs until he finally gets what he wants. And sure, most of the time with me, it’s for a good cause. But you can’t do that to someone who actively despises you. It’s not gonna get him anywhere, but he keeps doing it.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, amused to hear Junhoe speaking so maturely and rationally. “You make a good point.”   
  
“I told him that he and Taeyong are kind of like you and me when we first met. Woosung is doing Hanbin’s job and he has to stand back and let him.” Junhoe grinned. “I was pretty proud of that analogy, like it fits, doesn’t it?”   
  
Jinhwan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “Yeah actually it does. Except for one problem.”   
  
“What’s the problem?”   
  
“Well, let’s say that Hanbin is playing my role, and Taeyong is playing you. Now we have to make sure that sparks don’t start flying between them.” Jinhwan grinned when Junhoe shook his head, but a second later Junhoe was looking devious too.   
  
“I’ll tell Hanbin to make sure he always has a chaperone in the shower after games so they don’t start eye fucking each other.” They both burst into laughter at that comment, and eventually Jinhwan’s arm got tired so he laid down against Junhoe again.   
  
“I’m really proud of you,” Jinhwan said suddenly, “it’s hard to call your friends out on their shitty behaviour, but you have to. Sometimes people don’t realize they’re doing something wrong until someone they really care about tells them off for it.” He knew that first hand after last year, when Bobby had snapped and lashed out at his selfish behaviour. It had stung at the time, but the lesson stuck with him. There’s nothing quite like disappointing your best friend to ensure you change your habits.   
  
Junhoe felt good, hearing that praise, because he was quite proud of himself as well. “It’s shocking, isn’t it? A year ago I wouldn’t have believed you if you’d told me that I’d be lecturing him over something important.”   
  
“You’re growing into a fine young man, Junhoe!” Jinhwan teased.   
  
“Thanks, hyung. We all have to do it at some point, I guess.” He tightened his arm around Jinhwan. pulling him in closer. It felt good to hear that kind of praise from Jinhwan, even if there was a teasing aspect to it.   
  


* * *

  
“I mean, on one hand, I’m glad he’s not going to be there. On the other, I wish he was going to be. If I really follow through on this music thing, I feel like I’ll probably regret not having him there at my first performance.” Bobby whined, flopping back and forth.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him, amused at the confusion. “Look at it this way, it’ll be less pressure without him there. If you completely fuck up and embarrass yourself at least he won’t be there to see it.”   
  
Bobby glared at him. “I don’t intend to fuck up. But you’re right. I really just wanted to look out and see him there, you know? I’m a nobody there, no one’s going to be cheering for me. It would be nice to look out and see his face.”   
  
Jinhwan sat up, and affronted look on his face. “No one’s going to be cheering for you? Is that your way of telling me to support someone else? Cause that’s what I’m going to do now. In fact, I might even heckle you during your time.”   
  
Bobby waved his comment off. “Oh quiet, you know what I mean!”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “I’ll throw my shoe at you.”   
  
Bobby frowned. “No the Doc Marten’s, those are heavy! You might actually hurt me.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at him. “I’ll bring a pair of your mom’s slippers and throw those.” Bobby laughed at the comment and finally stopped pacing, sitting down on Jinhwan’s bed.   
  
“Honestly though, I’m nervous about this. What do I do if I fuck up?” Bobby wasn’t usually so nervous about things, and maybe it was because he was actually starting to get really passionate about this. Rapping was different from basketball. There was a defined way to judge whether or not you were a good basketball player, there were statistics and predefined actions for you to perform.. But rapping was subjective, and just because one person enjoyed his rap, it didn’t mean that anyone else would. And even if people enjoyed it, that still wouldn’t mean that it was actually  _ good. _   
  
Jinhwan patted his leg. “You’ll be fine. You’re not rapping to save lives or anything. If you fuck it up, just try again the following week. This is your first time, after all, you’re bound to be garbage, objectively speaking.”   
  
Bobby frowned at him, playing up the insult even if it did make him feel a tiny bit better. “Thanks, Jinan. You always know exactly what to say to make me doubt myself even more.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him and leaned forward to wrap his arms around him. “That’s what I’m here for!”   
  
Bobby smiled and leaned against Jinhwan grateful that he was always willing to be cuddly when Bobby was feeling insecure. It was a side of himself he didn’t want anyone else seeing. He was working on it with Hanbin, but it came out more naturally around Jinhwan. “What am I gonna do when you leave me?”   
  
Jinhwan wrapped his arms tighter around Bobby, and he knew the comment was equally honest as it was teasing. “You’ll be fine, you have Hanbin now.”   
  
Bobby sighed and while he agreed on one level, sometimes what you needed was your best friend, and not your boyfriend. “Yeah, and I love Hanbin, but he’s not you. Sometimes I just need you.”   
  
Jinhwan understood the feeling, especially since he and Bobby were both older than their boyfriends. Even though Hanbin was easily more mature and attuned with himself than Bobby was, he knew that Bobby still wanted to act strong in front of him. “I’d say call me anytime you need me, but if you wake me up at four in the morning I’m gonna be pissed.”   
  
Bobby grinned. “Come on, Jinan, our feelings don’t operate on timed schedules. I’d wake up at 4 for you!”   
  
“No you wouldn’t! You’re a heavier sleeper than me, you probably wouldn’t even hear the phone.” Jinhwan shot back.   
  
“Well, okay, true. But I’d  _ want to _ !”   
  
“I’m gonna call you at 4 in the morning just to test that theory.”   
  
“Go for it,” Bobby replied, “but I probably won’t answer. Actually call me at 6 in the morning, two hours won’t make that much of a difference, right?”   
  
“Weren’t you the one saying we weren’t operating on timed schedules?!” Jinhwan replied, pinching his arm for good measure.   
  
“Ow! I’m just trying to find a good resolution. We should set up a communication schedule, find the best time for us.” Bobby said, and he did mean it, seriously. It was still a few months away, but he was going to miss having Jinhwan available to him at all hours of the day. How can you go to having someone be just down the hall from you, to having them halfway across the world?   
  
Jinhwan smiled and patted his head. “Let’s do that. It’ll give us peace of mind, at least.”   
  
Bobby smiled at the answer, because he knew Jinhwan wasn’t just joking around. They always had that way of knowing with each other, when to switch from jokes to being serious. He was going to miss it. “Have you and Junhoe set up something like that?” Bobby asked.   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, we haven’t really talked about it.”   
  
“What do you mean you haven’t talked about it?” Bobby was surprised to hear it. If he was leaving Hanbin for months, the first thing he’d want to do is establish when and how they were going to talk.   
  
“Well, we kind of promised each other to not talk about it until it was closer,” Jinhwan replied, “I mean, I don’t even know what we’re going to do.” He struggled to keep his voice from cracking, because suddenly emotions were rushing in.   
  
“Oh,” Bobby replied, like he’d finally put it together, “you might not stay together.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Yeah.” He wanted to say more, but he didn’t trust himself not to get upset. He didn’t want to cry over this, not yet, at any rate.   
  
Bobby wasn’t sure why it surprised him so much. He’d just assumed they’d stay together and deal with the long distance separation. But what if they didn’t? What if they split up and couldn’t even bring themselves to stay in touch because it would hurt too much?   
  
“I’m sorry for asking,” Bobby replied, tightening his arm around Jinhwan.   
  
“It’s okay,” Jinhwan replied, “I don’t blame you, I’d be curious too if I were you.”   
  
“What do you hope happens?” Bobby asked, and he hopes that Jinhwan doesn’t get upset over the question.   
  
Jinhwan’s been thinking about this off and on, even though he tries not to. But he always comes to the same conclusion. “I don’t want to break up with him.”   
  
“You’re going to make him make the decision, then?” Bobby asked.   
  
Jinhwan shuddered a little at the thought. “Yeah. I’ll tell him that I’ll do whatever he wants. I don’t want to pressure him, not everyone can handle long distance.”   
  
“Yeah,” Bobby replied, “but you should tell him how you feel. So he knows.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded but didn’t say anything. Bobby was right, he knew that. But that still wouldn’t make it any easier.


	10. Heart Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan and Junhoe celebrate Junhoe's birthday, while Taeyong meets Daehee for a round of basketball.

 

>   _"It's just me and you tonight  
>    Why don't you figure my heart out"  
>                                     _"[Heart Out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d32VfZ5Pf0w)" The 1975

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re going for Diaz,” Junhoe complained, “it’s my birthday, you should be cheering for McGregor.”  
  
“Sorry babe, you know it pains me because I don’t even like Diaz, hell I can’t stand either of them, but he’s got his black belt now from Cesar Gracie, and he’s upped his boxing skills. What’s McGregor done aside from run his mouth?”  
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure if Jinhwan was being serious. “He’s destroying everyone he gets in the ring with!”  
  
Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and he’s been a cocky asshole about it.”  
  
“I can’t believe YOU are hating on someone for being a cocky asshole in victory,” Junhoe replied, sitting back in his chair and shaking his head.  
  
Jinhwan grinned at the comparison. “I’m young! And not a professional! I’ve learned the error of my ways, I’m not cocky anymore.”  
  
“Only cause you’re a brown belt now and you’re getting your ass kicked.” Junhoe teased, grinning when Jinhwan looked at him in shock.  
  
“Let me know when you want a rematch, I’ll still kick your ass.” Jinhwan teased back.  
  
“Unlikely,” Junhoe replied, “I have intimate knowledge of how you fight now, I know all your tells.”  
  
“Please, even though I outclass you on the mat, all I’d have to do is accidentally grab your dick and you’d too distracted to fight me.” Jinhwan smiled teasingly at Junhoe, who glared at him.  
  
“Dirty tactics, I wouldn’t put that beyond you!”  
  
“Don’t worry though, just like your boy McGregor is so fond of saying, I’ll still eat you alive when it’s over.” Jinhwan reached out and squeezed his thigh, and Junhoe wanted to curse his own body but it actually got him hard.  
  
“Fuck off and eat your chicken,” Junhoe replied, grabbing a piece out of the basket.  
  
Jinhwan grinned in victory and kept his hand where it was on Junhoe’s thigh, not pushing any further only because they were out in public. They were currently at a sports bar, sharing a basket of fried chicken and watching the UFC pay per view. It was Junhoe’s birthday, and when Jinhwan had asked him what he wanted, he’d been surprised when this had been Junhoe’s request. He said he didn’t really want a physical present. He just wanted to spend the day together and watch some mixed martial arts.  
  
Jinhwan had still gotten him a gift anyway—a Connor McGregor shirt that he was going to give him after the last fight (regardless of whether or not McGregor won). Otherwise he’d just agreed to pay for everything today.  
  
He’d probably let Junhoe fuck him later too, if they managed to get some time alone somewhere private.  
  
“Did you hear the dumb shit McGregor said at the press conference?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe glared at him.  
  
“You’re going to repeat it anyway, right?” Junhoe replied before taking another bite of chicken.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Sure am! That comparison to Vincent Van Gogh?” Jinhwan rolled his eyes before continuing. “ _He dedicated his life to his art and lost his mind in the process, that’s what happened to me._ What kind of dumbass thing to say was that?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head in irritation. “It’s actually a cool line!”  
  
“Oh my god, you’re falling for his bullshit! I’m so embarrassed for you.” Jinhwan teased, elbowing him in the ribs.  
  
“It’s a testament to how much of himself he puts into his craft!” Junhoe countered.  
  
Jinhwan gave him an incredulous look. “It’s edgy bullshit.”  
  
“Do you have to sit there and diss my favourite fighter on my birthday?” Junhoe grumbled back at him.  
  
“Yes.” Jinhwan replied with a smirk, before blowing him a kiss.  
  
“Say what you want, hyung, I like McGregor’s confidence.”  
  
Jinhwan sighed. “He said his ideal opponent is _himself,_ and that he wants to replace the banner hanging on the side of the MGM Grand of Floyd Mayweather with his own banner. That’s not confidence, that’s straight up cockiness.”  
  
“Reminds me of you when we first met,” Junhoe countered.  
  
Jinhwan grinned at him. “We’ve already been over this! I was young and impressionable, and that me would have probably loved McGregor’s shit talking. But I have become wiser over the past year—”  
  
“Because you got your ass kicked—”  
  
“Because I got my ass kicked, yes. I was made humble in my defeat. I saw the error of my ways.” He hadn’t really seen anything—Jinhwan still had a cocky side to him a mile wide, but it was fun to pretend otherwise.  
  
Junhoe grinned at him and grabbed another piece of chicken. “You’d better stay humble when you get to LA, hyung. You’ll be alone and friendless, surrounded by guys who could ruin you.”  
  
“I’ll be okay, I’ll do all my shit talking in Korean when I’m at BJJ class, no one will know.” Jinhwan replied, making Junhoe laugh. He watched him for a moment, fond of the way Junhoe’s face crinkled up when he laughed. It was cute. They watched the Anderson-Lawlor fight next, putting aside the shit talking of earlier to assess the fight. Jinhwan loved being able to talk about the details with Junhoe, loved knowing that he was watching with someone who knew what they were talking about. Before Junhoe, he’d watched the fights with Bobby, who didn’t really know anything, and occasionally he’d get lucky and Jiun would join them.  
  
But it was nice to be out in public watching with Junhoe, sharing food and being a little affectionate in the process. When they finished their chicken Junhoe sat back in his chair and put his arm on the back of Jinhwan’s chair, and Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin at the gesture.  
  
When it was finally time for the main event Jinhwan started his shit talking again, grinning when Junhoe glared at him. He knew Junhoe wasn’t really angry, though. Junhoe enjoyed their arguments, loved bickering back and forth.  
  
“So how do you think McGregor’s gonna lose the fight?” Jinhwan asked.  
  
“Nice try, but he’s going to win it by knockout, the same thing he did to Aldo back in December.”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “Not happening. Diaz can take knocks better than Aldo, and really, McGregor’s lighter anyway, how much did he have to put on to move up weight classes? Wonder if that’ll make him sluggish.”  
  
Junhoe waved the question off. “No chance, not with his training. He’ll be fine at welterweight.”  
  
“I don’t think so. Diaz will out power him.”  
  
“Ugh, god hyung, I can’t believe the shit coming out of your mouth. Do you even know what you’re saying? It doesn’t matter about the size, McGregor could fuck anyone up. Diaz doesn’t have the skill that McGregor’s got.”  
  
“He never used to,” Jinhwan replied, “but I’m telling you, he’s been training hard. I think we’ll see a different Diaz tonight, and then you’ll be crying into your chicken bones.”  
  
“No chance. Hope you enjoy your shit talking while you can.” Junhoe replied, excited for the fight and happy they’d come out to watch it. There was something about watching with a group of people that just made it more fun.  
  
They watched highlights of the pre-match press conference and Jinhwan laughed at McGregor’s over the top theatrics.  
  
“Oh I forgot about that line!” Jinhwan said. _“I’m going to toy with the young boy. I’m going to play with him._ Sounds like something I’d have said about you last year.”  
  
Junhoe laughed, because it really was something Jinhwan would have said. “Guess you and McGregor have more in common than you think.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jinhwan leaned in closer so he could speak directly into Junhoe’s ear, “you worship the both of us.” He couldn’t help but tease him, grinning when Junhoe shook his head.  
  
“Ah, you’re such an idiot, hyung.” He said it with a smile on his face, though, and a second later he turned his head to plant a quick kiss on Jinhwan’s cheek. They watched the match and traded comments, Junhoe screaming in Jinhwan’s ear when McGregor cut Diaz above the eye in the first round. Jinhwan took it with a smile, shaking his head at Junhoe’s outburst.  
  
“Ah, hyung, first round is obviously McGregor’s!” Junhoe said as he sat back after the bell, looking pleased with himself.  
  
Jinhwan wished they had more chicken left so he could shove a piece in Junhoe’s mouth. “Yeah, sure, but Diaz can take hits. I’m not worried.”  
  
“You should be,” Junhoe replied, “we should have bet on the fight.”  
  
“We still can if you want.” Jinhwan said.  
  
“Ah, it would feel like I’m cheating, hyung. There’s no way Diaz is getting out of this. No chance! He’s going to be victim number seventeen in a few minutes!” Junhoe crowed, excited after the intense first round.  
  
“We’ll see.” The second round got underway and while things started out well for Junhoe, soon enough it was Jinhwan gripping Junhoe’s arm tightly, yelling in his ear. “Did you see that left? Did you see how rocked McGregor was? I told you! He can’t take hits as well.”  
  
“He’s fine—”  
  
“He’s stumbling! Your boy is going down!” Jinhwan was happy to pay Junhoe back for the loud first round, yelling in his ear when Diaz took McGregor down and mounted, pummeling his face with blows.  
  
Junhoe watched in disbelief, frowning at the screen and hoping for a reversal. It looked bad, though, as much as he hated to admit it. It looked really bad.  
  
“Oh my god he’s going for it, he’s going for the choke, oh my god Junhoe this is it, this is it!” Jinhwan stood up, leaning on Junhoe’s back and screaming in his ear as Diaz locked in the rear naked choke, yelling in victory when McGregor tapped out.  
  
Junhoe sat with a stunned look on his face, in disbelief at what he was seeing. Submitted… The worst way to go out in his opinion.  
  
Jinhwan was happy that McGregor had lost, but was sad Junhoe’s pick hadn’t won. He probably should have given him his present before the match, he hoped Junhoe wouldn’t think he was rubbing it in if he gave it to him now.  
  
“Hey, babe?” Jinhwan said, sitting back down and leaning in close to him while the post-match interviews went on.  
  
Junhoe turned his head just slightly to look at him. “What?” He was wary of Jinhwan’s pending comment, wondering if he’d take it easy on him or rub it in for the rest of the night.  
  
“Sorry your boy lost,” Jinhwan replied, before pulling something out of his bag, “I should have given this to you before the fight, but I was really hoping he’d win so I held on to it.” Jinhwan gave the shirt to Junhoe, who looked down at it and smiled.  
  
“I told you not to buy me anything,” Junhoe replied, but of course he was happy with the gift, regardless of the loss, “but it’s perfect.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and kissed his cheek, happy that he wasn’t moody about the loss. “I’ll let you tap me later,” he teased.  
  
Junhoe grinned back. "You'll let me put you in the rear naked choke? Emphasis on the naked?"  
  
Jinhwan nodded. "Yeah, emphasis on the naked."

* * *

  
“Dude!”  
  
Taeyong bent down to retrieve the ball with a grin on his face. “What?”  
  
“Can you please stop throwing elbows at me?” Daehee held a hand against his cheek, fixing Taeyong with a hurt look.  
  
“I’m not throwing elbows at you! That’s just what my arms are naturally doing. It’s not my fault you keep walking into them. Maybe open your eyes a little.” Taeyong tossed the ball at him, laughing when it struck him in the chest and bounced away.  
  
“Seriously, you’re such an ass today.” Daehee hurried after the ball, picking it up and whipping it at Taeyong without warning. Taeyong managed to move out of the way just in time, laughing at the scowl on Daehee’s face.  
  
“Need to work on your aim a little there, Dae!”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll stick to basketball and stay away from dodgeball.” Daehee grinned back at him.  
  
“Smart idea.” Taeyong picked the ball up again and made a proper pass to him. “Let’s have another go, and I promise I’ll keep my elbows tucked in just for you.”  
  
“Yeah, you have to protect this beautiful face of mine, right?” Daehee joked, catching the ball and taking up his spot to practice layups.  
  
“I wouldn’t call it beautiful. You’re a solid _not ugly_ at best.” Taeyong replied teasingly, before running in to block Daehee.  
  
“Say what you want, I know I’m good looking.”  
  
“Why, because your mom says you are?” Taeyong teased, trying to steal possession.  
  
“No, because Haeun says I am.” Daehee took advantage of Taeyong’s moment of surprise to pass around him and take a shot at the basket. It went in and he went off to retrieve the ball.  
  
“Park Haeun? Said that you are good looking?” Taeyong stared at him in shock.  
  
Daehee smirked back at him. “Don’t sound so surprised!”  
  
Taeyong shook his head. “I didn’t think you were her type.”  
  
“Oh yeah? What did you think her type was?”  
  
“Good looking guys.” Taeyong grinned.  
  
“Man, fuck off. She talks to me all the time now, I’ll have you know. Think I’m gonna ask her out soon.” Daehee looked smug, and he threw a three pointer, grinning when it went in.  
  
“Can I have her number?” Taeyong asked, serious.  
  
“Why?” Daehee replied, looking wary.  
  
“So I can give her my condolences.” Taeyong teased, grinning when Daehee glared at him.  
  
“You’re such an ass, Taeyong! You were never this mean to me.”  
  
Taeyong moved in towards him, making a grab for the newly retrieved ball. “Well, I’m a changed man, Daehee. Live with it.”  
  
Daehee scowled, trying to block him. “I blame Kim Hanbin. Clearly being around him is making you so miserable you’re taking it out on me, your best friend.”  
  
Taeyong huffed in irritation at the name. “Fuck, don’t get me started on him, I was in a good mood!”  
  
Daehee grinned and reached out to pinch his cheek. “Aww, Tae Tae. What’s wrong? Did he not welcome you with open arms?”  
  
Taeyong swatted at Daehee’s hand. “He’s super fucking annoying, that’s what’s wrong.”  
  
“Why, is he being his usual rude self?”  
  
Taeyong shook his head, annoyed now that they’d started talking about him. “No, he’s being nosey. He keeps needling me for information about why I moved. I mean we got off to a super rocky start, and it was fine, but then he actually started being nice to me, but I know he’s just looking for information.”  
  
Daehee stopped in his tracks, mouth open in shock. “Wait, Kim Hanbin is being _nice_ ? That’s unheard of.”  
  
Taeyong nodded. “It’s only because he’s the captain. Has to play the part well so everyone keeps kissing his ass.” Taeyong frowned. “He keeps saying that he wants to put our rivalry behind us, says we shouldn’t be enemies anymore.”  
  
“Of course he would, trying to look like the bigger person.”  
  
“It just irritates me thinking about it. We’re even lab partners in chemistry.” Taeyong hadn’t really complained much about it, because he couldn’t really bitch to Woosung anymore. That was half the reason why he’d finally accepted Daehee’s invitation to hang out after weeks of avoiding him.  
  
Daehee scowled and shook his head. “Fuck dude, sorry to hear that. Is he smart, at least? Or is he making you do all the work?”  
  
“No, he’s actually really intelligent, it’s like his _only_ saving grace. I thought for sure he’d be the type to scam his way into good grades, but he’s actually one of the top students.” It annoyed him when he thought about it. Hanbin truly had _everything_ that Taeyong wanted in life. It just wasn’t fair.  
  
“Wow, that’s surprising. I always had him pegged as someone who would talk his way into getting good grades for the sake of sports.”  
  
“I know. Just pisses me off even more, though. Like this asshole has _everything,_ Dae. There’s no way that someone like him is as nice as he’s pretending to be around me. I don’t buy it for a fucking second.”  
  
Daehee shook his head, watching Taeyong with calculating eyes. He’d been wanting to talk about Hanbin, because he was supposed to be finding out how Taeyong was doing around him. But he hadn’t wanted to pry on his own. But now it was time to dig a little deeper, make sure Taeyong wasn’t falling prey to him. “Still, it’s too bad. I mean you guys are both super smart and the best at basketball. It’s almost like you’re the same person, you’d be dangerous as friends.”  
  
Taeyong agreed with Daehee, though he was careful to never voice that much out loud. But try as he might to fight it, there was also another side to it that he didn’t even like to admit in his own head. As annoying as Hanbin was, and as much as he couldn’t stand him, Taeyong knew part of that was only to hide his own potential attraction. Because Hanbin was everything Taeyong found attractive in a guy. They’d be dangerous friends, for sure, but they’d be unstoppable as a couple. They were both smart and powerful, both intimidating to other people who were below them. That was the sort of relationship Taeyong had always envisioned himself having. He’d grown up watching his own mother cower before his father, nothing more than a puppet who parrotted his opinions back to him. Taeyong didn’t want that. He wanted someone who was every bit as confident and aggressive as he was.  
  
But he’d take the rivalry over any other possibilities any day of the week, because there was no way he and Hanbin could ever co-exist happily. Not as friends, and sure as hell not as anything more.  
  
“Have you ever thought about it?” Daehee asked, and for one panicked moment Taeyong thought he meant a relationship.  
  
“About what?”  
  
“About dropping the rivalry and being friends.” Daehee was standing with the ball in his arms, watching him, and Taeyong felt nervous for a moment. Why was Daehee asking?  
  
“Of course not.”  
  
Daehee shrugged. “I mean, it really wasn’t until your dad started talking all kinds of shit about him that you started hating him. So really, you’re rivals because your dad made you rivals.”  
  
“We’re rivals because I hate losing.” Taeyong replied, narrowed eyes trained on Daehee’s face. It was a weird shift in the conversation, to go from talking about what an asshole Hanbin had been, to wondering if he’d make a good friend.  
  
“You hate losing because you dad was always the world’s biggest asshole to you any time you lost. No matter how you look at it, really, you hate Hanbin because of your dad.” Daehee looked back at him, his expression oddly neutral.  
  
“Are you trying to say I should be friends with him?” Taeyong asked, wondering what Daehee’s whole purpose was. Daehee hated Hanbin for more reasons than just basketball, and it was weird to hear him talk about Hanbin and not mention his sexuality.  
  
Daehee shook his head. “Not at all. It’s just weird, when you think about it. Plus, can you imagine how pissed off your dad would be if he heard you were friends now?”  
  
Taeyong was careful in his response, not wanting to say anything that might sound suspect. There was no telling who Daehee might be reporting back to about this conversation. “Daehee that would be counter-productive to my life. I don’t want to piss my dad off anymore than he’s already pissed off.”  
  
Daehee grinned at him. “Yeah, true. Still, you know I’ve got no love for your dad. He’s always treated you like shit.” Regardless of his other ulterior motives, reminding Taeyong that his dad was an asshole would always be first on his list. He’d watched Taeyong cater to his dad on one too many occasions to ever hold any sort of admiration for the older man.  
  
“Can we not talk about my dad, please?” Taeyong just wanted to drop the topic. He knew Daehee was right, but it didn’t make it any less painful.  
  
“Sorry, bro. How are things with your grandma?”  
  
Taeyong wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about her either. “Tense. She keeps making me go to this therapy thing at church, I fucking hate it. I skipped a few times for basketball and it just pissed her off.”  
  
Daehee frowned, because he knew exactly what sort of therapy Taeyong was taking. “Well, it’s to help you, isn’t it? So shouldn’t you be going?”  
  
While Daehee had brought up the topic of conversion therapy before, it had been weeks since he’d mentioned it, and Taeyong had never told Daehee anything specific about what he was doing at church, but of course it didn’t surprise him that Daehee seemed to know exactly what was going on. Taeyong just wasn’t sure who’d told him about it. “The methods aren’t exactly all that helpful, to be honest. It feels like a big waste of time.”  
  
Daehee shrugged. “Maybe you need to find another church.”  
  
Taeyong struggled, how could he explain this without admitting his feelings to Daehee? He knew Daehee was ultra religious, just like his parents. Taeyong had to tread carefully. “Yeah, maybe, but my grandma is set on me going to that one.”  
  
Daehee nodded and decided to drop the subject for now. He’d let her know what Taeyong’s response had been, though, because it was troubling. “How’s the social life outside of basketball, by the way? Are you, uh, are you dating anyone?”  
  
Taeyong wondered what Daehee would think if he said yes. Would he assume it was a girl, that he was doing it in some attempt to cleanse himself?  
  
“No, I’m not interested in anyone I’ve met.” That much was true, at least. He couldn’t be interested in any new guys if he didn’t really get to know any new guys.  
  
Daehee wasn’t sure if he’d gotten an honest answer out of him, but he went right into his main plan for the night. “Ah that’s too bad. You know there’s a new girl in our class this year, Haeun is getting to be friends with her. She’s really hot.”  
  
Taeyong felt like rolling his eyes, because he knew what Daehee was doing. “Oh yeah, you sure you should be saying that? What if Haeun hears about you calling some other girl hot?”  
  
Daehee grinned at him. “Nah man, not for me! I’m just saying she’s attractive. And I’m telling you, her personality, man she reminds me a lot of you, actually. Like, I think you guys would make a solid couple, you’d really like her.”  
  
Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek. There it was, eternal proof that Daehee would never be happy with him if he remained true to how he felt inside.  
  
“I mean, you know whenever you start liking girls again. Maybe the problem is that you just never met the right one? Maybe I should set something up, you know? Maybe the four of us go out sometime together?” Daehee offered, wondering if Taeyong would take the bait. He wanted to try, desperately wanted to do his part to make Taeyong normal again.  
  
Taeyong nodded, forcing himself not to say no right away. “Yeah, maybe.”  
  
Daehee grinned at him. “I mean it would probably make your grandma happy, right?”  
  
Taeyong nodded, and honestly, that was reason enough to agree to it. “Probably.”  
  
“Get her off your back for a bit. What do you say? Should I set it up?” Daehee waited, curious about what Taeyong’s answer would be. If he refused, it would be a terrible sign. Of course agreeing wouldn’t necessarily mean anything either, but it would still be better than refusing.  
  
Taeyong wanted to say no. Wanted to scream at Daehee for refusing to understand that something like sexuality couldn’t just be prayed away, no matter how much he wanted to believe it. He wanted to curse him and ask him to accept him as he was. But he knew that Daehee could never do that.  
  
“Yeah, sure.” So instead he went the easy route, he took the path of least resistance, and he said yes.


	11. You Surround Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuk discusses Yunhyeong with Jinhwan and Hanbin; Taeyong has a stressful discussion with Father Choi; Bobby seeks out Hanbin's opinion before his first time performing.

> _"Don't ever let me take you for granted  
> _   _You've got your finger on the pulse of my soul"  
>                               "_[You Surround Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLqKiqaS-DU)" Erasure

* * *

A week after talking to Junhoe about his reservations, Donghyuk still hadn’t mustered up the courage to approach Yunhyeong about it. There had been two good opportunities, but right when he’d been on the verge of talking he’d decided to drop the topic, because really, things weren’t bad. A conversation like the one he wanted to have might just bring up all sorts of negative things, or it might make Yunhyeong think that he was being difficult.   
  
It wasn’t like they’d been together for that long, either. It had only been a few months. Maybe this was just a sign from God that he needed to work on being patient. Good things come to those who wait, right? Maybe he was just being too impatient, wanted everything faster than he deserved to have it.   
  
He’d take it slow, then. Even if it killed him.   
  
And currently, listening to the conversation Hanbin and Jinhwan were having, it was killing him.   
  
“How come you’ve been so quiet?” Jinhwan asked him, finally picking up on the fact that Donghyuk had stopped contributing to the conversation once they’d started talking about sex.   
  
He knew he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it. He’d already talked to Junhoe, he didn’t need to talk to all of his friends about this… Did he?   
  
“They clearly haven’t done it yet, hyung,” Hanbin said teasingly, “Donghyuk would have told me by now if they had.”   
  
Donghyuk couldn’t help but blush—Hanbin wasn’t wrong, after all. But Hanbin probably didn’t realize how little they’d done either.   
  
“Why not?” Jinhwan asked, “are you nervous about it? Is Yunhyeong not taking care of you?”   
  
Donghyuk wasn’t sure if the comment was serious or teasing, because Jinhwan usually liked to skirt the line between the two. But then, well, he’d just brought up the root of it himself, hadn’t he? It wouldn’t hurt to get more opinions.   
  
“It’s not me, hyung,” Donghyuk started, only to be interrupted.   
  
“It is Yunhyeong, then, not doing a good job!” Jinhwan replied, and the teasing was evident in his tone.   
  
Donghyuk felt embarrassed already, but he pushed on anyway. “Well, it’s not that he isn’t doing a good job, whatever that’s supposed to mean. He’s a really good boyfriend, he takes me out to interesting places all the time, we always have a good time together.”   
  
“There’s a but in there,” Hanbin said critically.   
  
Donghyuk met his look and nodded. “He’s great and I really love spending time with him, but nothing is happening when we’re alone. We’ve kissed but that’s it. Like nothing else. And it’s not me,” he said quickly, looking at Jinhwan, “I want to. Just the other week I tried changing in front of him, you know as a test, and he didn’t even look at me. He just looked away. Not even a peek.”   
  
Jinhwan felt bad then for approaching it in a teasing manner. Both of his relationships had gotten physical very quickly, so he couldn’t relate to having to wait like Donghyuk was doing. “Does he know you want to do more? Have you talked about it?”   
  
Donghyuk shook his head. “No, not yet. I know I should talk to him, but I’m nervous about it.”   
  
“Nervous about talking, or something else?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
Donghyuk could feel his stomach knotting at the fact that he was about to admit his actual insecurity to them. He hadn’t quite broached it with Junhoe, not fully. “I’m nervous that he’s not really attracted to me. I know he likes me, but you can feel affection for people without being physically attracted to them. I’ve had crushes on guys before who I didn’t think were good looking, all because their personalities attracted me. What if it’s like that for Yunhyeong?”   
  
Hanbin was surprised to hear the concern, because he’d seen how touchy Yunhyeong had gotten in public. “Why would you think he’s not attracted to you?”   
  
“Well, that time I mentioned! I’d been feeling worried about it, so changing in front of him was like a test. If he at least tried to sneak a peek at me, I’d have felt better. But he kept his eyes on the wall, like he actively didn’t want to see me without a shirt on. Who looks away when their boyfriend undresses?” The more he kept thinking about it the more it ate at him, though he kept trying to not make it a big deal. It just made him certain that Yunhyeong didn’t like the way he looked.   
  
“Maybe he’s insecure in himself? Or it might just be that he’s old fashioned,” Hanbin said, “you know Junhoe always used to tease him about that. Maybe he just thought you’d be uncomfortable if he stared at you.”   
  
Donghyuk couldn’t help but feel frustrated by the same response. “Well clearly I’m not uncomfortable if I’m changing in front of him. You’d think he’d pick up on that without me having to say anything.”   
  
Hanbin shrugged. “Well, maybe he just thinks it’s too early to be doing anything.”   
  
“Yeah, that’s what Junhoe said.”   
  
“Hold on,” Hanbin stared at him in surprise, before glancing at Jinhwan, who looked amused, “you talked to Junhoe about this before us?”   
  
Donghyuk nodded. “Yeah, well, he knows Yunhyeong better than you two.”   
  
“No, I know that, it’s just… Junhoe giving relationship advice. It’s so weird.” Hanbin couldn’t help but grin, also finding it funny. Had Junhoe really matured that much in the span of half a year that he was giving relationship advice now that made sense? It felt like some kind of alternate reality.   
  
Jinhwan nudged Hanbin. “I’ll have you know he’s actually a very good boyfriend. Listens well and does as he’s told.”   
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “Yeah you’ve already hinted at that enough, we don’t need specific details about your sex life, hyung.”   
  
“Fair is fair, I have to listen to Bobby talking about you, you should have to hear about Junhoe!” Jinhwan replied with a laugh.   
  
Donghyuk glared at both of them. “Okay this is cute and all, but can we please talk about me? What do I do about Yunhyeong?”   
  
Jinhwan focused on Donghyuk again, giving him a sympathetic smile. “You stop worrying yourself over the unknown and talk to him. Keeping it bottled up inside is not going to help, trust me. Because if you go on saying nothing, then when you do say something you’re going to explode and get angry.”   
  
Donghyuk frowned at the response. “I know, it’s just difficult to figure out how to bring it up.” The whole thing was embarrassing and made him feel anxious. He just wanted what everyone else had, without having to have a conversation about it.   
  
“What’s the worst thing that could happen when you tell him?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
“He admits that he’s not attracted to me.” Donghyuk replied, and it hurt to say it out loud and contemplate the possibility that he’s right.   
  
“But he’s still attracted to you emotionally and romantically. Doesn’t that count for something?” Jinhwan asked, and he knew it wouldn’t be enough for him. He didn’t think it would really be enough for Donghyuk, either, at least not given this conversation. But it was important to figure out what you needed in a relationship as opposed to what you wanted.   
  
“Sure it does, but I’m attracted to him physically, so I want him to be attracted to me too! I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t want to see me naked.” Donghyuk could feel his eyes welling up, frustrated that he was getting upset over it so easily.   
  
“Maybe he’s still coming to terms with the whole being attracted to guys thing, and he’s not looking at you because he’s got some kind of repressed guilt about it. He might not even realize it.” Jinhwan replied, wanting to find a better answer for Donghyuk. He wasn’t used to seeing him so upset.   
  
“Don’t forget that he never dated anyone before you, either, at least not that I ever heard of. So everything is new to him, not just guys.” Hanbin added.   
  
“See, there’s that, too! Possibly a combination of repressed guilt and just being super shy because you’re his first.” Jinhwan summarized, “but you won’t know for sure until you talk to him. So please stop getting yourself worked up over this and just sort it out, okay? We don’t like seeing you upset, you’re supposed to be our little ball of sunshine. So stop making your own rain clouds, okay?” Jinhwan reached out to squeeze his hand.   
  
Donghyuk couldn’t help but smile at Jinhwan’s comment. He did feel a little better now at getting it off his chest, and maybe they were right. Maybe he was expecting more than Yunhyeong was ready to give him. “Thanks for the advice, guys.”   
  
“Learn from my mistake last year,” Jinhwan said with a grin, “keeping things to yourself for too long will always backfire and kick your ass later. Address things as they come up so it never catches anyone by surprise.”   
  
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m just afraid,” Donghyuk replied, “I’ve always been a little insecure about my looks.” It wasn’t something he often spoke about, but the insecurity had been there since he was a kid.   
  
Jinhwan looked at him in confusion. “What? But you’re actually super attractive. You gonna tell me you don’t look at yourself in the mirror and think you’re cute?”   
  
Donghyuk shrugged. “Well, looks are subjective. I don’t think I’m ugly, and sometimes I think my face is cute. But I struggled a lot with my weight when I was younger. It’s hard for me to keep it off.”   
  
Hanbin shot him a look of confusion too. “I’ve seen you shirtless a few times at boxing, you have a great body. You wouldn’t know it since you wear all those big t-shirts and hoodies.”   
  
“Yeah, but that’s because I work out all the time and I’m on a diet. If I wasn’t careful I’d be a lot bigger.” He hated dieting, but it was a necessary evil if he wanted to look good.   
  
Jinhwan frowned at the comment. “Did you get teased as a kid for your weight?”   
  
Donghyuk nodded. “Yeah, my weight coupled with me being really smart made me a bit of a target when I lived in America. I know it’s in the past, but I can’t help but worry about it anyway. It’s stupid, I know.” It was embarrassing to admit your insecurities so openly, and he almost wished he could take it all back. Maybe it would have been better to say nothing.   
  
Jinhwan squeezed his hand tighter, feeling a surge of protective energy hit him. “It’s not stupid, you’re allowed to be insecure. Just don’t let your insecurity keep you from being happy.”   
  
“Yeah, you have to stay on top of it! I’m glad you told us, we can help you.” Hanbin agreed.   
  
Donghyuk felt relief at their response, grateful that they cared enough to be so supportive. “Guys, that’s really sweet of you, but I’m okay. I just need to muster up my courage and talk to him.” That was easier said than done, but he’d just wait for the right opportunity. It would come eventually.   
  


* * *

  
“How is your relationship with your father? Have you spoken to him recently?”   
  
Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek to keep calm. It would be better than lashing out and kicking the desk with his foot, which is what he wanted to do. “No, I haven’t, Father Choi.”   
  
The priest nodded. “Perhaps I should discuss a family therapy session. I believe that your ill-founded attraction comes from a deep-rooted desire to be loved by your father. Am I correct in guessing that you have never been that close?”   
  
Taeyong gripped the arms of his chair tightly, hating that this topic was coming up. “Our relationship has always been slightly strained, Father.” It was bullshit, his attraction to men had nothing to do with his dad! But then again, it might be an easy way to speed the process of  _ recovery _ along, if he used it as the excuse he needed.   
  
“Yes, I am not surprised. Every single boy like you who comes along to me has always had a difficult relationship with his father. Often times fathers do not see how a lack of paternal affection can create such problems. Are you close with your mother?”   
  
Taeyong hesitated before answering. Should he have been close to her? If he gave the wrong answer, would the priest suspect that something was off? “Yes, Father, I’ve always been closer to my mother.” Not particularly true. He wasn’t any closer to her than he was to his father. His mother just hadn’t berated him when he fell short of outrageous expectations.   
  
Father Choi nodded, like he’d been expecting the answer. “Yes, that as well is quite common given your predilection. If a boy grows up with only his mother’s influence, then it’s not surprising he might be touched by the weakness of women. If the only example you have is one of a subservient role, catering to the man, then of course you would be become confused, and desire that yourself.”   
  
Taeyong bit his tongue and hoped the feeling of disgust that bubbled up in his stomach wasn’t showing on his face. It was another load of bullshit! While his mother had constantly lived in the shadow of his father, it only made Taeyong despise the idea. He wanted the complete opposite, both for himself and for a partner. How was he supposed to play into this idea now, that he’d been influenced by it? He wasn’t sure he’d be able to. But he’d try. Anything to get through this quicker. “I’d never thought that of that, Father Choi. But it makes sense.”   
  
The priest smiled at him in a condescending manner, which only made Taeyong angrier. “Most boys who hear that balk at the notion,” he said, critical eyes on Taeyong, “but perhaps our talks are beginning to make you see your situation more clearly.”   
  
Taeyong nodded. “Yes, Father. I value and trust your knowledge and input.”   
  
Father Choi didn’t respond right away, he just watched him. Taeyong wasn’t sure if he was supposed to keep his eyes on the priest. Would it be better if he looked away? What would be more convincing?   
  
“Have you been keeping up with your prayers?”   
  
Taeyong nodded, even though it was a lie. “Of course, Father. Every day, morning and night.”   
  
“And is it helping?”   
  
“Yes, Father. It keeps me focused.”   
  
The priest was silent again and Taeyong could feel the nerves jumble in his stomach. It was almost like he suspected the lies, like he knew that nothing was really changing. He just couldn’t prove it. “I think you’ve done well with our one on one therapy, Taeyong. But it’s very easy to slide back when you’re on such a slippery slope. I’d like you to start joining my group therapy sessions with some other at risk members.”   
  
Taeyong swallowed hard, wondering if this was normal. Or was it some other test? Was he hoping to catch him in some lie? Maybe thinking he’d drop his guard around other gay guys? “Whatever you think is necessary, Father.”   
  
“I think it would be wise, to regularly meet with boys who are suffering the same affliction. Especially considering the sort of people you associate with.”   
  
Taeyong felt panic rising in his chest. What was he talking about? Did he somehow know about his friendship with Woosung? He’d been careful not to talk about him by name around his grandmother.   
  
“Your grandmother told me about one of the boys on your basketball team,” he continued, and Taeyong was a little relieved it was only about that, “the captain of the team. I don’t think it’s wise, given your illness, to be answering to someone like that.”   
  
Taeyong couldn’t stop himself from speaking. “It’s not a problem, Father.” A bit too hasty, he knew, but he couldn’t let this get in the way of basketball.   
  
“Isn’t it?” Father Choi replied, looking curiously at Taeyong. “I know that he is choosing to proudly live in his blasphemous lifestyle, that he has turned to the side of the devil so openly and willingly. Does he know that you are similarly afflicted?”   
  
“No, Father,” Taeyong replied, his heart beating erratically, “I haven’t told anyone about this.”   
  
“That’s wise, child, we keep secrets like this between ourselves and God, that’s the safest thing for everyone, isn’t it?” Father Choi said, steely eyes settling on Taeyong.   
  
He concentrated on keeping his breathing even, not wanting to give any sign of distress. “I understand your concern, Father, but it’s never discussed on the team. Most of the team does not support his condition,” it felt like a slap in the face every time he referred to it that way, but he had no choice if he wanted to try and make his way out of this. “He’s simply the most skilled player on the team, so I believe the others have chosen to ignore that part of his life.”   
  
“I see,” Father Choi replied, his gaze scrutinizing, “while that is understandable, I don’t think it’s right for someone like that to be so applauded. Perhaps I ought to speak with your coach. I think he’s doing a poor job of selecting positive examples for your team.”   
  
The panic came back full force. This couldn’t happen, it couldn’t even be entertained as an idea! How was he supposed to get out of this?   
  
“Taeyong? Don’t you think that would be a good idea? We propose an ultimatum. Either he removes that boy from the team, or you remove yourself. I think being around him is only hampering your ability to recover from the devil’s grip.”   
  
_ No. Nonononono. _ He wasn’t quitting basketball over this! “Father, I don’t believe that’s necessary. I truly am doing much better, I promise.” He tried to speak confidently and calmly, tried to ignore the growing sense of dread in his stomach. He couldn’t allow him to speak to the coach.   
  
Father Choi was silent for a moment, thinking it over. “I’ll have to spend some time thinking about it. Maybe we’ll increase your sessions in order to combat the negative influence. But we’ll discuss that with your grandmother. Her input is valid as the one who watches over you on a daily basis.”   
  
Taeyong nodded, willing to do anything. “I understand and appreciate that you’re doing what you think is best for me, Father Choi. But this is working. I haven’t had any impure thoughts at all since we’ve started our sessions.” That much was true, at least. The fear of getting found out was too strong, knocking everything out of his brain, shutting his hormones down.   
  
“That’s good to hear. But the devil does not look for us when we are at our strongest, Taeyong. He waits until we are at our weakest. The thought of a homosexual being so close to you gives me cause for concern. But I will not act on it yet. I cannot condemn your weak spirit before giving it a chance to prove itself, can I?” Father Choi smiled at him, though it just made Taeyong’s stomach churn.   
  
“Thank you, Father.” The words were second nature to him now, coming out on their own without a real second thought. He had nothing to thank Father Choi for.   
  
“I will add you to our group therapy, though. I believe you will benefit from speaking with other boys like yourself, boys who are struggling. We’ve had many successful participants. I look forward to hearing you share your story with them.”   
  
Taeyong nodded, not looking forward to it at all. He couldn’t think of anything he wanted less. And there was always the fear of encountering someone he knew, because if that happened, what would stop this from getting out? He could only imagine the bullshit Hanbin would say to him if he found out that he was going through conversion therapy.   
  
No. He just had to agree to it and hope that no one he knew was in attendance. And if someone he knew  _ was _ part of the group, well. He’d have to find a way to enforce their silence. Whatever it took to keep his secret a secret.   
  


* * *

  
“Give me your honest opinion, okay? Like brutally honest.” Bobby stood and watched as Hanbin looked over his paper, scrutinizing his hand written lyrics. He’d spent days trying to write something good, and he’d spent so much time on the song he felt equally pleased and insecure about it. Maybe it was shit, but he’d spent so much time making it less shitty than it had been to begin with that he was blinded to how bad it still was.   
  
He needed fresh eyes. He could have gone to Jiho, but he’d wanted to ask Hanbin. Since Hanbin wouldn’t be there to watch him butcher it if things went wrong.   
  
“It’s not bad,” Hanbin said after his first read-through, “but I can’t figure out your flow. Can you rap it for me?”   
  
Bobby nodded, taking the paper back from him. He’d set it over a beat, but he didn’t even have the music on his phone. He was going to have to do it with voice-only.   
  
Hanbin listened with a critical ear, easily picking up on the flow Bobby had intended. Once he was finished Hanbin waved for the paper back, a few things in his head already.   
  
Bobby watched as his boyfriend immediately started writing things down on the paper, heart sinking. It really had been terrible, hadn’t it? Whatever, no big deal! No one ever liked their first draft of anything, did they? He started pacing, waiting for Hanbin to finish. Maybe the beat was wrong… Maybe he should change the instrumental?   
  
“Okay, I made some suggestions,” Hanbin said when he finished, looking up and grinning when he saw the way that Bobby was looking at him. “Stop panicking, it’s really not that bad, you don’t even have to use my suggestions, you know—”   
  
Bobby sat down next to him, grabbing the paper. “No but you’re smarter than I am, you probably have better ideas.”   
  
“Being smart doesn’t make you a good writer,” Hanbin replied, wrapping an arm around Bobby’s shoulders and leaning against him, “practice is what makes you a good writer.”   
  
“Your suggestions are really good, though!” Bobby replied with a slight whine, “like why didn’t I think about this one? It’s such clever word play.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and kissed his cheek. “Well, to be fair it’s like ten times easier to improve on something that already exists, than it is to make something that good from scratch. Plus you’ve had your head in it for how long, now? It’s hard to look at it with new ideas when it’s already set itself in your brain.”   
  
“True,” Bobby sighed, rapping through the changes in his head, grateful and a little annoyed at how much it improved the verse.   
  
“You’re gonna write a lot of shit before you start writing really great stuff,” Hanbin said, laughing when Bobby frowned at him.   
  
“So you do think it’s shit, then?”   
  
“No,” Hanbin replied, “it was a solid six out of ten before I changed anything. I brought it up to an eight.”   
  
“Nine,” Bobby replied, looking at the sheet again, “seriously, the more I look at it, the more clever your suggestions are. I feel like I struggle coming up with enough vocabulary, and here you are, writing in words I wouldn’t have even remembered.”   
  
“Well, I guess it’s only fitting, right?” Hanbin said, sitting back and leaning on his hands, “I am GZA, the genius, you said so yourself!”   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but grin because really, it was true. “Okay, so if you’re GZA, who does that make me?”   
  
Hanbin answered without hesitation. “You’re ODB for sure.”   
  
Bobby frowned at him, not expecting it. “You think so? I wanna be Method Man.”   
  
“No way, you’re ODB! Ol’ Dirty Bobby,” Hanbin laughed as soon as he said it, grinning when Bobby looked at him in shock.   
  
“Rude.” Bobby dove at him, knocking him on his back and scrambling up to lie on top of him. “I call you a genius and you say I’m a dirty old man.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and wrapped his arms around Bobby’s back. “You’re ancient.”   
  
“You’re the old man!” Bobby replied, “I mean yeah okay what you wrote was clever and good word play, but really, people our age don’t use those words! Old people do.”   
  
“Sorry to break it to you, but smart people use those words, regardless of age,” Hanbin shot back teasingly.   
  
Bobby frowned at him, though it was of course just for show. Now that the momentary insecurity about his attempts at writing lyrics had passed, he was grateful for Hanbin’s help. Because what he’d said earlier was true, after all. You didn’t get better at doing something just by being smart. You got better by continually doing it, over and over. He’d just started writing again, so of course it would take him a bit until he was feeling more confident in things he was writing. He just had to accept it and not be discouraged when someone else offered him input.   
  
He sank down against Hanbin then, kissing him a little aggressively before pulling back. “You should think about rapping too, maybe prepare something for the next mic night when you’re done with your tournament prep.” It would be fun, rapping with Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin pecked a quick kiss on his chin before replying. “I appreciate you saying that, but I won’t. I want rapping to be your thing. I have basketball and boxing, so I want you to have something of your own. I want to go to shows and just be your fan.”   
  
Bobby wasn’t expecting the answer, and he felt touched by the sentiment. “That’s really sweet, Bin.”   
  
Hanbin had actually considered getting involved in rapping as well, since it was something he had an active interest in. But he had too many things already, and he didn’t want to stress himself out. Plus he really did like the idea of being Bobby’s  _ fan. _ “We competed last year with basketball, I want a competition-free year for us this year.” He said teasingly, grinning when Bobby shook his head.   
  
“Oh yeah? You think you’d do better than me?” He asked, eyes narrowed jokingly.   
  
“After reading those lyrics of yours? Absolutely,” Hanbin teased again, before moving his hands up to cup the back of Bobby’s neck.   
  
“Give me time to practice a bit more, I’ll be writing better than you soon.” Bobby answered, and he was surprised to realize that he actually didn’t feel weird about their teasing conversation at all. He didn’t want to compete with Hanbin, and even if they did compete, it wouldn’t really matter to him who won.   
  
“If by soon you mean in ten years, than maybe,” Hanbin replied before pulling Bobby’s head down and kissing him.   
  
Bobby let the kiss go on for a while, content in the moment. It would be nice to work on his lyrics with Hanbin, to get his take on ideas. He could compete with other people. But having Hanbin’s input would make victory more likely.   
  
“So, is it cool if you critique my stuff, then? SInce you don’t want to actually get involved yourself?” Bobby asked, balancing his weight on one arm, his other hand cupping Hanbin’s cheek.   
  
Hanbin smiled at the question, happy that Bobby actually wanted his help and didn’t seem intimidated by it. “Yeah, I’d love to, if you want me to. I want you to sound as good as possible. You have some pretty tight competition already, after all. Can’t have you falling behind the other three.”   
  
“Good,” Bobby answered, “it’ll be nice to perform and see you there, my number one fan.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and reached up to lace his fingers with Bobby’s hand. “You better treat me good. You know how fickle fans can be when someone better comes along.” He teased, kissing the back of Bobby’s hand.   
  
“Listen here, no one better is coming along, okay?” Bobby said, “instead I’m the someone better coming along, so you’re the one who needs to watch out and treat me well. I’m going to be inundated with fans of my own soon, so I’ll have a bigger selection.”   
  
“Bigger selection, maybe, but no one as good as me.” Hanbin replied.   
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “True, but I might start going for quantity over quality, you know, up my street cred?”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh, and when Bobby got closer to kiss him again he pushed him away. “I’m not going to wait around for you, so pick wisely.”   
  
Bobby shifted until he was over Hanbin again, one hand pulling up his shirt and stroking over his stomach. “You say that now, but I know it’s a lie.”   
  
Hanbin shivered at the slightly tickling contact. “Actually the way I see it, aren’t you the one currently waiting for me?” He asked, grinning when Bobby shook his head.   
  
“For the moment, but times are changing!” Bobby replied, fingers trailing over Hanbin’s ribs. Hanbin was worth waiting around for, especially now that Bobby had found something he actually wanted to pursue. It would be different if he hadn’t discovered the possibility for music.   
  
Instead of teasing him again Hanbin surprised him by reaching up to cup his cheek. “I’m really happy you found something you’re passionate about,” he said with a fond smile, and he could see the love he felt for Bobby reflected to him in Bobby’s own eyes, “I know you don’t have anything else you really want to do, not the way I do, at least. I’m glad you figured it out, and even if I tease you about it, I’m proud of you for pursuing it.”   
  
Bobby felt touched by the comment again, and hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear it until Hanbin had said it just now. It was the sort of comment that chipped away at his lingering fears for their future together. “Thanks, babe.”   
  
“I noticed a change in you ever since you started talking about it,” Hanbin said, and it was something he’d often thought about bringing up, “you just seem more confident.”   
  
“Really?” Bobby asked, surprised to hear it.   
  
“Yeah, like when you brought it up around my parents, you seemed nervous about it until they said it was cool,” Hanbin grinned when he saw the way Bobby’s expression turned a little sheepish at the comment, “you were worried about their reaction, weren’t you?”   
  
Bobby knew he shouldn’t be surprised, just because he and Hanbin hadn’t really talked much about it, didn’t mean his boyfriend hadn’t been thinking about it. “I just worried that they wouldn’t think I was being serious enough, you know, about us.” He watched Hanbin’s expression, wanted to see his reaction to the conversation.   
  
“If my parents thought you weren’t being serious about your future, they’d judge me, not you,” Hanbin answered, “so I’m the only one you have to worry about impressing.”   
  
“Is that so? Well then, are you impressed?” Bobby asked, even though he already knew the answer. It was still a relief to admit it all like this and actually talk about it. To know that Hanbin was thinking about their future together, that he wasn’t just having a good time for now.   
  
“You always impress me,” Hanbin replied, “even when you don’t do anything. So yeah, I’m impressed. I’ll always be impressed.”   
  
“High standards for yourself, low standards for everyone else,” Bobby teased.   
  
Hanbin laughed at the comment. “You know, you’re actually not far off the mark. I do have high standards for myself. So consider yourself lucky that I love you so much.”   
  
Bobby  lowered himself down to lie next to Hanbin, tucking his head into his boyfriend’s chest and draping an arm over him. He was lucky, he knew that. But he was finally starting to feel like it wasn’t just luck that was keeping him around anymore. He  _ was _ good enough for Hanbin. Maybe all he’d needed to do to combat the insecurity was figure out a future that made sense for him. Hanbin could be the smart intellectual, and Bobby would make music. They’d keep each other balanced.


	12. Vibes and Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby's first performance. Hanbin and Taeyong have an unexpected moment of bonding.

> _"Competition's good, it brings out the vital parts  
> _   _The Abstract Poetic, majors in recital arts"_  
>                          "[Vibes and Stuff](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fkbgR2Fswk)" A Tribe Called Quest  
>   
> 

* * *

Bobby adjusted his snapback before stuffing his hands in his pockets, trying to fight off the nerves that were bubbling in the pit of his stomach. It felt different tonight, knowing that he wasn’t just here as a spectator. He was actually putting himself out there tonight, submitting himself to the whim of the crowd. Sure it wasn’t that big of a deal, it was just a basic open mic session where he wasn’t going to be only newbie. But it was the first time he’d be rapping for anyone other than Jiho or Hanbin, and he wanted to do well. He’d learned a lot from Jiho over the past few weeks, about composing and beat production. He was using one of Jiho’s beats tonight, because his own were nowhere near good enough yet. He didn’t want to feel like he’d been wasting Jiho’s time.   
  
Mostly he wanted to do well tonight because he was really enjoying the music, and once he’d started jotting down lyrics he was surprised at how often they came to his head. He had a notebook half full already, and while they weren’t all great, he was writing. His lyrics would get better over time, he wouldn’t always need to re-write songs five times in order to make them good. But even with good lyrics, just being able to write them didn’t mean he’d be able to deliver them with ease, didn’t mean the crowd would be into them.   
  
He went over the lines again in his head, stumbling over his wording. He knew it was just the nerves, that if he kept focusing on it he’d keep tripping himself up. Jiho had told him as much, had advised him to just mingle and engage in conversation with people, to not just stand in the corner and fret over his coming performance. It was hard advice to follow, though, especially without Hanbin here.   
  
But while he was lacking his boyfriend he did have his best friend, and Jinhwan came back from the bar with two beers, passing him one.   
  
“Are you friends here yet?” Jinhwan asked, curious to meet Bobby’s new rap friends.   
  
Bobby scanned the club, eyes looking for people he recognized. He finally saw him emerge from the hallway, feeling slightly relieved to see him. He grabbed Jinhwan’s arm and guided him over to where Jiho had taken a seat at the opposite end of the bar. Jiho saw him coming and nodded to him before ordering his own beer, turning to face him as he got closer.   
  
“Bobby! I was hoping you wouldn’t chicken out on me, it’s good to see you.” Jiho teased before taking a sip of his beer.   
  
Bobby grinned back at him, feeling better. “Nah I’m good, feeling excited.”   
  
“Nervous at all?” Jiho asked, and he smirked when Bobby shook his head and tried to act like he was fine. He could tell he was lying.   
  
“Hyung, I want to introduce you to my best friend, Jinhwan,” Bobby pulled on Jinhwan’s arm until he came in a little closer, “Jinan, this is Jiho hyung, the guy who’s been giving me a crash course in music.”   
  
Jiho greeted him with a friendly smile. “Nice to meet you, you’re the one who’s moving to LA soon, right?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Yeah, that’s me. Glad I’m here to see his embarrassing first attempt in person. I’d cry if I had to miss this.”   
  
Jiho laughed. “Ah, so you’re that kind of best friend! No friendly faces here for Bobby tonight.”   
  
Bobby shook his head and pushed Jinhwan away jokingly. “Fuck both of you.”   
  
“Fuck both of them? That sounds like my kind of party!”   
  
Bobby turned around to see Woosung, who’d just appeared behind him. He smiled in greeting, happy to see him. “Hey Woosung! How’s it going?”   
  
Woosung smiled back at him. “Good, hyung. Hanbin told me you were coming out tonight. I’m excited to see what you’ve got ready.” He was a little nervous to hear Bobby’s rap, torn between sympathizing with a newcomer, and hoping Bobby wasn’t that good. Not yet, at any rate. Not on his first night.   
  
“Yeah, I’ve been working with Jiho hyung, and he thinks I’m ready, so I figured I’d give it a shot.”   
  
“Well, don’t think about it too much, over focusing might make you forget your lines.” Woosung said. He’d messed up his own first performance, nerves jumbling his brain while he was in the middle of his song.   
  
“Yeah, I’ve been trying to relax and not overthink it. I actually got Hanbin’s help with some of my lines, so I don’t want to screw it up.” Bobby said, trying to make small talk to cover up those nerves.   
  
Woosung tried to contain the immediate little spark of jealousy. It was perfectly fine for Hanbin to help Bobby with his rap. “Oh yeah? That’s smart, he’s really clever with his rhymes, he’s got a real poetic vibe, using all those big words no one else really uses.” Woosung grinned at the memory. He missed writing with Hanbin.   
  
Bobby looked a little surprised. “Did you two rap together?”   
  
Woosung shook his head. “No, not really. Well sometimes we would, just jokingly, like before his boxing tournaments. But we used to write together. Our styles are really different so it was always interesting, seeing what we’d come up with.” He hoped Bobby wasn’t taking his foray down memory lane the wrong way, because he was trying to keep it as friendly as possible. He couldn’t afford to slip up and let himself sulk over missing Hanbin, especially not in front of his boyfriend. He didn’t want Bobby to think that he had some kind of negative effect on him. Just because he and Hanbin had started writing together first, just because it had been  _ their thing, _ it didn’t mean they owned the activity. Hanbin could write with whoever he wanted to, and Woosung wasn’t going to be upset about it.   
  
He just really hoped that Bobby wasn’t going to be that good yet, not on his first try. If he owned the stage tonight it just wouldn’t be fair. Then again, he had Jiho helping him. Woosung hadn’t had anyone when he’d first gone up. He’d made his friends after a few weeks of trying. He’d done it all himself.   
  
“Hey losers, how’s it going?” Jaewon inserted himself into the conversation, slinging an arm around Woosung’s shoulders. He’d just walked into the club and had spotted them, deciding to come over and see how Bobby was faring. “Bobby, nice to see you again, Jiho told me you were his new protege.”   
  
While being around Jiho and Woosung had lifted Bobby’s spirits a little, seeing Jaewon’s smirking face had his nerves coming back, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. “Yeah, hyung’s been a huge help to me. Not really expecting much tonight, you know, just wanna make it through the first time out without a problem.”   
  
Jaewon nodded, then looked around their group. “Where’s that cute little boyfriend of yours? Did he not come?”   
  
Bobby shook his head, trying to keep his expression from getting annoyed at the way that Jaewon spoke so casually about Hanbin. “He’s got a boxing tournament that he had to train for, so he couldn’t make it.”   
  
Jaewon looked surprised. “Hanbin boxes? With that pretty face of his? Risky business.” Jaewon said teasingly, before turning his attention to Woosung. “You’re not moping too much without Hanbin-ie here, are you?”   
  
Woosung’s expression dropped into one of annoyance and he shoved Jaewon away. “Fuck off, Jaewon.” He looked at Bobby then, hoping he looked casual and not at all like he was panicking. “Don’t pay him any attention, he’s just trying to be dramatic.”   
  
Jaewon grinned, casting his eyes between the pair of them. “What did I tell you about talking to me?”   
  
Woosung rolled his eyes and gave Jaewon an overly dramatic deep bow. “My apologies.  _ Please _ fuck off, Jaewon.”   
  
Jaewon grinned and put his arm back around Woosung’s shoulders. “Good enough, I guess. Anyway Bobby, who’s the cute guy next to you? Second boyfriend?” Jaewon gave Jinhwan a long once over, taking in his appearance and winking at him.   
  
It grated on Bobby’s nerves. “This is my best friend, Jinhwan.”   
  
Jinhwan winked back at Jaewon, unable to help but flirt back. Jaewon was gorgeous. “Nice to meet you.”   
  
“Nice indeed,” Jaewon answered, all smiles, “if Bobby flops on his performance make sure you stick around for mine. I’m worth the wait.” A disgusted huff next to Jaewon had him turning to side, grinning expression focused on Woosung.   
  
“Hyung, just so you know, Jinhwan has a boyfriend.” Woosung stated, annoyed with his flirting. He shouldn’t be, since Jaewon flirted with everyone, but he had to express his bubbling irritation and this was a safe topic.   
  
Jaewon frowned before looking back at Jinhwan. “Is your boyfriend here right now?” He asked Jinhwan, who grinned back at him and shook his head. Jaewon turned back to Woosung with a smug smile. “Well then, no harm in a little bout of innocent flirting, is there?”   
  
Woosung shook his head. “You’re honestly disgusting.”   
  
Jaewon patted his cheek. “Don’t be jealous, Woo, it makes you uglier than you already are. Jiho, I need you for a minute, come with me. I’ll see the rest of you in a bit.” Jaewon waved his goodbyes and winked at Jinhwan again before walking off with Jiho.   
  
Woosung watched him go with a shake of the head before turning to Bobby and Jinhwan. “What a scumbag. I’ll talk to you guys in a bit, I have some people I have to go and say hi to.” Woosung excused himself and made his way over to the corner, where they saw him greet a few people.   
  
“Interesting group dynamics,” Jinhwan finally said, grinning at Bobby.   
  
“Yeah, that’s an understatement,” Bobby replied, still slightly annoyed by Jaewon, but knowing it would pass. It was simply Jaewon’s default persona, as Jiho had explained to him. Jaewon enjoyed instigating shit with people, did it all the time. Apparently he said it inspired him for lyrics.   
  
“Okay, honest answer time,” Jinhwan said, turning to face Bobby, “do you think Woosung is still into Hanbin?” He wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea to bring the topic up, but he’d noticed Jaewon’s teasing and Woosung’s embarrassed reaction to it.   
  
“Nah, they’re just friends,” Bobby answered quickly, “he’s not into him anymore like that.”

  
Jinhwan was a little surprised at the sudden, confident disagreement. “Really? You don’t think he was a little embarrassed at Jaewon asking about him?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Well sure he was, but that doesn’t mean anything. He just doesn’t want to make things awkward between us, right? Doesn’t want me to think anything bad.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, but didn’t feel convinced. “Right. So why did Woosung even invite Hanbin out in the first place? Just to reconnect? Relive the good old times?” Jinhwan asked teasingly.   
  
Bobby wasn’t bothered by it, though. “Probably. I mean, Hanbin said they were really good friends even before they dated. And if they used to write together before Woosung started rapping, then he probably just misses that connection. It makes sense, right? It’ll be like when you move. I’m sure you’ll make new friends, but that doesn’t mean you won’t want to share things with me still, right?” Bobby hadn’t sensed anything malicious from Woosung, but then again he wasn’t really looking for it either. He didn’t want to get jealous over Hanbin reconnecting with an old boyfriend. Jealousy came from insecurity, and Bobby didn’t feel insecure around Woosung.   
  
Jinhwan still shook his head. “That’s different, we’ve never dated!”   
  
Bobby shrugged. “Still, it’s the same idea.”   
  
Jinhwan leaned against the bar, eyes on Woosung in the corner. “Well, regardless of his intentions, I still think he’s got a thing for Hanbin, so you should watch out.” He teasingly winked at Bobby, who couldn’t help but laugh about it.   
  
“What, you think Woosung is going to try and steal him back? Please, Jinan. I’m not trying to be mean, but I’m not intimidated by Woosung. He can’t stack up to me. Plus I know why they broke up, and it was awkward. There’s no going back to that. They’re lucky to be friends again.”   
  
Jinhwan’s face took on a contemplative look. “I wonder if Woosung knows that you know his relationship details?”   
  
“Don’t you go saying anything!” Bobby retorted, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I might never bring you out again.”   
  
Jinhwan smirked back at him. “I’ll come by myself then. You can’t stop me. I’ll jeer you when it’s your turn, every time.”   
  
“I’ll get you blacklisted,” Bobby replied with a grin, “Jaewon could probably do it for me, he seems to run this place.”   
  
“Yeah, speaking of Jeawon,” Jinhwan whistled lowly, “he’s gorgeous. Idol-level pretty, don’t you think?” Jinhwan was still slightly shaken over that introduction. It wasn’t often you came face to face with people with such stunning good looks. Jaewon was easily the prettiest guy that Jinhwan had ever spoken to.   
  
Bobby rolled his eyes. “You hoping to see him on Inkigayo one of these weeks?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him and took a sip of his beer. “I’d join his fan club in a heartbeat,” Jinhwan teased, “did you hear him flirting with me? What an ego boost.”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Don’t get me started. He’s gorgeous, I’ll give him that, but he’s got a bit of a trashy vibe, don’t you think? I asked Chanwoo about him, and he actually told me to be careful. Apparently his brother is used to getting what he wants, and he doesn’t always care whether or not what he wants is the right thing.”   
  
Jinhwan laughed at his comment. “Oh calm down, you’re forgetting I already have a super hot boyfriend. I’d take Junhow over Jaewon any day of the week.”   
  
“Why, because Junhoe does whatever you tell him to?” Bobby teased.   
  
“Absolutely, he’s smitten with me, you can’t throw that away.” Jinhwan replied jokingly.   
  
“I’m gonna tell him you said that,” Bobby threatened.   
  
“Go for it,” Jinhwan said, “he’ll get cutely grumpy for a few minutes but that’ll be it. Besides, he knows how much I love him, he won’t get bothered if I say I appreciate the good looks of another man.”   
  
“True, Hanbin and I had the same kind of conversation about Jaewon the other week, actually,” Bobby admitted, and Jinhwan laughed at him. Just then the saw Jaewon reappear at the bar, slipping in between two attractive women.   
  
Jinhwan watched him chatting the girls up, shaking his head. “Ah there he is, flirting again.”   
  
Bobby looked on in amusement. “Don’t be jealous, Jinan. I’m sure he’ll flirt with you again before the night is over.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “He can try, I don’t share though, so it’s a good thing I have Junhoe.”   
  
“Would you ever have a threesome?” Bobby asked suddenly, the idea springing into his head as he watched Jaewon flirting with both girls.   
  
Jinhwan nearly choked on his beer, not expecting the question. “Why, are you interested?” He replied teasingly.   
  
Bobby grinned at him. “With you two? No fucking way. I just mean in general, though. I don’t know if I could. I mean the idea’s kinda hot, but I don’t think I could handle seeing someone else touch Hanbin. Talking is one thing, but it would bother me.”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin, amused by the sudden question. “Yeah I can’t see a threesome ever working out for you, don’t need you to tell me that, I know you well enough. I think Hanbin would be down for it, though. He’s more open than you are.”   
  
Bobby glared at him, even though he was sure Jinhwan was right. “Don’t go getting any ideas.”   
  
Jinhwan leaned into his side. “Would you be mad if I invited Hanbin to join me and Junhoe?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Hanbin has better taste than that.”   
  
“Not if he’s dating you, he doesn’t!” Jinhwan replied, throwing an arm around Bobby’s shoulders. “But if you don’t like that option, you could always invite Woosung to join the two of you. Make his whole year.”   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but laugh, the idea absurd. “That would be so awkward, why would you even suggest that?”   
  
“You’re the one who brought it up to begin with!” Jinhwan replied.   
  
“I meant in general, we didn’t have to get into specifics. And you never answered my question about whether or not you would.”   
  
Jinhwan took a sip of his beer, debating the question in his mind. Would he ever want a threesome? Some part of him wanted to say yes, wanted to experience having another person. But he knew he was really more in line with Bobby’s way of thinking. He wouldn’t mind himself being with two people at once, but the idea of someone else touching Junhoe would have him ready to throw fists. “No. At least not with Junhoe involved.”   
  
Bobby tried to hide his grin, but it still came out. “You really love him, don’t you?” He knew the answer to the question, had seen the answer in Jinhwan’s behaviour ever since he’d started dating Junhoe. It was still weird sometimes, though, to think that both he and Jinhwan had managed to find their ideal partners at the same time.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. Bobby understood his feelings. Their conversation was interrupted by Jiho, who came over to whisk Bobby away, to tell him it was time to prepare for his performance. Jinhwan gave him a hug before he went off, told him to do well or he’d throw his boot at him. He’d worn the Doc Martens just for the occasion.   
  


* * *

  
“So, what do you think? I know I kind of slurred some of my words together, I was so damn nervous.” Bobby rambled, nervous to hear Hanbin’s opinion. Jinhwan had recorded the performance for him and sent it to Hanbin, who’d just finished watching it. Jinhwan had said that he’d thought it was great, while Jiho had said it was good for his first time, and that they’d work on a few things the next time they got together. Woosung had told him he’d done good, teasing that he’d exceeded his expectations. Jaewon had said he was decent but needed practice. And the crowd had seemed like they enjoyed it well enough, a few guys had told him he’d done well for his first shot, that they hoped he’d be back out again.   
  
So he was feeling half good about it, and half bad. He hadn’t expected to be perfect his first time up, but secretly he’d hoped he would be. And while he hadn’t forgotten any of his lyrics, he had screwed up his flow twice, getting lazy on the beat. So he could have done better, but he also could have done much worse.   
  
“I think it was a solid first performance,” Hanbin replied over the phone, “you have some work to do, but you were nervous, so it’s no surprise.”   
  
“Yeah, I know. Still, though, wish I hadn’t lost the beat like that. Feel kinda stupid, especially using Jiho’s beat. I don’t want to make him sound bad.”   
  
“Don’t worry, the beat sounded great. You were the one that was off,” Hanbin teased, shooting him a smug grin.   
  
Bobby laughed at him, and felt a little better for hearing his honest opinion. He didn’t want Hanbin to talk him up just because they were dating. He wanted honesty. “So supportive, thanks,” he replied, but it was tinged with laughter.   
  
“Anytime. I can’t have you sounding like garbage, I need to be dating someone who’s got his shit together. Especially if I’m going to come out and watch next time.” Hanbin shot back, laughing when Bobby pouted at him.   
  
“Thanks for putting the extra pressure on me,” Bobby sulkingly replied, “maybe you shouldn’t come.”   
  
“You have one more week to practice, since I have that last boxing session this coming week,” Hanbin replied, “you better do a good job, don’t want to be responsible for me losing my concentration in the tournament, do you?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Wow, really not cutting me any slack, are you?” He tried to keep the hurt look on his face but he couldn’t, and eventually they both succumbed to giggles.   
  
“Hey, hyung?” Hanbin called a moment later, and waited for Bobby to quiet down and look at him, smiling softly at him through the screen, “I’m proud of you for doing it. I’m sad I wasn’t there to watch, but I’m happy you did it. And you did do well for your first time, so don’t feel bad about any of it.”   
  
Bobby smiled back at him, actually feeling better to hear Hanbin say that he was proud. “Thanks, Bin.”   
  
“I should go, need to sleep, but,” Hanbin paused, blowing him a kiss, “I love you. Get a good sleep.”   
  
Bobby broke out in a huge smile, feeling stupidly giddy. Maybe it was just the compounded nerves finally escaping him after being cooped up all day. “I love you too, Bin. See you tomorrow?” Hanbin nodded and they both blew each other kisses again before hanging up.   
  
It was weird, how much he’d changed just by being with Hanbin. A year ago he’d have felt uncomfortable with this kind of video call, he’d have blanched in terror if a guy had ever said that he loved him. Now he felt like he was missing something if he didn’t hear Hanbin say it, or if he didn’t say it himself.   
  
So it made this whole thing okay, about trying his hand at rapping. Even if he face-planted and did horribly, Hanbin would still love him, and at the end of the day that was the most important thing. He could work on his rapping with Jiho, he’d take all his advice and learn all his tricks. But good or bad performance, Hanbin would be there for it. That was the important thing.  
  


* * *

  
The rough draft of his history essay out of the way, Taeyong looked for his chemistry book next. He had a set of questions due on Monday that he’d left time to do today. But his book wasn’t in his bag. He searched around his room, even though he knew it was useless. He always kept his books in his bag for precisely this reason. He must have left it in his locker, since he didn’t have chemistry on Fridays. He’d grabbed his biology book instead of chemistry.   
  
Fuck. What was he supposed to do now? If Woosung took chemistry with him, he’d call him. But the only person he really knew in chemistry class was the last person he wanted to ask for help. But he was also the only option. Taeyong wasn’t going to let his bad blood with Hanbin get in the way of good grades.   
  
He picked up his phone and typed a hasty text message to Hanbin, feeling grateful about having his number due to basketball for the first time. He painfully wrote it and hit send, annoyed with himself for forgetting. Hanbin’s response was fast, at least.   
  
_ H: yeah i got it, but im doing my hw too right now _ _   
_ _ H: you wanna come over and we can do it together? _ _   
_ _ T: when are you gonna be done _ _   
_ _ H: not for a while, i literally just started _ _   
_ _ H: just come over, its not a big deal _ _   
_ _ T: can we meet up somewhere instead _ _   
_ _ T: like library or something? _ _   
_ _ H: fine meet me at starfield, k? _ _   
_ _ T: k _   
  
Well, that hadn’t been as painful as he’d anticipated, and he’d given in pretty easily. Taeyong wasn’t going to Hanbin’s home, no fucking way.   
  
He packed his stuff up and left his room, meeting his grandmother in the kitchen.   
  
“I have to go out, okay? I’m meeting my chemistry partner at the library to work on an assignment.” He hoped she wouldn’t object, but at least the excuse was legitimate.   
  
She eyed him warily, like she was deciding whether or not to give him the benefit of the doubt. “When will you be back? I want to see your work when you return.”   
  
“Of course, grandma, I’m not lying to you. I don’t know how long I’ll be though, maybe a few hours?” He waited with held breath for her response. He was going regardless of her answer, but he didn’t want her to be mad.   
  
Finally she nodded. “Okay. Call me if you’ll be out past six. Be a good boy, Taeyong-ah.”   
  
He grit his teeth and bowed to her before leaving, shouldering his bag and heading for the elevator. Ever since their talk with Father Choi concerning the topic of his being allowed to play basketball with a gay player, she’d adopted the exceptionally awkward habit of warning him to  _ be a good boy _ any time he left her sight. He knew she was concerned for him, but it just reinforced the idea that there was something uncontrollably  _ wrong _ about him.   
  
He’d been relatively okay at first, dealing with the whole thing. But it was starting to wear on him, the constant verbal reminders that he was  _ sick. _ He didn’t feel sick, didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with him. He was just attracted to the wrong gender, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault except his parents, because it was in their genetic code somewhere.   
  
But that sort of talk was frowned upon with his grandmother, and with the church. He just had to pretend like he agreed with them, had to pretend like it was all working on him,  _ curing him. _ In reality it wasn’t doing a damn thing except making him miserable.   
  
But he couldn’t afford to be thinking about that now. Not when he was going out to meet the source of his newest problem. It was a quick walk to the library, which was newly opened and in a mall. He pulled his phone out to text Hanbin, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.   
  
“Hey, good timing, just got here too. Let’s go find somewhere to sit.” Hanbin smiled at him before leading the way, and Taeyong followed, annoyed that he had to resort to this, but grateful that Hanbin had agreed. This never would have been possible if Hanbin was still intent on continuing the rivalry.   
  
They found a table and chairs quickly and sat down. Hanbin set the textbook on the table between them, and they both took out their notebooks, quietly getting to work.   
  
It wasn’t nearly as awkward as Taeyong had worried it would be. They started together and seemed to be working mostly at the same pace, when one finished it wasn’t a long wait for the other to catch up. It made him think about his conversation with Daehee again. He absolutely hated to admit it, but he and Hanbin really were two well matched people. They even gelled when it came to homework.   
  
Thankfully the work distracted him enough so he wasn’t thinking about it too much, but small moments still crept in here and there. It took them just under two hours to finish, and Taeyong was grateful as he packed up his things. They’d just sat and done the work, Hanbin hadn’t tried any bullshit attempts at talking. It was a quick in, and it would be a quick out.   
  
“Hey, thanks for meeting me. Saved my ass.” Taeyong figured that a simple thank you was due, even though it still felt weird to be grateful to Hanbin for anything. This was someone he’d spent the last year obsessively being bitter over.   
  
“No problem, glad I could help!” Hanbin replied, and he tried to keep it as casual as possible. He’d wanted to strike up a conversation multiple times, but he knew it would just bother Taeyong. But he felt like this was a gateway towards something, the fact that Taeyong had willingly come to him for help. He didn’t want the moment to end so quickly. “I’m starving, haven’t eaten in a while.”   
  
Taeyong stared at him in silence for a moment before nodding. “Good luck with that.” He really hoped Hanbin wasn’t about to ask him to grab food, he really hoped that wasn’t what was about to happen. The homework had been one thing, but the last thing he wanted to do was spend time around Hanbin in a more casual setting where they’d have to talk to each other.   
  
“I was actually going to ask if you wanted to grab a bite to eat.” Hanbin was starving, barely eating at lunch earlier because he’d been caught up in his history essay. He figured Taeyong would decline, but he wanted to ask anyway in case he’d be surprised.   
  
Taeyong bristled at the invitation, surprised and annoyed Hanbin had asked. But just as he was about to turn it down his stomach had decided to speak for him, rumbling loudly. He just stood and locked eyes with Hanbin, betrayed by his own body. He could always say he had to go home and eat with his grandmother, but he wasn’t in the mood to go home, and he really didn’t want to eat her food anyway.   
  
“Come on, you’re obviously hungry. I’ll pay.” Hanbin hadn’t meant to beg, but the fact that Taeyong hadn’t just run off right away was giving him hope. Was this the gateway to less hostility that he’d been hoping for?   
  
Taeyong frowned and hated himself for considering it. But Daehee’s bizarre questions that day had really affected his brain in the worst way possible. What if he did just stop being Hanbin’s rival? He didn’t want to be his friend, for sure, but they could be casual acquaintances, right? That wouldn’t hurt? Of course he’d have to make sure his grandmother never found out, but at least he could always blame it on basketball.   
  
“Whatever you want, come on, let’s eat together.” Hanbin thought he could see signs of Taeyong giving up in his eyes, they looked like they were holding none of their usual aggression.   
  
“Only as long as you pay.” Fine. If he was actually going to follow through with this stupid plan, at least Hanbin was going to pay for it.   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but smile as soon as he agreed, though he tried to keep it dialed down. “Cool, where do you want to go? What do you want?”   
  
Taeyong contemplated the idea, wondering if he should make Hanbin buy him something expensive just to see if he would. But then he didn’t want to let Hanbin hold that over his head. Besides, he was in the mood for soup. “Are you okay with ramen?”   
  
Hanbin smiled back at his answer. “Yeah, I love ramen! Let’s go.” They left their table and walked into the mall, heading for the ramen restaurant. Taeyong couldn’t help but feel weird, going for dinner with Hanbin. It felt unnatural, but surprisingly it also felt kind of good at the same time. It was exhausting, after all, disliking someone with such fervour.   
  
They were seated quickly and both ended up ordering the same thing: tonkotsu ramen.   
  
“So, do you have any siblings?” Hanbin asked, because he was genuinely curious. He’d always pegged Taeyong as an only child, but he must have siblings if his parents were so quick to kick him out.   
  
“I have a sister, she’s 7 years older than me.” He didn’t want to talk about his family with Hanbin, but he figured answering the question was safe enough.   
  
“Do you see her often?”   
  
“No, she moved out six years ago to go to university in France. She rarely ever comes home, so I don’t see her often.” He was still slightly bitter about his sister leaving, but he understood her reasons. It was to get away from their father, who’d never been kind to her either.  She’d gone to study fashion, and had remained there after graduating. They talked occasionally over SNS, and she always told him to come visit her.   
  
“Oh, that sucks,” Hanbin replied in sympathy, “I have a younger sister, she’s only five.”   
  
That surprised Taeyong. “That’s a huge age gap.”   
  
Hanbin smiled back at him. “Yeah, sometimes I feel like more of a dad than a brother. She’s adorable though, I love her more than anyone.” He took his phone out and pulled up a picture of her to show him. “That’s her, Hanbyul.”   
  
Taeyong wasn’t sure how to feel, looking at a picture of Hanbin’s baby sister. It felt way too personal, like they were sharing way too much even though it was only a photo. “She looks like you.”   
  
“Yeah, we both have our mom’s face.”   
  
“Your eyes are identical.” It was weird, seeing so much of him in his sister. He looked between Hanbin and the phone, momentarily stuck on their eyes. He’d always thought his own eyes were his best feature, and when he looked at Hanbin, he couldn’t help but feel the same. It was eery, how many thing they seemed to have in common.   
  
“Yeah, I feel like that when I look at her sometimes, it’s like a mirror. It was weird when she was born, since I was alone for thirteen years. But she makes me so happy, you know if I’m having a rough day I’ll go and play with her, and she just makes me smile right away. It’s like playing with a little puppy, actually. She just follows me around and always wants to do whatever I’m doing.”   
  
Taeyong was surprised to hear him talk like that about her, it conflicted with the image he’d had of Hanbin for so long. Someone who doted so openly on their sibling couldn’t be that bad of a person.   
  
“That sounds really nice, actually. You’re lucky your parents had her.”   
  
“Yeah, people always ask why there was such a big gap. Truth is that I was actually the accidental baby, they were young when they had me and hadn’t meant to have a kid yet. They said they decided to have another one when I started getting too independent as a teenager. My mom wanted another baby to spoil, and my dad thought it would be good for me to have a younger sibling. They were right though. I always had a really good relationship with my parents, but everything just got better after she was born. I’m lucky to have my whole family.”   
  
Taeyong couldn’t help but feel intense jealousy as he listened. He’d never felt good about his family, only misplaced adoration for a man who’d never treated him well. His mother had been marginally better, but not by much. But where before it had made him hate Hanbin even more, now it actually softened him a little, just to hear him talk. Many kids with good families never seemed to appreciate them, but Hanbin was so open in his affection for his sister and his parents that it made Taeyong desperate for the same.   
  
Hanbin put his phone away and looked at Taeyong, wishing he could read his mind. It seemed like Taeyong wasn’t irritated or angry in the slightest, it seemed like he was calm and possibly even in somewhat of a good mood. He smiled to himself as he wound up some noodles on his chopsticks, happy he’d asked Taeyong to eat with him.   
  
Slowly, but surely, he was winning him over. 


	13. Most Of All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin and Donghyuk have a boxing tournament and everyone shows up. Even Woosung and Taeyong. 
> 
> (There's no actual boxing in the chapter, sorry, just everyone hanging out!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Kinda got sucked into other things. ♥

> _I  love the sound of the rain, fallin’ down on the roof in the month of May  
> I love to feel the sun, after the rain, on my face  
> But most of all,  
> Yeah most of all,  
> I love you  
> _                   [Most Of All](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB_rtTDRU-8) Aselin Debison

* * *

Saturday morning found Taeyong having an internal crisis for the dumbest of reasons. He was currently in his bedroom, staring between a hoodie and a zippered track jacket, trying to decide which one to wear. The hoodie was more comfortable and could offer better protection and privacy if he put the hood up. But he was going to be sitting in a gym all day, and he might get warm, and if he wore the jacket he could unzip it, at least. Because he might get cold if he took either of them off all the way. Some gyms aren’t drafty while some are iceboxes. You never know until you get there.   
  
It was just that the hoodie complimented the rest of his look better, provided a good way to pull his jeans and hair in together. Not that it should matter! It’s not like he was going out with the intention of impressing anyone. Well, he wanted to look good, just to reinforce that he’s attractive. Like a pride thing. But not too good.   
  
On that note—hoodie it was. He pulled it on over his head just as his phone beeped. Again.   
  
“I’m coming down now!” He answered the call, stopping to give his grandmother a kiss on the cheek before heading out the door of the apartment. He took the elevator down four floors, where he finally met Woosung, who was waiting outside the main doors to his building.   
  
“Dude, we were supposed to leave ten minutes ago,” Woosung levelled a playful glare at him, amused because Taeyong actually seemed flustered.   
  
“Sorry, I just like, spilled something on my clothes. I had to change.” Oh why was he lying? It sounded suspicious.   
  
“Right, sure you did.” Woosung wasn’t going to ask why he’d taken long, because he was trying to foster a sense of trust. He didn’t want to seem like he was just trying to get information out of him. He especially didn’t want to put Taeyong in a bad mood, because somehow he’d actually agreed to come with him to check out Hanbin’s boxing tournament. Woosung knew it probably had more to do with having no other plans (or friends to make plans with) than anything else, but that was fine. He was happy to help bridge the gap between them.   
  
He also knew that Hanbin had somehow managed to get Taeyong to agree to have dinner with him a week ago (or rather,  _ just a meal, nothing serious, _ as Taeyong had panickingly referred to it when he’d asked him) and he was hoping that maybe Taeyong was finally ready to move past their rivalry. Woosung just wanted the whole thing to be over with, wanted to feel like he’d helped them out in some small way.   
  
They talked about sports on the way there, discussing the results of the NBA game they’d both streamed on-line the night before. It was an easy conversation, and Woosung felt good about the day’s prospects when they finally got to the venue. He led the way inside, but as soon as they entered the building it was like Taeyong’s defense mechanism had kicked back on.   
  
“I can’t believe I let you bring me to this,” Taeyong complained, scowling as he followed Woosung inside. It was his own fault, of course, he knew that, it’s not like Woosung had twisted his arm.   
  
“Hey, if you’re lucky, you might get to watch Hanbin getting knocked out,” Woosung teasingly replied.   
  
“Yeah, that’s the only thing I’m holding on to today,” Taeyong answered. He wasn’t really sure why he’d agreed to come. Partly because Woosung was still his only friend in this end of the city, and partly because he’d needed an excuse to avoid going to some church event with Daehee. And maybe partly because he was just curious, too. He hadn’t known that Hanbin had been into boxing, not until the previous weekend when they’d gone for ramen together after studying. It had been an unexpected thing to learn, and he was curious to see what kind of fighter he ended up being.   
  
“Well, usually he doesn’t lose, so don’t get those hopes up too high,” Woosung said, “you’ll probably have to watch him win.” They entered the gym and immediately Woosung saw Hanbin’s family across the floor. He hadn’t seen Hanbin’s parents since they’d broken up, and he kind of missed them. Okay, not kind of. He definitely missed them. He wondered if Taeyong would object if he went over to say hi?   
  
“Hey, so, don’t be pissed with me, but I kinda want to go say hi to Hanbin’s family. You can go sit if you want, I won’t be long.”   
  
To his surprise, Taeyong seemed intent on following him. “I’ll come with you.”   
  
Woosung looked at him in confusion. “Really? You sure?”   
  
Taeyong shrugged it off, wishing he hadn’t agreed. “Yeah, I mean he talked about them last weekend, so I guess I’m a little curious.” He hoped Woosung wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, because it totally wasn’t a big deal. Just simple curiosity. Nothing more, nothing less. He followed Woosung across the gym, picking them out immediately by Hanbin’s little sister. Hanbin’s parents noticed Woosung as they got close and Taeyong watched their faces, curious if they were really going to be welcoming. This was their son’s ex boyfriend. What was he expecting by saying hi?   
  
Hanbin’s mother stood up as they approached, bright smile directed at Woosung. “Well now, here’s a face I haven’t seen in a long time!” Taeyong watched in surprise as she gave Woosung a hug. “Hanbin said you might be coming today, it’s nice to see you again.”   
  
Woosung smiled back at her, because the hug meant more to him than he wanted to admit. “Thanks, Mrs. Kim! You’re still looking as beautiful as ever!”   
  
She shook her head at him but smiled anyway. “Still giving out unnecessary flattery.”   
  
“It’s true!” Woosung replied, looking at Hanbin’s dad. “Mr. Kim, you’re a lucky man.”   
  
“How come you always compliment my wife when you see her, but you never compliment me?” He shook his head at the greeting, grinning when his wife laughed at him.   
  
“Don’t be jealous! I might not have married you for your looks, but you’re beautiful to me anyway.” She teased him, before looking down at her daughter. “Do you remember who this is?”   
  
Hanbyul looked from her mother to Woosung and back again. She tugged on her mother’s arm until she leaned down close enough for Hanbyul to try and whisper. They all heard her question. “Does Bobby oppa know he’s here?”   
  
They all tried not to laugh, but Taeyong was stunned at the little girl’s question. She was so young. Did she already know who Woosung and Bobby were to her brother?   
  
Woosung crouched down and smiled at her. “Of course he knows I’m here, Byul-ie! Your brother invited me.”   
  
Hanbyul looked confused for a moment, before accepting his answer. “Okay.”   
  
Woosung grinned at her. “Don’t I get a hug? It’s been a long time!”   
  
She smiled shyly at him before creeping forward to quickly hug him, darting back to her father’s lap afterwards. Woosung couldn’t stop smiling, amazed at how much bigger she’d gotten in a year.   
  
“So, how’ve you been? How’s your last year going?” Mrs. Kim asked.   
  
“It’s going good, I mean, good for school. I started rapping a few months ago. You know, going to some open mic nights. I’ve gotten pretty good, I actually have a bit of a following now.” Woosung had missed Hanbin’s parents a lot after the breakup, almost more than he’d missed Hanbin. It was hard to talk to his own parents, not just because of their treatment of his sexual preferences (they tried to be supportive, but he knew they wished he was straight) but also because they never seemed to take much interest in things that he enjoyed. But Hanbin’s parents had always spoken to him and made him feel like his opinion mattered, like he wasn’t just some dumb teenager who didn’t know anything.   
  
She nodded back at him. “Hanbin mentioned that, I’m really happy it’s going well for you.”   
  
“Where are you performing?” Hanbin’s dad asked.   
  
“Right now it’s weekly, a club in Itaewon called Harlem.” Woosung replied, elated they were asking.   
  
“Well, I don’t want to make it sound uncool, but we’ve been there a few times for some shows. It’s a nice little venue, very intimate, the sound’s great.”   
  
Woosung grinned back at him. “It’s okay Mr. Kim, you might be an old guy, but I promise you’re a cool old guy.” Mrs. Kim laughed and Mr. Kim frowned and shook his head.   
  
“Thanks, I think,” he replied, breaking into a grin.   
  
His wife leaned forward and pecked a kiss to his cheek. “You old man.”   
  
“Are you shit talking my dad again?”   
  
Woosung spun around, grinning at Hanbin’s sudden arrival before turning back to face his father. “I’ve never shit talked you Mr. Kim, your son’s a liar.”   
  
“Oh don’t worry, I am well aware of that.” Mr. Kim looked at Hanbin, shaking his head in mock disappointment.   
  
Hanbin grinned at his father. “I resent this conversation.”   
  
“Hey, don’t forget that I knocked you out once. Don’t make me do it again.” He teased, grinning at his son.   
  
Hanbin looked at him in mock outrage. “I can’t believe you brag about that!”   
  
“Are you kidding? I’m an icon in the cool dad community.”   
  
Taeyong watched them in utter confusion. He’d never seen anyone joke around so casually with their parents before. He’d have been disowned even sooner if he’d ever spoken so flippantly to his father. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. It almost felt like he wasn’t even talking to his parents. Their relationship seemed to verge more on a weird sort of friendship. Which was such an alien concept to him. None of his friends were  _ friendly _ with their parents. He looked at Hanbin’s mother then, noticing that she was staring at him. Oh god, this was it, wasn’t it?   
  
“Woosung, you haven’t introduced us to your friend,” she called out, smiling between them.   
  
Woosung looked a little flustered, reaching back and grabbing Taeyong’s arm and pulling him forward. “Right, sorry! Didn’t mean to be rude.”   
  
“New boyfriend?” Hanbin’s father asked, and Taeyong’s face went beet red and he looked at the floor, grateful when Woosung immediately answered.   
  
“No, nothing like that. We’re just friends.”   
  
“You look familiar,” Hanbin’s mom replied, “I feel like I’ve seen you before.”   
  
Hanbin’s dad suddenly turned to her. “The basketball rival!” He looked back at them. “Taeyong, wasn’t it? Hanbin said you’d switched schools this year.”   
  
Taeyong nodded, surprised they recognized him. They had to hate him though, given how much Hanbin had hated him. He’d injured him two seasons ago, after all. Even if Hanbin had changed his tune, parents never did. They were probably just being polite to his face.   
  
But if they were, well, Hanbin’s mother was really good at faking politeness.   
  
“I look forward to seeing the two of you on the court together this year, you’re both so talented. I’m sure you’ll set a ton of new records together.” She smiled at him, amused at his deer-in-the-headlights expression.   
  
Taeyong just stared back at her, confused and uncertain about what he was supposed to say in return. Maybe she didn’t actually remember who he was?   
  
“Don’t mind Taeyong,” Woosung cut in, “he’s all quiet because he probably wasn’t expecting you to be so nice to him.”   
  
Taeyoung could have murdered him. Instead he turned back to Hanbin’s parents and bowed awkwardly. It was even more awkward with Hanbin there. “I’m sorry for appearing rude. I really hadn’t expected you to recognize me.”   
  
Mrs. Kim waved it off again. “Don’t be like that, meeting family is always awkward at first, even more so when it’s an old rivalry. But you’re on our team now, Taeyong, so you’re a friend.”   
  
They were interrupted by Hanbyul’s sudden reaction, standing up and smiling widely. “Bobby oppa!” She ran towards him, laughing when he leaned down to pick her up. Taeyong watched it with a nervous feeling. He glanced back at Hanbin’s mom, who was smiling warmly at the sight of them together. Was she faking it again?   
  
But Bobby walked right up to Hanbin and kissed him on the cheek, right there in front of Hanbin’s parents, Hanbyul still in his arms. Taeyong couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Bobby had kissed their son right in front of them, in front of everyone, and Hanbin’s parents…   
  
Had done nothing. There was no reaction aside from greeting him themselves. There was no angry look, no cold shoulder, nothing. They greeted Bobby with as much affection as they’d spoken to Hanbin. Like Bobby was one of their own. They didn’t care that their young daughter was clinging to him, their son’s boyfriend.   
  
Taeyong had never experienced something like that before, had never witnessed parents who were so openly supportive of their son’s gay relationship. It was something he knew he would never have. His parents wouldn’t even be that supportive if he brought a girl home. Nothing would ever be good enough for them. He’d always be struggling to make them happy.   
  
It wasn’t fair that Hanbin had all of this. He had everything, every avenue of support he could possibly think of. It pissed Taeyong off. Not just his family, but he watched as Bobby greeted Woosung like they were old friends. He didn’t care that his boyfriend’s ex boyfriend was here, interacting with Hanbin’s family. None of this was normal.   
  
A few more guys showed up just then, and Taeyong recognized two of them from school. There was Donghyuk, who was also in boxing gear, who was holding the hand of some guy next to him. Junhoe, Hanbin’s best friend, was also standing with his arm around some guy that had to be his boyfriend. They were all so open and brazen about it, and Taeyong had never been in the same vicinity as so many gay guys at once. It actually made him feel awkward.   
  
Was everyone staring at them? Judging them? Tracking who they were to attack them in the halls later?   
  
He looked around quickly, eyes darting around the room. He wanted to distance himself from the group before anyone thought he was a part of it. Well, he  _ was, _ but no one knew that yet. He didn’t want anyone to find out.   
  
Woosung looked at Taeyong after making his greetings, noticing how uncomfortable he seemed. He’d known there was no way Taeyong would want to hang out with them, but he’d still been holding to a tiny bit of hope. Oh well. Best not to push it. “Listen, it was good to see you guys again, Taeyong and I are going to go and grab some seats, but we’ll see you later, okay?” Woosung waved his goodbyes, and calmly led Taeyong away, over to a slightly more deserted area of the stands.   
  
“You okay? That was a little much, wasn’t it?” Woosung asked as they sat down in the upper corner.   
  
Taeyong couldn’t take his eyes off the group. Bobby was sitting down next to Hanbin’s dad, Hanbyul sitting on his lap and Hanbin sitting in front of him, leaning back against him. So obvious and unapologetic. At a boxing tournament. Was he crazy?   
  
“His parents really don’t care, do they?” Taeyong asked, and he didn’t bother clarifying because Woosung would know what he meant.   
  
“Not one bit. When I was dating Hanbin they were just like that with me. His parents are super inviting, I was always really jealous of him because of that. I’d have killed for my parents to be even half as supportive as his parents are.”   
  
“And his little sister knows. They actually told a little kid.” That part blew Taeyong’s mind the most. A five year old knew that her brother was gay. She knew that he had a boyfriend, and from what he’d seen she clearly adored Bobby.   
  
Woosung sighed and watched them too, fighting off the longing to go and belong to that particular group again. “Yeah, they taught her early on that being gay is just another way of life, that it’s normal. My parents were never like that, they still have a problem with it. Nothing like your dad, they’d never kick me out, and they try to be supportive. But I know they’d do anything to make me straight. They hated it when I brought Hanbin around, they weren’t mean, but they barely acknowledged him no matter how nice he was to them.” That was why Woosung had spent more time at Hanbin’s than Hanbin had ever spent at his place.   
  
“My dad would have thrown me out into the street with nothing if he’d caught me at home with a guy,” Taeyong said, “and his just sit there and happily watch him and Bobby. Like, it makes his mom smile.” The more he watched, the angrier it made him. Why did Hanbin get everything, while he’d gotten disowned by his parents, forced into therapy? Why couldn’t he have support too?   
  
“Makes you hate him, doesn’t it?” Woosung said, looking at Taeyong out of the corner of his eye. “I was so jealous of him when we dated, about everything. Everything I could ever want, he had. I always felt so overshadowed by him, like I wasn’t good enough for him. It’s part of the reason why we broke up.” Woosung wasn’t sure why he was admitting it now, wasn’t sure how Taeyong would take it. He’d never really talked about it with anyone, about his actual feelings.   
  
Taeyong looked back at Woosung, curious about the comment. “Well, his parents seemed really happy to see you.”   
  
“Yeah, well, they’re really nice. They go out of their way to make everyone feel welcome.”   
  
Taeyong looked back at them. “I thought for sure they’d hate me when they realized who I was. I’m still not sure they actually remember me.”   
  
Woosung grinned, and he understood exactly what Taeyong meant. “When you trashed Hanbin’s ankle.”   
  
Taeyong nodded. “Yeah, that accident. I thought for sure they’d give me the cold shoulder or something. I injured their son, isn’t that grounds for being hated by the parents for life?”   
  
“Not Hanbin’s parents,” Woosung replied, “their idea of being protective is probably making sure he has condoms before he goes out with Bobby.”   
  
Taeyong blushed at the comment, still awkward in talking about sex. But he was also a little curious. “Did you and Hanbin ever…” He couldn’t say it, but Woosung knew.   
  
“No, honestly he was kind of a prude when we were dating. Which didn’t help me to feel like I was good enough. Don’t tell him I said that, by the way.”   
  
“I can’t see how it would possibly come up in conversation,” Taeyong replied, shaking his head. He couldn’t stop watching Hanbin’s family, and his friends. Because Hanbin’s parents seemed to be quite doting on all of them, even his sister seemed to like them all. Watching it made him angry, and it made him jealous, but it also made him inexplicably hopeful.   
  
Maybe, one day, he might work up the nerve to sit down there too.   
  


* * *

  
“Since you’re a rapper now, I think you should freestyle something for Hanbin before his match,” Jinhwan teased, nudging Bobby.   
  
“Ah shut up, I’m not good enough for that yet,” Bobby replied, shaking his head and glaring playfully at Jinhwan.   
  
“Oh come on! Show him you care,” Jinhwan needled further.   
  
“If you need pointers, hyung, you can always go and ask Woosung,” Junhoe added, grinning when Hanbin glared at him. “He used to freestyle for Hanbin all the time.”   
  
Hanbin’s eyes were up in the corner, where Woosung and Taeyong were sitting. He was still surprised that Woosung had dragged Taeyong out, but he was grateful and happy about it. He thought the introduction had gone well. Maybe by the end of the day, Woosung might convince Taeyong to join them. But he knew he couldn’t ask. He had to let this happen at it’s own pace.   
  
For now he looked back at Junhoe. “Would you shut up and mind your own business?”   
  
Bobby grinned and looked between the two of them. “Did he really used to freestyle for you?” He thought it was cute. Woosung was an excellent lyricist from what he’d heard so far of him. He wouldn’t be surprised.   
  
Hanbin looked at Bobby and nodded. “Yeah, before every match. He’d do a new version of that old LL Cool J track,” Hanbin explained, smiling when Bobby’s face scrunched up in a laugh.   
  
“Mama Said Knock You Out?” Bobby confirmed, laughing at the idea.   
  
Hanbin leaned into Bobby’s legs, happy he wasn’t bothered by the continued references to Woosung. It was such a far cry from where Bobby had been when they’d first started dating. “Yeah, that one. Honestly I wish we’d recorded some of them, they were pretty funny.”   
  
“I can imagine, he’s got great delivery, I’m amazed at some of the wordplay he does. Like some people are just made for freestyling, and he’s definitely one of them.” Bobby replied, not at all bothered by the conversation. He knew his own strengths and weaknesses, and wasn’t afraid to admit them.   
  
“Wow Bobby, who are you?” Jinhwan said teasingly. “Talking up the ex boyfriend? I love a good character development!”   
  
“Well you don’t seem to have grown much, hyung, so I guess Bobby had to do it for the both of you,” Hanbin shot back, winking at Jinhwan.   
  
“Don’t be upset, hyung, Hanbin didn’t grow at all and I did more growing than anyone, so I think as couples we’re even.” Junhoe replied teasingly, reaching out to pinch Jinhwan’s cheek, only for Jinhwan to slap his hand away.   
  
“Listen, you brat, don’t abuse me.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, looking at Hanbin. “I try to be cute and affectionate, and this is what I get in return.”   
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “That’s fate telling you not to be a fake,” Hanbin replied, “cute and affectionate are like, the last terms I’d think of when describing you.”   
  
Junhoe laughed at the comment, reaching out for Jinhwan’s cheek again, in a playful mood. Jinhwan held his hand this time, just to keep it occupied. And maybe also just because it was nice, holding his hand out in public. The more time passed, the more Junhoe kept surprising him.   
  


* * *

  
“Well, be careful and try not to get hit too hard,” Yunhyeong said, and he was sure it sounded dumb, but he had no experience with boxers. He had no idea what he was supposed to be saying. He looked at Donghyuk’s face, blushing when he saw him grinning. “Oh shut up, don’t make fun of me, I’m worried about you.”   
  
“No, it’s cute!” Donghyuk replied, Yunhyeong’s flustered reaction making his heart swell in affection, “I’ll do well knowing that you’re here cheering for me.”   
  
Yunhyeong smiled and rested his hand on Donghyuk’s arm. “I’d say make me proud, but I’m already proud to be your boyfriend.”   
  
Donghyuk bit the inside of his cheek to try and keep himself together. How could he possibly doubt Yunhyeong’s feelings when he said such sweet things? “Thank you, but I’ll still fight hard to make you even more proud.” He gave him a last smile before turning and following Hanbin down to their coach.   
  
Yunhyeong went back to sit down in between Bobby and Jinhwan.   
  
“Did you give him a cute pep talk?” Jinhwan teased.   
  
“You could say that,” Yunhyeong replied, blushing a little when he thought about what he’d just said to his boyfriend. The words came out so easily in front of him, but they were a little embarrassing to think about after the fact. As long as they made Donghyuk happy, though, he’d keep saying them.   
  
“I’m sure he’ll do well, so don’t worry about him.” Jinhwan replied.   
  
“Bobby, have you watched Hanbin box before?” Yunhyeong asked.   
  
“Yeah, a few times last year.”   
  
“How did you deal with it? Were you worried?” Yunhyeong’s been worried ever since he found out Donghyuk would be competing.   
  
Bobby shrugged. “Honestly, not really? I know Hanbin’s good, he always does well. I think his confidence before fights rubs off on me, you know? Like he expects to wipe the floor with everyone, so I expect him to as well.” He looked at Yunhyeong, smiling when he saw the expression of concern on his face. “Are you worried about Donghyuk?”   
  
Yunhyeong was a little surprised by Bobby’s flippant attitude towards the dangers. “Of course I’m worried. He’s taking punches to the head, what if he gets hurt?”   
  
Bobby shrugged, because he didn’t like playing the  _ what if _ game. “Well, sure, but everything’s dangerous. He could get hit by a car when he’s walking down the road. You can’t worry about everything, so instead I worry about nothing. If something bad happens, it’ll happen. There’s no point in getting stressed out about it.”   
  
Yunhyeong frowned, wondering if he was just being overprotective. “I don’t want him to get hurt. I guess it’s kind of stupid, I mean, he’s into boxing, and I can barely make myself go for a run. But I still feel like I want to protect him.” He waited for them to make fun of him.   
  
“That’s just you being old fashioned!” Junhoe teased, “you want to be the manly man, but you know you’re not.”   
  
Yunhyeong glared at him. “Shut up, Junhoe! I wasn’t asking you.”   
  
“I think it’s sweet,” Jinhwan interrupted, “it means that you care about him. And you’re older, so you feel responsible. It’s only normal, so don’t say it’s dumb.”   
  
Junhoe looked at Jinhwan in surprise. “You’re older than me, but you certainly aren’t protective.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Not to you, but that’s because you need a beating every now and then.”   
  
“Do you ever feel protective of Hanbin?” Yunhyeong asked Bobby.   
  
Bobby nodded. “In a way, sure. Even though I know he can stick up for himself, and he’d probably do a better job protecting me than I’d do protecting me. But he’s younger than me, and I love him, so yeah, I do feel protective sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Bobby smiled, and he thought it was cute that Yunhyeong was feeling so protective of Donghyuk. Donghyuk seemed like the type who’d enjoy that behaviour.   
  
Yunhyeong felt better after hearing his answer. He looked down at the ring, where Donghyuk was having his gloves inspected by the official. It was weird, watching him about to fight someone. But Bobby was right. He didn’t have to feel bad about not wanting him to fight. It was normal to want to protect the people you care about.   
  
And there wasn’t anyone he cared about more than Donghyuk, except maybe his family. It made him feel better when he thought about it. He just wanted Donghyuk to be safe and happy. He couldn’t be wrong for wanting that.   
  


* * *

  
“I don’t really have anything to talk to you about, I just needed to get out of the gym for a bit,” Jinhwan admitted, grinning and pulling Junhoe over to sit on a nearby bench.   
  
“I figured as much,” Junhoe replied, “I don’t mind the fresh air.” They sat down next to each other and without thinking about it, Junhoe put his arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders, and Jinhwan leaned in against him.   
  
Junhoe glanced down at him, suddenly thinking about their earlier conversation. “Hey, hyung? Do you really never feel protective towards me?” Junhoe asked, and it’s not that he was bothered, because the idea of someone wanting to protect him was ludicrous (even if that someone could effectively kick his ass).   
  
“That was a lie,” Jinhwan replied, his hand spreading over Junhoe’s thigh, “I feel protective of you all the time, actually, just not in the same way that I think Yunhyeong does with Donghyuk.”   
  
“Really?” The answer surprised Junhoe, but he was happy to hear it.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him and squeezed his thigh. “Yeah. The more I get to know you, past your tough exterior you have a really soft and sweet heart. You’re like a yappy little puppy that I accidentally kicked once.”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but laugh at the comparison. “Well, if I was a puppy, I was probably trying to bite your feet so you can’t really be blamed.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and looked up into his face, smiling before placing a kiss on his cheek. “I guess not, but still. I like seeing you happy. It’s a good look on you.”   
  
Junhoe almost felt embarrassed at how good the words made him feel. He tried to focus on the moment, tried not to think about their coming separation. How was he going to survive when Jinhwan left?   
  
“Don’t think about that,” Jinhwan suddenly said, like he knew.   
  
“About what?” Junhoe replied, even though he knew exactly what Jinhwan meant.   
  
“You know what. Your expression changed suddenly, got all mopey. Didn’t we agree not to worry about that until it happens?” Jinhwan asked, even though he’d been thinking about it too. He was just better at masking his expressions.   
  
“Sorry,” Junhoe replied, “I couldn’t help it. But you’re right, we’re not supposed to think about that because it won’t help. So, distract me?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at his request, looking around the yard to see if anyone was there. But they were alone, so he turned back to Junhoe and took his face in his hands, pulling him into a kiss. It was a beautiful day, they were having fun with their friends, and they were kissing openly in public. They shouldn’t have any room left in their hearts for future sorrows.   
  


* * *

  
“I can’t believe you made me sit here all day just to watch him win,” Taeyong grumbled, watching Hanbin receive a trophy.   
  
“Yeah, should have left before the final,” Woosung teased, but in reality he was pleased they’d stuck around. He’d expected Taeyong to want to leave earlier, so the fact that he’d hung out until the end was huge. And sure, he was complaining, but he didn’t sound like he was angry.   
  
“He is really good, though, I’m still surprised about that,” Taeyong said, annoyed that Hanbin had another layer to his perfect life. But there was no point in being mad about it. Clearly he’d trained hard. Not that Taeyong was all that knowledgeable about boxing, but it hadn’t just looked like a lucky fight. It had looked like a systematic beat down. It had been impressive. Not that he was happy about being impressed by Hanbin!   
  
“Yeah, I remember the first time I watched him fight. Blew me away, he was so much better. Of course it made me super insecure, but that’s life.” He grew from the experience, and found his own thing. So in the end it all worked out.   
  
“Kinda surprised Donghyuk did that good too,” Taeyong ventured, “I thought he was just a nerdy top student.”   
  
Woosung laughed at the comment, but actually agreed with it. “Yeah, I don’t really know him, since he just came last year. But he does have that smart nerd status, then again so does Hanbin. They make pretty scary friends.”   
  
Taeyong couldn’t help the weird feeling building in his brain. Yes, they were scary friends. At least to people who had nothing of their own to be proud of. But he was scary too, wasn’t he? He was just as good as Hanbin at basketball, just as smart, and sure, maybe he didn’t box, but he probably  _ could, _ if he wanted to.   
  
“Let’s go down and congratulate him and say goodbye, okay?” Woosung asked, hoping Taeyong wasn’t going to say no. The fact that he’d stayed this long had to count for something.   
  
Taeyong frowned and debated his options, feeling weirdly divided. Half of his brain wanted to go and offer praise, wanted to be met with the friendly smiles of Hanbin’s parents again. But the other half wanted to leave without a word, wanted to take a baseball bat and smash windows in. Because it wasn’t fair, not at all. How could one person have so much going for them? How could one person be so happy, when he had so much to be miserable about?   
  
“Yeah fine, let’s go.” He picked the positive thoughts, and it was kind of weird, the way his entire body seemed to relax with his decision. Like he’d been tightly strung while watching from the outside, and now that he was letting himself in a little, he was loosening up. He followed Woosung down to where Hanbin’s family and friends were, feeling fidgety. This whole pseudo-politeness was easy to contemplate from afar, but difficult to accept from up close. He was still blocked by years of being frustrated at his own situation.   
  
“Can’t believe they gave you another trophy,” Woosung said by way of greeting, shaking his head as he approached Hanbin.   
  
“Right? How many is this now?” Hanbin joked, pleased they’d come back. He couldn’t believe Taeyong had agreed to stay, but he wasn’t going to make a big deal of it. Wouldn’t even say anything unless Taeyong brought it up first.   
  
“Too many,” his father piped up, grabbing the trophy out of his son’s hands, “we have no room for it at home so I’m going to take it to work with me, display it on my desk. Make sure everyone knows that my kid could kick their ass.”   
  
The proud comment drove a sharp knife right in between Taeyong’s ribs, piercing him in the side. He wanted that more than anything, a father who was proud of him. Who wanted to tell his acquaintances about him. At least Hanbin appreciated it. That was the only thing keeping him there at the moment. He had so much, but he didn’t take it for granted.   
  
At that moment Taeyong looked down and noticed that Hanbin’s sister had made her way over to him, standing in front of him and looking up. Kids made him nervous, and he looked down at her in half fear, half awkwardness. Her eyes were locked onto his, to the extent that he couldn’t look away. What did she want? Why was she staring at him?   
  
She looked back at her mother, who smiled at her and nodded, and that made Taeyong nervous too. What was she doing?!   
  
“Oppa,” Hanbyul said with a slightly shaky voice, “your hair is so pretty.”   
  
Unexpected. “Uh, thank you.” He stared at her with wide eyes, still confused.   
  
“Can I please touch it?” She asked, and the look on her face had him kneeling down immediately, like he was under some kind of mind control. Oh god he was letting some five year old kid touch his hair! What was he doing?! He was frozen in the moment, his body stiff, like she wasn’t a tiny kid but instead some fierce beast that could rip him to shreds. Her hand softly petted his hair, and he wished the floor would just swallow him whole.   
  
“Ah, Hanbyul! Leave him alone,” Hanbin scolded his sister, mostly to keep himself from laughing. He picked her up and shook his head at her, hoping it hadn’t scarred Taeyong.   
  
“Can I have silver hair, oppa? Please?” Hanbyul whined to her brother, face drawn long, sighing hopefully.   
  
“Uh, mom?” Hanbin called, looking back at his mother, certain she wasn’t about to let Hanbyul bleach her hair.   
  
“Oh no, honey, you have to keep your hair the way it is,” their mother replied, coming closer, sensing an impending meltdown.   
  
“Why? He has silver hair! I want silver hair too!” Hanbyul wailed, sniffling and looking back at Taeyong, who looked mortified.   
  
Oh no. Oh no he was  _ not _ going to be responsible for some little kid screaming! It wasn’t even his fault! He met her eyes and blurted out the first thing he could think to dissuade her.   
  
“It’s really painful!” He said, and a second later he was stunned that he’d actually said anything. He didn’t know the first thing about kids, why was he saying anything?! He should just leave.   
  
Hanbyul’s face dropped in shock. “How painful?” She asked in a hushed voice.   
  
Oh fuck, there was no getting out of this now, was there? He looked from Hanbyul to Hanbin, annoyed when he saw the amused expression on Hanbin’s face. Oh, this was bullshit. He looked back at Hanbyul. “Very painful. One of the most painful things I’ve ever done.”   
  
Hanbyul’s expression turned to one of near reverence. “Wow. You must be so strong.”   
  
Behind them the others attempted to cover up their laughter with coughs, a failed attempt. Even Mr. Kim was laughing, watching them trying to deflect the situation. Taeyong felt mortified on all fronts. But Hanbyul continued to gaze at him with starry eyes, and Taeyong nodded curtly back at her. “Well, I’m used to it.”   
  
Finally Mrs. Kim came to them, patting her daughter’s back. “You hear that? No silver hair for you, or any other colour.” Hanbyul nodded, eyes flitting between them. Mrs. Kim turned to Taeyong then, a look of sympathy on her face.   
  
“I am so sorry,” she whispered to him, “you did good though, thank you.”   
  
Taeyong couldn’t help but smile at her. When was the last time he’d ever heard a parental figure tell him he’d done good? When was the last time either of his parents had ever said thank you to him? He wasn’t sure if they ever had. It was overwhelming.    
  
“Uh, you’re welcome.” He wished he could laugh it off like it was no big deal, but it was a big deal. He could feel it in his chest, the longing for such positive support. He deserved it, didn’t he? He deserved to be told he’d done well. He wasn’t wrong to want that.   
  
“Do you guys want to join us for dinner?” She asked, looking between Taeyong and Woosung, not bothering to ask any of the others. It was that mothering instinct activated, that ability to pick out the people who needed support the most.   
  
Taeyong shook his head, slightly panicked. He wasn’t ready for that. “Um I have to go eat with my grandmother,” he lied, “I’m sorry.”   
  
She just smiled warmly back at him. “Well, next time, then! Woosung?”   
  
Woosung shook his head too, even though he badly wanted to. But Taeyong was clearly panicking over what had just happened, and he didn’t want to leave him on his own. “No thanks, Mrs. Kim. Definitely next time, though. It was good seeing you guys again, but we should get going.”   
  
“Alright, well, don’t be strangers!” She called to them, waving them off as they left before turning to Hanbin, who was shaking his head at her.   
  
“I don’t need a step-brother, mom,” he teased her, grinning when she swatted his arm.   
  
“Oh be quiet! That poor boy looks like he’s starved for parental affection, a mother can always tell.”   
  
Hanbin looked at his father with narrowed eyes, thinking back to the conversation they’d had last year. He’d never told his mother about what he’d overheard from Taeyong’s father. But his father knew what he was thinking, and he shook his head at him, mouthing  _ ‘I never told her’ _ in his direction.   
  
He didn’t think about it for much longer, though, not when Bobby came up behind him and put an arm around his shoulder, kissing his cheek. He put Hanbyul back down on the floor and put his arm around Bobby’s back, and the nine of them left together, heading out for a celebratory dinner courtesy of Hanbin’s parents.   
  
Hanbin and Bobby walked behind the others, arms still wrapped around each other. It was nice that they could do this, the six of them, walk in a group, obvious in their affections. Because people might be willing to harass them if they were only two, but six guys tended to be enough to make even the most bigoted assholes keep to themselves.   
  
He turned his head slightly to look at Bobby, and he got that same warm feeling in his chest, like he was happier than he could possibly ever remember. Bobby glanced at him, like he could feel the gaze on him.   
  
“What?” Bobby asked with a grin, his arm tightening around Hanbin’s shoulders.   
  
“Nothing,” Hanbin replied, but changed his mind a second later, “actually, I really want to say thanks, for today.”   
  
Bobby’s expression turned to confusion. “For what? I didn’t do anything.”   
  
“On the contrary, you did a lot,” Hanbin replied. “You’ve been really nice to Woosung, when a lot of guys would be awkward since we dated. But you’re really friendly, and you even praise him without any prompting. And you’re good to Hanbyul, all the time, and to my parents. I never have to worry about anything when you’re around.”   
  
Bobby didn’t think any of those things required thanks, but all the same it was nice to hear Hanbin acknowledge them. And really, when he thought about it, they were all things he never would have done with any other guy he’d dated. So maybe it was worth at least a bit of praise.   
  
“Well, you’re welcome, then,” Bobby replied, kissing Hanbin’s cheek, “I’m happy if you’re happy.”   
  
Hanbin nuzzled the side of Bobby’s neck for a few steps, kissing him under his ear. “I’m always happy, so I guess we’re just good for each other.”   
  
“I guess we are,” Bobby agreed, and he noticed the others stop just outside the restaurant they’d be eating at, so he stopped Hanbin in his tracks. They stood face to face, and Bobby got the distinct feeling like they’d stepped into some dumb movie, and he was about to say some disgustingly romantic thing that would make Hanbin smile, and if he were watching it, he’d be ready to throw up and complain.   
  
But moments like these were different when you were actually living them, instead of just watching them. They weren’t quite as gross when the feelings were your own.   
  
Hanbin looked at him expectantly, like he knew there was something he wanted to say. Bobby just stared at him for a second before leaning down and hovering just over his lips.   
  
“I love you, Bin,” he said before he kissed him, and Hanbin’s smile was worth every bit of teasing he’d get from anyone else who might see them like this.

 


End file.
